Discovering You

She didn’t realize she was no longer washing dishes—that she was only staring—until her phone buzzed. Then she finally looked away. She’d been trying to reach her in-laws to tell them about the DA’s decision, and now they were getting back to her.

After drying her hands, she turned from the window and hit the talk button.

“Hello?” She went into the living room so she wouldn’t be tempted to watch Rod anymore. Charlie was dead, but somehow she still felt guilty about the things she thought and felt whenever she encountered her neighbor. She knew the Sommerses wouldn’t appreciate the fact that another man had that kind of effect on her. She’d have to remain single for a long time in order to convince them that she’d loved Charlie and wouldn’t have done anything to hurt him.

“India? It’s Claudia,” her mother-in-law said. “How are you, sweetheart?”

The endearments Charlie’s mother bandied about could be so misleading. India wished they were sincere. Since she’d never really had a father, and she’d lost her mother when she was still young, she often felt a childlike craving for the love of a good parent.

But experience had taught her that Claudia’s sweetheart, honey and darling were mere words. Claudia tried to like her because she’d meant so much to Charlie, but on some level, she couldn’t help blaming India, as India blamed herself, for what Sebastian had done. The defense attorney had made her look so bad. India had felt her in-laws’ loyalties weakening as witness after witness claimed she’d called Sebastian several times, which she had, but only for moral support because he’d been talking about suicide, that she was probably still in love with him—given their history—and that they were planning to run away together once she inherited the money. As a result, relations between her and Charlie’s parents were strained and had been for months, although they all tried to pretend they were as close as ever.

“I’m fine,” India said, despite the fact that she felt as if she was living from minute to minute. “And you?”

“Busy. Little Cassia and I went to the thrift store today and bought an old trunk that we filled with whatever toys she wanted. Guess what she picked?”

“A ball of some kind?” India knew it wouldn’t be anything too girlie. Cassia preferred to be outside playing with boys and had no interest in Barbies or dress-up.

“Yes. We got her a tee to hit off and some other sports stuff but no dolls. She’s such a tomboy.”

A twinge of jealousy had India gritting her teeth. Cassia was her daughter, damn it. India wanted her back. And yet she couldn’t push, not if Sebastian was free. He could be looking for her this very minute. It wasn’t as if she’d moved far away. Her in-laws had insisted she remain fairly close so they could continue to be a big part of Cassia’s life.

But right now India felt they were too involved. A whole month without her daughter was beginning to feel like an eternity.

“I’ll bet she loved that,” she said, carefully modulating her voice to sound congenial and appreciative. “You’re such a good grandmother.”

“It’s been wonderful spending time with her. I can’t tell you how much fun we’re having. And I’m sure it’s made things easier for you. Moving is such a big job.”

India gripped the phone tighter. “Yes, but I’m pretty well finished.”

“You’re all settled, then?”

“Except for hanging the paintings. I...I’m not ready for that.”

There was a moment of silence. “Charlie bought you a lot of art.”

“Yes. He knew how much I loved it.” She closed her eyes. “I miss him so much.”

She hadn’t intended to say that last part. The words had just welled up and slipped out. They came from a place of pain and deep regret, but she could tell from Claudia’s hesitation that her mother-in-law didn’t know whether to trust her.

“We all do,” she said. She spoke stiffly, as if she was the only one who really missed him.

After that India found herself gravitating to the window to see if Rod was still out. The fact that she was ogling another man almost made her believe she must be as fickle as her mother-in-law suspected. But admiring him helped combat some of her anger, disappointment and fear.

Too bad he was mowing on the far side of the house where she couldn’t see him...

“Will you be coming soon, to check out my new place?” she asked Claudia.

“Not before we bring Cassia home. Steve’s too busy with his new victims’ charity. We’ve been putting together a golf tournament, and it’s taking hours and hours out of every day.”

India caught her breath. “You could always bring Cassia home early if you need to concentrate on other things. That would be no problem for me. I’m basically moved in and ready.” She’d figure out some way to protect her...

“Oh, no. Cassia’s more important. We won’t let anything interrupt this month with our girl.”

India slowly released her breath. She’d taken advantage of the opportunity to try—because she knew as soon as she told Claudia that Sebastian was no longer in jail and might never return to custody, she’d probably have to battle her in-laws in court to get Cassia back. “Can I talk to her?”

“Of course.”

A momentary flash of hope shot through India, which Claudia immediately extinguished.

“But later,” she said. “She’s right in the middle of helping Papa make lunch. We’ll have her call you after, if we get the chance.”

If we get the chance... They wouldn’t call, and if India ever asked why, they’d invent some excuse. Charlie’s parents were so possessive of their granddaughter.

Now that India knew she wasn’t going to be speaking to her little girl, at least in this conversation, she moved on to the purpose of her call. “I got hold of Detective Flores earlier.”

“You did? I’ve called and called. I always get his darn voice mail. What’d he say? When’s the next trial?”

Rod came into view, the muscles of his left arm bulging as he carried the grass clippings to the green waste can. India put her hand to the window as if she could touch his warm skin or feel the solid thud of his heartbeat—as if such a strong man could shelter her in some way. But that was ridiculous. He was rough around the edges, much more like the ex-boyfriends who’d created so many problems for her in the past than true-blue Charlie.

“They’re waiting,” she told Claudia.

“I couldn’t hear you. What’d you say?”

India forced herself to speak louder. “They aren’t convinced they have enough evidence to get a conviction. They’d rather not risk a second trial, not until they’ve built a stronger case.”

Another long silence, this one filled with shock and anger.

India could identify with both of those emotions.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Claudia said when she spoke again.

“I’m afraid not.” India swallowed, trying to wet her tongue, to make it easier to speak. “But Detective Flores is hopeful that they’ll be able to bring him back to trial soon.”

“When?”

India watched Rod disappear around the corner of his house again. “They can’t give us a date. Yet.”

“Which means what? It may never happen? Is that animal going to get away with what he did to my son? He took a life! And not just any life—the life of someone who mattered!”

India winced. She’d often felt Claudia wished she’d been the one to die that night. There’d been times she’d wished the same thing...

“It’s heart-wrenching,” she said and prayed she’d put enough emotion into that statement. The Sommerses, and everyone else who knew Charlie, were always watching her and interpreting everything she said or did with such suspicion. She felt as bad as Claudia did about this most recent turn of events. But she couldn’t commiserate with her on the DA’s lack of action or show the doubt she had that Sebastian would eventually be brought to justice, because then her mother-in-law would start thinking about Cassia and the fact that she might not be safe living with her mother.

If India wanted her daughter back without a fight, she had to ignore her own despair and convince the Sommerses that this was only a temporary setback.

“It’s beyond heart-wrenching,” Claudia said. “There are no words for what we’ve suffered.”

That was true. The past eleven months had been hellish. And yet, for her own sake as well as Cassia’s, India had to keep herself together. She was fighting to do that. Charlie wouldn’t want them to be miserable, but this new hurdle...