Walcot

‘Yes, but Mum says they are too expensive.’

The old lady inspected your face. ‘Violet, I recall … Violet criticized your Uncle Jeremy. Jeremy’s of his son, deplorable treatment. Poor Sid. Rightly so, to my mind. It’s as well to speak. Brave to speak, um, out. A necessary adjunct. I say, adjunct of civiliz … our civilization.’

Lamely, you said, ‘We were all upset about Sad Sid.’

‘Suicide. Suicide is … sorry, suicide is always a family … A criticism, I mean to say, of the family.’

‘We are a funny family, I must agree,’ said Sonia. ‘Look at their faces! But our sausage rolls are good. May I get you one, Granny?’

‘No, thank you. Valerie.’

‘No, sorry Granny.’ Sonia vigorously shook her head. ‘I’m Sonia, thanks very much. And I’m alive. Valerie is the one who is not alive.’

‘I see.’ Elizabeth spoke gravely, looking into Sonia’s face. ‘And was not Valerie also hunchbacked?’

‘Oh, heavens no! Valerie was perfect, Granny. Everyone knows that. That was why she died, so they say. Died of perfection, like Jesus on the Cross. In fact, I believe I saw her at your husband’s graveside.’ She pressed her fingers to her lips. ‘Sorry, shouldn’t have mentioned gravesides.’

Elizabeth nodded thoughtfully, but she could not restrain a smile. ‘Well then, Sonia, you should go far in life, and get into a lot of trouble on the way.’

She dismissed the subject. Again the inspection of your face. You liked your grandmother’s intelligence, while finding it alarming at times. Her face still bore traces of a smile.

‘I hope you learnt something. Stephen. From Sad Sid’s death. Unlike your cheeky little sister.’

‘Valerie?’

‘Sonia.’

‘I still feel bad about it, Gran.’

‘Feeling bad is the same. Is not the same as something. Learning something.’ She changed the subject abruptly. She tapped the end of her cigarette on the rim of a brass ashtray, which was secured in the middle of a weighted leather strap so that it hung comfortably over the arm of the sofa on which she was sitting. ‘But that you know.’

She murmured the sentence to herself again, perhaps checking to see that she had got it right. ‘But that you know.’

‘Why should your mother have a say? Have a say over whether or not one attended? Attended.’ She seemed momentarily to be stuck on the word. ‘If her brothers and his wife attended … attended his father’s funeral? Particularly when Sidney had a special. Special affection for Bertie. If you remember, dear, Bertie in his youth. In his youth, he flew … where?’

‘Kabul,’ you said.

‘Oh dear, I must go,’ said Sonia. ‘I’ve just remembered something.’ She slipped away, saying, ‘I just want to see if Gyp has died in the greenhouse.’

‘Yes. Kabul,’ Elizabeth echoed. She watched Sonia’s retreat with a slight smile. ‘It’s in Africa, I believe.’

‘Afghanistan, Granny.’

‘Of course. Quite right.’

You had no answer to her larger question. You knew only that, in the days preceding the funeral, terrible arguments had broken out between your parents. Some weeks earlier, Mary had ventured a few critical remarks regarding Violet to Violet’s husband, Bertie. She told him that Violet was ‘spendthrift’, and had added the damning word ‘gallivanting’. Bertie had become furious, vowing he would not speak to his sister again. Nothing had been said on that occasion about Violet’s criticisms regarding the causes of Sad Sid’s suicide; indeed, the word ‘suicide’ had proved too terrible to utter. In an endeavour to settle the quarrel, Martin had phoned Jack, Mary’s other brother, asking him to intervene. Jack had accused Martin of going behind his sister’s back. So a thunderous family row had developed, about which you knew nothing, walking into frosty silences as into a brick wall. Mary had said, ‘I don’t care who’s died, I won’t have that Violet here, flaunting her new clothes about the place! Neglecting her children! Making eyes at all the men!’ And that ended the matter.

You felt for your grandmother, that calm and elegant lady. Anxious to detach yourself from your parents’ quarrels, you said to her now, ‘I really like Auntie Violet, Gran. She’s ever so kind, you know.’

The remark appeared to make no impression on the new widow. In her halting way of speaking, she replied, ‘People should not be small. Not small-minded. When there’s a war. Particularly. A war. Now Mussolini. After all, on. Coming.’

You expressed agreement.

Elizabeth said, ‘Oh dear, here is my dreadful Bella,’ referring to her younger daughter. You thought she wished to change the subject, but she added, ‘Violet brings a little family. I mean life. Into the family.’

There were pauses between her sentences. She would have said more, had not Joy Frost come to speak to her. You were squatting on your heels to bring your face on a level with your grandmother’s. Putting a hand on your shoulder, Joy conveyed her condolences to Elizabeth. Joy had had her hair done for the occasion and had asked you earlier if you did not think she looked sizzling. You agreed she did look sizzling.

But Elizabeth was pursuing an earlier trail of thought. ‘She has two children. At least two – Violet, I mean to say. A girl, Joyce. And a boy … I’ve forgotten –’

‘Douglas,’ you reminded her. ‘Dougie – the funny boy.’

‘I had every wish, every wish. What? To be fond of them, you silly woman!’

Tears swam to Elizabeth’s eyes. She turned her head away to conceal them, affecting to look out of the window.

‘How they do pass, the years,’ she said abstractedly to thin air. ‘Yes,’ you said – many years before you were able to respond to the statement with a genuine affirmative.

‘Intellect … unfortunately. Unfortunately intellect is no shield. Not against regret. I hope you two grand … two grandchildren,’ she gave you a swift glance, ‘Will properly revere the … What was it? Yes, what I just said. Intellect. My children, my children have proved lacking. Somewhat lacking in that … that region. Department. Mm, yes, department.’

She essayed a smile. Being of an age when it was agreeable to hear adverse comments on your parents, you produced murmurs of reassurance.

Light filtering through your bay window made your grandmother’s face, with its now prominent cheekbones, look as if it were made entirely of bone. In her clear, remote voice, she said, ‘My grandfather had a small orchard. An orchard. An orchard of Laxton’s Superb. Laxton’s Superb. A delicious apple eating. Laxton’s Superb. You don’t see it now. Not now. No longer. Laxton’s Superb, yes.’

She lingered over the name of the apple, apparently luxuriating in it. Reaching out her arm, stiffly, she stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette. ‘I wonder who Mr Laxton was.’

While she had been speaking, her daughter, Belle, characterized by the old lady as the ‘dreadful Bella’, came across the room and sat down on the sofa beside her mother. She folded her hands in her lap and remained there with a vague smile on her face, as if expecting everyone to be content with her presence without her having to make further effort.

You wished to learn more of the family dislike of your favourite aunt. ‘Granny, you were saying about Violet –’

Elizabeth had taken out a tiny lace handkerchief with which she dabbed her eyes. ‘Bertie drinks too much. Far too much. From flying. A leg … a legacy from his flying days. It makes Violet – Oh!’

Her exclamation was long and cool, much like a sigh. You stood up. Mary shrieked in a refined way. On the other side of the room, Claude had told a lewd joke. Ada, stepping back in disapproval, had bumped into Emma. Emma had been bringing in a tray loaded with champagne glasses and a magnum of Moet & Chandon. She made a gallant effort to stave off disaster, but the tray was thrown into flight, crashing to the floor. The poor maid fell to her knees and covered her face with her hands. Joy Frost helped her to her feet, trying to console her, but Emma fled the room. Claude, Ada and Mary all rushed after her.

Elizabeth said, quietly addressing you and ignoring her daughter Belle, ‘Many of the members of this family. Many members are half-mad. Mary, your mother, of course. Jeremy. Bertie. Possibly Violet. And of course … of course my husband … That was.’

She tried to hide her face in the small square of her handkerchief.

‘I’m going to Venice,’ she said, with a brighter tone. ‘I’ve mind … made up my mind. My cats will. Someone will have to. Look afterwards … have to look after my … You know, I just said it. Cats. I’m going to Venice to stay with my friend. My Dorothy friend. You and your hunchbacked sister are welcome to visit. Welcome if you can stand.’ She gave a curt little laugh. ‘Stand the company of old people.’ She looked searchingly at you. Her eyes were red. ‘I plan to be away. For some while. Four or five months away.’

But in five months’ time, Hitler’s Wehrmacht had invaded Poland, and Britain and France had declared war on Germany.

8 (#ulink_3bc0b965-3911-566e-8ce7-dd494ce714b4)

Kendal, of All Places (#ulink_3bc0b965-3911-566e-8ce7-dd494ce714b4)

It was the morning of Sunday, 3rd of September, 1939, and your mother was having a weeping fit. She had a mixture of complaints, including the accusation that Elizabeth was cool towards her, that Sonia’s hunchback was ‘beyond a joke’, that your room was always untidy, that Ribbentrop was a nice, handsome man, and that she missed Valerie.

Valerie. Your father groaned at the mention of Valerie’s name.