“I’m almost packed.” She looked around her at the growing stacks of packed boxes. She didn’t want to leave this cramped, tiny space that had been her home, a place where she and her daughter had been happy.
“I didn’t mean help with packing.” Breezy picked up a snow globe from the shelf and wrapped it in paper. “Although I will help pack. I meant, do you need a friend?”
Friends. Yes, she and Breezy had become friends since the other woman arrived in Martin’s Crossing six months ago. And now Breezy would be Lilly’s aunt. Because Breezy was married to Duke’s brother, Jake Martin.
“Duke is in the clouds over this situation, Oregon,” Breezy said.
Oregon held a carved horse in her hands and stared at the wall. She ached inside, wishing away this situation and how it was changing all of their lives. “I know he is.”
“How is Lilly doing?”
Oregon shrugged and placed the horse in a box. “She’s doing better physically. Getting used to the crutches and the fact that she won’t spend her summer vacation swimming.” She drew in a breath. “She’s angry. At me. At Duke. At the world. But she’s with him at the diner, because she’s still trying to save up money for a horse, and he offered to let her work the cash register today.”
“He wants to buy her a horse,” Breezy offered. “He’d buy her the moon if he could.”
“She doesn’t need that. Buying her everything she wants won’t solve the heartache.”
“No, it won’t.” Breezy reached for another dust collector to wrap in paper.
“I have too many snow globes and knickknacks.” Oregon looked around the tiny living space. “Why do I collect things?”
Breezy smiled at that. “Now that is something I have an answer for. Because we moved so much as children. Things mean stability, having a home. If you collect something, you take it with you so that every new place feels a little familiar. Like home.”
Oregon agreed as she looked at the shelves filled with things she’d collected. She had moved often as a girl because her mom couldn’t stay in a relationship. Breezy, on the other hand, had spent much of her life drifting and homeless. Oregon wanted more for her daughter. She wanted a place where Lilly could have roots, family, a real home.
“I’m happy for my daughter. She loves Duke. She’s loved him since the day we got to town. I just don’t want him to let her down. I don’t want to lose her, either.”
“You won’t lose her. And if ever there was a guy who wouldn’t let a kid down, it’s Duke Martin.”
“In my heart I know that.” But old hurts were hard to let go of. So many men had let her down. Starting with her own father, a man whose name she didn’t even know, and ending with Duke, who should have remembered her. It was hard to put her trust in him now.
She taped the box and gave herself a lecture about trusting. Because she knew that she could trust God. She knew that He wouldn’t let her down. He wouldn’t go away. He wouldn’t change His mind. Whatever happened with Duke, with Lilly, she knew they would get through this.
“I’m going to bring a casserole to the new place this evening so you don’t have to worry about cooking.” Breezy reached for an empty box.
“Thank you.”
Breezy set the box down on the table and reached for a stack of books. “Why did you come here after so many years? I guess we all wondered what changed.”
Fair questions. Duke had also asked, pushing to know more about her sudden appearance after so many years. He had wanted to know about the years in between, when she hadn’t thought it was a good idea to tell him about Lilly.
Life changes and so do people, she had told him the previous day. But she hadn’t told him that sometimes things happen and a mother realizes her little girl might someday need a safety net, another parent if one has to go away.
Her heart ached at the thought of ever having to leave her little girl alone. She wanted to be in her daughter’s life for decades, not years. She wanted to watch Lilly grow up. See her get married, have children and grow older.
“Oregon, are you okay?”
She nodded, somehow looking at her friend with eyes free of tears. “Of course. I’m just emotional. I love this silly apartment.”
Breezy shot her a look and shook her head. “I do not believe you are that attached to this place. And when you change your mind about talking, I’m here.”
“I know you are.” She managed to keep her hands from trembling. “What are people in town going to say? How will they treat her now that they know?”
Breezy put down the cup she’d been about to wrap and hugged Oregon tight. And Oregon didn’t back away. She closed her eyes to fend off tears but held on to her friend.
“People love you, and they love your daughter. That isn’t going to change.”
“But life is going to change.”
“Yeah, that’s something we can’t avoid.” Breezy released her. Oregon listened to the brush of crutches on the sidewalk. Lilly was home.
Oregon hurried to open the door for her daughter, and Lilly gave her an “I can do it myself” look.
“Are you done working for the day?” Oregon asked as Lilly looked around the room at boxes nearly packed and empty walls and shelves.
Her daughter nodded. “I’m finished.”
“Did you have fun?” Oregon winced at the question. Lilly shot her a look of disbelief.
“Of course I had fun. Just... I’m not sure what to call Duke. He used to be my friend. Now he’s my dad.”
Oregon didn’t know how to respond, to the question or to the not-so-well-disguised anger. “Call him whatever feels right.”
“Yeah, okay. Anyway, he said to tell you to come over and eat lunch.”
“Thanks, honey.”
Lilly shrugged and looked at the boxes, her back to Oregon and Breezy.
Oregon hadn’t known what to expect when Lilly learned the truth about Duke. In her mind she’d played through several scenarios. In one, Lilly had been thrilled, loving both of them, accepting that they would both love her, even if they couldn’t be a family. In another, Lilly had rejected Duke and in the third, she had rejected Oregon.
They paled in comparison to the truth. The truth was a child who watched both parents, wary and unsure of the future. Reality was a flash of pain in blue eyes, accusing and angry.
Oregon had done this to her daughter. With her choices, first not to tell Duke and then to wait until now, when it felt too late.
Breezy slid a knowing gaze from Lilly to Oregon and offered a sympathetic look. “I should go. The twins are due for a nap, and Jake said something about cattle he has to work. Marty is off today.”
The door closed softly behind her, followed by retreating steps. Oregon watched Lilly as she eased around boxes, her eyes focusing on trinkets that had been wrapped and packed to go.
“I’m sorry. I know I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again until you believe me. Or forgive me.”
Lilly didn’t look at her, but there was a shudder to her indrawn breath that hinted at tears. “I know. You were young and afraid. Duke was no good. He wasn’t responsible. He forgot you, and then he left.”
Lilly’s voice trembled as she repeated every word Oregon had said, tossing the words back at her, letting her hear the flimsiness of the explanations. She ached inside. She wanted to reach for her daughter but knew that Lilly would reject the comfort, and she didn’t think she could handle the rejection right now.
“I made a lot of mistakes.”
“Yeah, I know,” Lilly said.