This Heart of Mine

“Then what did?”

“It took her a while to open those boxes and figure out they were safe to accept.”

Kyle’s expression showed interest. “You saw her open them?”

“Yeah. After she chased you off, she thought whoever had left the stuff was gone.”

“But...how did she not see you? With that damn floodlight it wasn’t even very dark.”

“That’s why I couldn’t move. I was hiding in the shadows behind her mother’s trailer.” And she definitely hadn’t seen him. If she’d known he was there, she would never have broken down. That was what had made her relief and gratitude so honest. Here was someone who’d withstood so much tragedy without flinching. She hadn’t complained or railed at him when he didn’t bring Jacob to see her in the correctional facility, even though she’d requested it several times. She would simply wait a few months and politely ask him again.

Now he felt like shit that he hadn’t shown more consideration. But he hadn’t wanted to confuse Jacob, hadn’t wanted to do anything that might cause his son to stumble. His parents, who’d been so much help when Jacob was small, had convinced him that allowing any kind of contact with Phoenix would be a grave mistake. And there was something about believing that she’d gotten what she deserved that neutralized compassion in general—and in him, too—especially when so many people he respected stood united in that opinion.

“So what did she think?” Kyle asked as they walked toward the truck.

Riley shifted the bike to his other hand. It wasn’t heavy, but it was awkward to carry. “She liked everything.”

“Really?” He seemed pleased, and Riley understood why. He’d felt the same way when she’d held that sundress to her chest as if it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. “How do you know?”

Riley grinned at him. “Trust me, it was obvious.”

“She’s too guarded to show much emotion. But you could tell, huh?”

She wasn’t guarded when he saw her because she’d thought she was alone. All her walls had come crumbling down. But he felt it would violate her privacy to share the moment he’d witnessed, with those tears streaming down her face, so he kept it to himself. “Yeah, I could.”

“I hope I get to see her wear something we bought,” he said.

They reached the truck. “That felt great,” Riley admitted as he climbed into the passenger seat. “Thanks for including me.”

Kyle looked surprised. “Seriously, man? I know it’s hard for you to have her back.”

Riley had had his own challenges, but he’d never been through anything even close to what she had—and maybe none of it had been her fault. “Seriously.”

* * *

Riley almost ignored the knock that sounded early the next morning. He’d been up most of the night, and Sunday was his day off.

Jake can get it, he thought, and rolled over. It was probably one of Jacob’s friends, anyway, rousting him to go mountain biking or out for a hike.

But when the knocking continued, he remembered Jacob wasn’t even home. He’d stayed with his best buddy, Tristan Abbott, last night and Riley had been happy to let him. He’d known that if Jacob stayed elsewhere he wouldn’t have to explain his own whereabouts or actions.

“Coming!” he called as he dragged himself out of bed and yanked on a pair of jeans.

“Where’s your shirt?” his mother snapped once he opened the door.

He shoved a hand through his hair. “You’re lucky I have my pants on. Anyone who bothers me this early deserves to see me in whatever state I decide to answer the door.”

“Have you seen her?” she asked as she brushed past him and into the house.

He didn’t really want to have this discussion. He knew who “she” was, and he knew that he and his mother were going to have very different opinions on Phoenix, especially after what he’d witnessed last night. He wished everyone would leave her alone, let her live in peace.

“She took Jacob and me to breakfast yesterday morning at Just Like Mom’s. Why? Is that the reason you’re here? Did someone tell you about that?”

“No. But I’m surprised you didn’t.”

“This is the first time I’ve seen you. Did you want me to file a report?”

She perched on the edge of his couch. “That would’ve been nice. You’re not the only one who has a stake in this, you know.”

“Where’s Dad?” he asked.

“On his way to the golf course with his friends.”

“He was willing to miss the ‘Phoenix’ talk?”

“He’d miss my funeral for a good golf game.”

Riley couldn’t help chuckling.

“So?” she said.

“So, what?”

“How did she act?”

They were back to the nitty-gritty details of his first visit with Phoenix. “She was very...polite.”

“Of course! She wants to impress you.”

“She wants to know her son, Mom. She’s made that clear, wouldn’t you say?”

“That’s what she’d like us to believe, but she hoped to get you before, and I’m sure she’d be thrilled to land you now. You remember how fixated she was on you.” She picked a piece of lint off her slacks. “You wouldn’t want to start something like that up again, would you?”

Even that aspect of Phoenix’s actions had been exaggerated over the years. “She deserves the chance to prove she’s changed.”

“What are the odds she changed for the better in prison?” his mother responded.

“Don’t make it sound like that’s impossible. Otherwise, why would we let anyone out?”

“Because there aren’t enough cells to keep all the murderers locked up. But I didn’t come here to debate the penal system. I was hoping to get you to reconsider being so flexible. She’s probably seen things you and I can only imagine. Who knows what kind of people she met in that place? I don’t want her to become a negative influence on Jacob after all we’ve done to raise him right.”

Riley’s temper was beginning to chafe. “Mom, Jacob’s sixteen. Almost an adult. We can’t protect him forever.”

“He’s at a very impressionable age!”

“Still, we need to trust in who he is. It’s up to him to decide whether he wants his mother in his life.”

“But he doesn’t know what’s best.”