Notorious Rake, Innocent Lady

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, recognising the intensity of the need mirrored in his gaze. He wanted her. His eyes said it. His body said it. She was sharply alert to the intimacy of his lap, the thinness of the silk fabric. She had only to turn her head slightly to encounter the full dimension of his rock-hard manhood. Julia thought of the orange slice, of its slightly phallus-like shape, of sucking the juice from it. Would Paine like that? The look in his eyes suggested he would. Hesitantly, Julia turned her head. She parted her lips and mouthed him through his trousers.

Paine gave a sharp gasp at the contact. She drew back, worried the idea wasn’t to his liking after all. ‘Don’t stop, Julia, don’t stop,’ he pleaded, a gentle hand urging her head back to his straining member.

Julia was giddy with power. She sucked hard until Paine made no effort to confine his satisfaction to groans, but gave full vent to his enjoyment with loud cries.

‘Julia, pull it out, let me be in you.’ He panted, close to his end.

Julia found the hidden slit in his trousers and pulled free the swollen member, slick with its own juices. Her hand clenched about its tip, revelling in what she had wrought. She reached over his head for the trifle box he’d used last night and rummaged quickly for a sheath.

‘Now, straddle me, Julia.’ Paine instructed, helping her to roll the thin sheath over his sex. ‘Take me inside you and ride.’

Julia lowered herself on to him, exhaling in wonderment as she slid on him. He was so large, much larger than she’d thought last night. Yet he fit perfectly, filling up the space inside her. She began her motions and he joined her in a seamless rocking rhythm that teased her, then ultimately fulfilled her as she found the place she’d found last night, soaring in Paine’s arms. He drew her down to him as he shuddered his own release, muffling his cries in her shoulder.

They lay together, their breathing slowing in unison as the initial power of climaxing ebbed. Julia wanted to stay clasped against him, warm and sated in his arms, for ever. Reality intruded. If she moved, breakfast would be over. She would have to go. But she no longer wanted to.

She wanted to stay. She wanted to feel this pleasure he’d awoken in her again and again. She didn’t imagine such pleasure could be found with Oswalt. She fought a shudder. The horror of doing such intimate things with him escalated against the backdrop of what she’d shared with Paine Ramsden.

‘Are you cold?’ Paine reached for a throw to wrap about them, misinterpreting the reason for her shudder.

Julia searched for a way to prolong the moment, the minutes of their time together. ‘You have not answered my question yet.’

‘Mmm.’ Paine breathed into her hair sounding like a well contented man. ‘There are studies, sutras, in India that teach men and women about sexual congress. Each person has a different task, a different function in the act. There are such teachings in China as well. Remember my cabinet with the yin and yang symbol?’ He shifted Julia to the side and wrapped an arm about her, warming to his subject. She waited for him to continue, her curiosity getting the better of her at the idea of such studies.

‘In China, the man is the yin and the woman is the yang. It’s the man’s task, through lovemaking, to make the woman give up her essence, her yang, without losing his own yin to attain it. When a woman climaxes, her essence is surrendered.’

Julia punched him in the shoulder. ‘That sounds completely arrogant and not so enjoyable for the man if he can’t—what did you call it? Climax?’ She tried out the new word.

‘That’s the whole point,’ Paine instructed. ‘Attaining a woman’s yang without climaxing yourself makes you strong and it increases your life. It’s the mark of a skilled male to be able to claim such discipline. There’s tales of men being able to have congress with up to fourteen women before releasing their yin.’

Julia levered up on one arm and searched his face quizzically. ‘Last night, and just now, did you, uh, steal my yang, as it were?’ She’d felt that he’d held back nothing, as had she. It would be a private disappointment to learn she’d been cheated in a fashion.

Paine smiled. ‘No, my enchantress. I gave up as much as I took.’ Paine folded his arms behind his head.

‘So you’ve taken my virginity and I’ve taken your immortality,’ Julia said drily.

Paine chuckled. ‘I suppose so, but chances are I was mortal already. Those are old teachings. Some say they go back to the third century before Christ. Since then, the Chinese have shifted their focus. They discovered that denying women the yin denied men their heirs. Now, the sexual teachings have been adapted to be more cooperative in their outcome, much more similar to India.’

‘Oh, no stealing of essences there, then?’ Julia probed, utterly enthralled by such talk.

‘No stealing, only giving. In Hinduism—that’s the primary religion in India—sexual intercourse is seen as a metaphor for a relationship with the gods. Sex is spiritual and sacred.’

‘I think I prefer the Indian way.’ The words were out of her mouth before she could rethink the wisdom of them. She regretted it immediately.

Paine would think she meant something by them, something altogether much more personal than she intended their dealings to be. To cover her silliness, she sat up, letting her hair fall over her shoulders. She made no move to shove it back from her face. Its curtain obscured her face, which was just as well. She had what she came for—she was thoroughly ruined by now and fully instructed in more than she’d bargained for. Such knowledge made it hard to leave, knowing that she’d find no outlet for it in the English world.

It was past time to go and Paine Ramsden did not strike her as a man who responded well to womanly whines. Even in her na?vety, she knew he would be a hard man to hold. He did nothing for the sake of tradition and protocol. He operated by an entirely different standard of rules. The rumours about him had been right in that respect, although much else she’d heard did not ring true with what she’d experienced. She should put on her dress and be gone with all the dignity she could find.

Chapter Five

Julia crossed the room to the forgotten gown they’d tussled over in the early morning. She hazarded a covert glance at Paine while she slipped into her undergarments. He had levered himself up on one arm, his shirt open, his dark hair dishevelled. The sight of such blatant, post-coital masculinity studying her every move as she dressed was potent. Julia felt her blood fire at the sight.

‘What are you doing, Julia?’ he drawled.

‘Dressing.’

‘I can see that. But to what purpose? I will simply undress you again.’

‘Paine, I am leaving.’ A rush of anxiety filled her. Would he let her leave? Would he renege on their agreement? ‘You promised me I could go.’

‘I promised you could go if you wanted to. Do you want to?’ Paine replied with apparent nonchalance.

‘The world often demands we act beyond our selfish wants,’ Julia parried, pulling on her stockings, recalling with clarity how they’d come to be off her legs. Would she remember that every time she pulled on stockings for the rest of her life?

‘Does it, Julia? What do you hope to gain by going back that you haven’t already gained?’ Paine gained his feet and strode to her side, his deft hands taking over the working of the buttons at the back of her gown.

‘I have to go back and tell them the betrothal is off,’ Julia stammered. The heat of his hands provided a very real distraction as they skimmed her back.

‘I would think that would be obvious to them by your absence.’ Paine chuckled, finishing the buttons. His hands rode at her waist, easing her back against his chest so that she was fitted along his length and his arms encircled her. ‘Nothing but sorrow awaits you there. For a woman who seemed to have thought everything through so thoroughly, I am surprised you haven’t realised that yet. Even if you break the betrothal with your announcement, they will not let you go again. They’ll punish you, pack you off to the country at best. At worst, they will cast you out without a penny or force you into marriage with an unsuspecting dolt from the country just to get you off their hands. They’ll have to find a way to countenance your dishonour.’

‘I know. I have resigned myself to that,’ Julia said stoically, although accepting those consequences was going to be far more difficult now after Paine’s education than it was in her imaginings yesterday when she’d concocted her mad scheme. ‘Regardless, they’ll be worried about me. I owe them the courtesy of letting them know I am well.’

‘Worried about themselves is more likely,’ Paine drawled with cynicism. ‘Don’t delude yourself. You cannot simply waltz back home and put paid to the contract.’

His scepticism fired her temper. She didn’t like to be laughed at. ‘How dare you speak of them like that! You don’t know them at all. You’ve never even met them.’ To her embarrassment, her lip quivered and she fought back the urge to cry in her despair.

Her aunt and uncle weren’t cruel, only desperate, and, in their desperation, they’d made some poor choices. But surely they would forgive her and see reason. When Gray’s ship docked, everything would be put to rights without Oswalt’s money.

The thought encouraged her. She shook her head and straightened her shoulders resolutely. ‘My aunt and uncle aren’t ogres, Paine. They’re merely misguided. Whatever they do to me, it’ll be better than marriage to Oswalt. I made my choices and I’ll abide by them.’