The Complete Short Stories: The 1960s

‘Why do you suddenly want to go to the Moon, Mr Wyvern?’ he asked.

‘There’s nothing sudden about it,’ Wyvern said. ‘I’ve been planning this trip for some time.’

‘Why?’

‘Oh – a change.’

‘A change from what?’

‘From routine.’

‘You don’t like routine?’

‘Yes, but I just want a change.’

‘You realise you do an important job, Mr Wyvern?’

‘Of course. I thought a change –’

‘The government doesn’t like to lose its important men.’

‘I booked return, didn’t I? I’ll be back in four days, before the next course starts at Stratton.’

‘The government doesn’t like to lose its important men even for four days.’

‘It’s getting choosy, isn’t it?’ Wyvern asked. He could feel his temper rising.

‘These are bad days, Mr Wyvern.’

‘Need we make them worse?’

‘You can still hear that bloody banging, even from here.’ Runton sighed deeply. He picked up the phone.

‘The palace,’ he said, not without a trace of irony. After a pause, he said, ‘Get me Colonel H.’ After another pause, ‘I’m Captain Runton, late of Leicester; he’ll remember.’ Later, ‘Yes, I’ll settle for his secretary.’

Finally he was put through.

‘Hello? Captain Runton here … Good. Look, we have Conrad Wyvern here … Yes, that’s him. He is being rather impolite in answer to polite questions … Yes … May I bring him over to you? … Well, for one thing, we have the decorators in here, making a lot of noise, and for another I hoped I might perhaps have the great pleasure of – er, possibly meeting Colonel H again … Oh yes, yes, I’m sure he must be … Yes, well another thing was, I hear you have a marvellous new Inquisitor up there, eh? … No, oh no, sir, that was a mild joke merely. I’m sorry. I naturally meant Questioner … Thank you.’

Runton hung up, puffing out his cheeks. Somebody at the other end of the line evidently did not love him.

‘Come on, Wyvern,’ he said heavily. ‘We’re going over to see the big chiefs at the barracks.’

It took ten minutes to drive, in a commandeered Post Office van, up to the barracks where Our Beloved Leader had been shot. It took a further twenty to get inside, by which time Captain Runton was more nervous than his captive.

Aside from his own preoccupations, Wyvern was intrigued by the Captain. The man was plainly using him as an excuse to ingratiate himself with the powers-that-be. He seemed to have nothing specific against Wyvern; the mere fact that Wyvern was someone of importance made him worth hanging on to. All of which might be very well for Runton, but was uncomfortable for Wyvern.

And now, no doubt, Runton was reflecting that if he had come on a wild-goose chase he would get, not congratulations, but a kick in the well-padded seat of his pants. And that would make him unscrupulous about getting something pinned on Wyvern. Just what would happen seemed suddenly in the hands of chance; one thing Wyvern sincerely hoped: that the State’s inter-departmental communications were poor, and that these people did not know his sister had been arrested at East Hingham.

That question at least was partly answered when they were finally allowed out of the guard room, and Runton grumbled, ‘There’s a lot of reorganisation needed here – everyone lives in watertight compartments. No government department knows what the next one is up to. You can’t get anything done.’

The barracks swarmed with soldiers and police. Tanks were drawn up in the old drill square.

‘I’d better take your handcuffs off,’ Runton said. ‘They look a bit ostentatious in here. And for God’s sake don’t try anything, or I’ll shoot you down and swear blind you were OBL’s murderer.’

‘I thought they’d already caught the killers?’ Wyvern asked, mildly surprised.

‘Hold your tongue while you’ve got the chance,’ Runton said in a sharp burst of savagery.

They passed together into the main building, where an armed guard met them and escorted them upstairs. The armed guard met them and escorted them upstairs. The guards’ hobnails clattered loudly up the stone steps. A clock at the top said nearly six. ‘Eighteen hours before my ship goes,’ Wyvern thought grimly.

They were pushed through a door on which, in still wet paint, was the legend ‘Col. H & Sec.’ Inside, the first thing that caught Wyvern’s eye was the pot of white paint itself. It stood nearly empty on a desk, the brush in it. Someone had been doing over the window casement with it, and the room stank of paint.

‘Same old Republication muddle,’ Wyvern thought, but the man in the room, Colonel H’s secretary, gave him other ideas.

The secretary was a man in his late fifties, as thin and neat as a picked chicken bone. His uniform was spotless, his white hair impeccably parted. His eyes were fish cold.

‘Oh – er, we’ve an appointment with Colonel H,’ said Runton, plainly distressed at lack of clue to rank on the secretary’s uniform.

‘Are you Conrad Wyvern?’ the secretary asked Wyvern.

‘I am.’

‘You have an appointment with Colonel H,’ the secretary said. ‘Thank you for bringing him, Captain. Have you his report there? Thank you, splendid. We will keep you no longer.’

He accepted the report and waited for Runton to shamble backwards out of the room, without once removing his gaze from Wyvern. The latter, to his chagrin, found himself fidgeting and looking down. He decided to defend by attack.

‘I am hoping to receive an official apology for the way I’ve been treated,’ he said. ‘I was handcuffed and brought here on the very flimsiest of pretexts.’

‘Our junior officers make up in enthusiasm what they lack in manners,’ the secretary said.

‘Is that supposed to be an apology?’

The secretary stood up.

‘No, it damn well isn’t,’ he said. ‘The State does not apologise. We brought you here to cross-examine you, not kiss you better. The Republic is in its early days – we can’t afford to be sentimental. Don’t you know, the road to success is paved with bruised egos like yours. If you feel badly about all this, it’s obviously because you are out of sympathy with us. Why are you out of sympathy with us, Wyvern?’

‘I don’t think –’ Wyvern said, then lapsed into silence. It was hardly an answerable question.

‘You are an important man, Wyvern – or you could be. You should be a member of the Party, Wyvern. Why aren’t you a member of the Party, Wyvern?’ He used the name as if it were a dirty word.

‘I’m busy – teaching your young men.’

‘And?’

‘Well, it’s a full-time job.’

‘You get four or five days break between each course, don’t you?’