The New Baby

“Oh.” His tone told her he was curious, but not nosy enough to push. “So, I take it this is the first time you’ve been here in quite a while?”

“That’s right.” Regret filled her all over again that she hadn’t come to Tennessee to spend time with Granny more often. Why was it that only hindsight was twenty-twenty? “I was just a kid the last time I stayed in Boone’s Crossing. Well, other than when I came here for Granny’s funeral.”

“Ah—then you probably have no idea what you’ve been missing out on.” Ian sat down once more on the fallen log, scooting over to make room for her.

“What’s that?” Amanda asked as she sat beside him.

“BJ’s Barbecue. Established in 1995. It’s the best this side of the Mississippi.” He shifted his weight in such a way that his shirtsleeve touched her bare skin.

Amanda resisted the urge to move—whether closer to him or farther away, she wasn’t sure. “Really? I guess I’ll have to try it sometime.” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she realized how her comment sounded. Like she was fishing for him to ask her out. On the other hand, he could’ve been doing the same, bringing up the subject in the first place. Feeling jittery once more, Amanda subtly shifted farther away from him. “Although I’m not sure when I might have time,” she amended.

“Busy schedule?” he asked. His dark eyes held a look of disappointment.

Or was that only wishful thinking on her part? Like it or not, she was deeply attracted to Ian. “Most of the time, yes. I rarely take two days off in a row. But I don’t mind. My residents mean a lot to me.”

“That’s nice,” Ian said, his tone softening. “I know Papaw sure thinks the world of you.”

Amanda smiled. “Ditto. I know it’s not right to play favorites, but Zeb holds a special place in my heart. I feel like I’ve known him a long time, even though I don’t remember him as a child.”

“He has that effect on just about everyone he meets.” Ian laced his fingers together and let his hands dangle between his knees, elbows propped on his thighs. “I sure miss having him at the house.”

“I didn’t realize he’d lived with you.” Amanda tried to hide the surprise in her voice. Most people would go to whatever lengths it took to avoid taking care of an elderly relative.

Ian nodded. “Yep. Right up until his mule bucked him off.”

“Is that really how he broke his hip? I thought he was teasing me.”

“No, he wasn’t kidding.” He looked straight at her, and she found it hard to pull her gaze away from his eyes. “Papaw’s always fancied himself a cowboy. I’ve tried to tell him Roy Rogers never rode a mule.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. “No, but Festus did. On Gunsmoke.”

“Yeah, that’s right, he did.” Ian watched the scouts, checking their progress of making camp. He was silent for a full minute.

Amanda knew she ought to leave. She started to rise, words of farewell on the tip of her tongue.

“Would you like to go to BJ’s with me?” Ian cocked his head, studying her intently.

She froze in place and swallowed. “I don’t know, Ian. I—”

“Hey!” One of the boys, a redhead wearing round, wire-rimmed glasses, shouted as he raced toward them. Troy Stoakes ran with him.

They halted near the log, exchanged gleeful looks, then stared at Ian. “I thought you said there’d be no girl kissing on this camping trip.” Troy’s freckled nose wrinkled as he pursed his lips and grinned. “But you’re sitting mighty close to her.” He spoke in a singsong voice, waggling his forefinger at Amanda.

His buddy snickered. “Guess she’s more fun than catchin’ frogs.” His face flushed as bright as his hair. He glanced at Amanda, then raced away, howling with laughter.

“And she looks pretty good in a pink bathrobe,” Troy said, backing out of reach as Ian made a playful grab for him. He spun on his heel and took off after his friend, hooting and whooping.

“I’ll get you both,” Ian called, cupping his hands to his mouth. “Just wait until you’re asleep tonight.” He chuckled, lowering his hands to his knees. “God, I love kids.”

Speechless, Amanda could only look at him.

He grinned, his dimples doing damage to her heart. “O-kay,” he said, drawing the word out in two syllables. “I guess those boys are better at mind reading than they are at reading trail signs.”

Amanda’s face heated. “And here I thought only girls were that silly.”

Ian rose from the log, offering her a hand. She took it, and let him help her to her feet. Again, she noted the work-rough texture of his palm and longing and regret filled her. Black memories swirled through her mind, threatening to darken the warm, sunny day and blot out the happy voices of the children in the nearby clearing. The familiar rush of adrenaline-driven anxiety filled her. She took a deep breath, focusing on a relaxation technique her therapist had taught her, and managed to shake off her panic.

“Thanks,” she said, then realized she’d never finished answering Ian’s question. “About BJ’s—please don’t take it personally, but I’m going to have to say no.”

He held up one hand. “Hey, don’t worry about it.” He studied her a moment, then gave her a good-natured smile that made it all the harder to walk away.

Awkward silence stretched between them. “I’m home for the rest of the day,” Amanda said, gesturing toward the house. “If anyone gets a skinned knee or a bug bite or whatever, feel free to holler.”

“A nurse on call right next to our campsite.” Ian nodded, and his dimples appeared once more. “Beats the heck out of my first-aid kit.”

“See you.” Amanda lifted her hand in a wave, taking a step backward.

“Sure.” He waved, too. “Enjoy your day off. I’ll try to keep these hooligans at a dull roar.”

She watched him walk away. He looked back only once, and it was almost enough to make her wish she’d said yes to his invitation.

Why? she asked herself as she headed toward the log house. Why would you want to open yourself up to more pain?

She had no answer. But then, that was why she’d moved to Tennessee. To sort things out slowly and give herself space until she finally discovered a long-term plan for living the rest of her life. At the moment, she had no idea where she was headed. The only thing she knew for sure was that right now there was no room in her journey for good-looking men with dark eyes, or silly fantasies about what might have been.

Maybe there never would be.

IAN COULDN’T BELIEVE he’d actually worked up the nerve to ask Amanda out. Sure, it was only for a barbecue sandwich, but he’d blown it at that. He was far more out of practice at this dating business than he’d thought possible. Papaw would give him hell if he found out.

Ian lay in his sleeping bag, hands laced behind his neck as he looked up at the stars. Nearby, he’d pitched a tent in case of rain. Actually, he’d probably crawl inside before too long and zip himself in to avoid the insects and the possibility of snakes paying him a visit. But he liked watching the night sky and the lightning bugs. Around him, the boys were settled in their own tents, mostly quiet. A few smothered chortles came here and there, but as long as they kept it down, he’d let them have their fun. After all, that’s what being a kid and camping out with your buddies was all about.

Fun seemed to be a word that had slid further and further from his vocabulary as of late. Ian peered through the trees at the log cabin. He could see it pretty clearly in the light of the full moon. All of the windows appeared dark. But of course, he couldn’t see those on the other side. He’d only been in the house a couple of times when Olivia Satterfield was alive, and he didn’t really remember the layout. But it stood to reason the bedrooms were likely toward the back, which meant either Amanda was asleep, or she was in the living room in the front area of the house, out of his line of sight.

They’d parted rather awkwardly tonight. He hoped he hadn’t made her too uncomfortable by asking her out on a date. Maybe she had a boyfriend back in Colorado, or even a husband for all he knew. She’d said she had come here to work through some personal issues. People separated all the time, trying to get their heads on straight and make things right. He hoped that wasn’t the case with Amanda, because he wasn’t ready to give up on her yet.

He liked her. It was easy to see she was warm and had a sense of humor, and she seemed to like kids, even though something was a little off in that area. No matter what she’d said, he could tell she wasn’t overly thrilled with having the Cubs camped out here in her woods. She’d simply been too nice to say no. He’d overlooked the fact because he didn’t have the heart to disappoint his troop. But he wondered what lay behind her hesitancy. He was pretty sure it wasn’t just a matter of privacy.

With a sigh, Ian slid from his sleeping bag, still clad in his jeans and shirt. He never completely undressed when camping with the kids. There was always the chance of an emergency, and he didn’t like the thought of being caught in his boxers, barefooted. He’d left his socks on, and now turned his hiking boots upside down and tapped them against a rock to make sure no crawly creatures had decided to take up residence inside them. Feeling the need for a short walk, he slipped the boots on and laced them up, then headed down the path toward Amanda’s.

For whatever reason, he felt compelled to take another look at the house where she lay sleeping. To think about her awhile longer, and see if he couldn’t come up with a way to get to know her better, other than hanging around Papaw at the nursing home.

The sound of crying reached him as he neared the yard. Pausing, he listened and heard nothing. His ears must be playing tricks on him. But there it was again. Quiet sobs, coming from the creek bank. Ian hesitated, wondering if he should leave well enough alone, turn around, head back to camp, and mind his own business. But he couldn’t. It always pained him to hear a woman cry.

Though he could hear Amanda, he could not see her. The clouds had blown across the sky, covering the moon. But as he took a step, they shifted once more on the high breeze, and he spotted her sitting on the bank of the stream. Her back was to him, and her blond hair cascaded nearly to her waist. It was the first time he’d seen it down, rather than in a bun or ponytail. Legs pulled up to her chin, arms wrapped around her knees, Amanda had her head down, crying as if her heart had been shattered.

Torn once more between leaving her to her privacy and the urge to soothe her, Ian walked quietly up behind her. “It can’t be all that bad.”

Amanda swung around and let out a yelp. She clambered to her feet, which were bare, and swiped at her cheeks with both hands. “My God, you scared the life out of me.” Emotions in control, she stood staring at him, her expression caught between anger and embarrassment. She reminded him of an overgrown kid, in the faded jeans and pale yellow blouse she’d had on earlier, her feet and arms creamy white as though they hadn’t seen much sun lately.