For a Baby

“Yeah. We both like sex.”

She closed her eyes briefly. She was losing her patience with him, yet he couldn’t stop himself from goading her further.

“Redheads are hot in the sack.”

“Stop it, T.J. I know what you’re trying to do. And it won’t work this time. I am not going to lose my temper with you.”

“Aw. Why not?”

“Because I think we should consider getting married.”

FOR THE THIRD TIME IN AN HOUR, T.J. was stunned into silence. He looked at the tuna sandwiches on the ground between them. Neither one of them had taken a bite of the lunch Heather had packed.

The sun felt so hot on his shoulders. He should have picked a spot in the shade. Heather wasn’t wearing a hat. She would burn. Taking his cap from the ground beside him, he placed it lightly on her head.

How should he react to that last statement of hers? He could tell she was on pins and needles with the waiting.

“Was that a proposal?” he finally asked.

She looked different in his cap. Younger, sportier. But still cute as ever.

“Yeah. I guess it was.”

And she sounded real thrilled about it, too. “Were you listening to me earlier? I’ve tried the husband/father thing and I sucked at it. Big time. You deserve better.”

If he’d thought he was going to get out of it that easy, he should have known better.

“This isn’t about what I deserve, T.J. And it sure as hell isn’t about what I want, or you want. Like it or not, this baby is yours.”

Well, he’d already made it plain he didn’t like it.

“You should have told me the truth that night.”

“Yes, I should have. And you can go on blaming me for the rest of our lives if that makes you feel better. But that doesn’t change the reality of the situation. This is our baby, T.J.” She touched her flat stomach protectively. “And I plan to keep it.”

“I know you do. But you don’t need me to marry you to do that.”

IN FACT, SHE DID. Heather was surprised T.J. was so slow on the uptake. He’d lived in Chatsworth long enough to know this town and the people who lived here.

“I am an elementary-schoolteacher, T.J. I’m in a position of enormous trust, and carry a lot of influence over the young kids of this town. I know most of their parents wouldn’t approve of the example I would set if I had this child on my own. Even I wouldn’t approve…”

“Heather, people will understand. You’re a good person.”

“I’d like to think so. But judging from my actions these past few months, I have to wonder.” Actually, she’d expected T.J. to be angrier that she’d deceived him about her birth control. She, herself, was so ashamed. Yes, she wanted to be pregnant. But not this way.

“You’re being too hard on yourself again. And underestimating the terrible power of my sexual magnetism.”

Lord, T.J. could sound so arrogant at times. But she wasn’t deceived. She knew he was trying to make her feel better.

“Look, Heather, I’m flattered you’d consider marrying me. I know we’ve had kind of a…checkered history, the two of us. But there’s got to be another solution. Some other guy you know who’d make a great husband and dad.”

Yeah, she knew someone like that, all right. Russell Matthew.

“I wouldn’t have asked you T.J. if I thought I had other options.” Oh, no. That hadn’t come out sounding very nice. “This is your baby,” she reminded him.

“You’re sure?”

“T.J.!”

“Well, since I’ve been back in town, I’ve seen you with quite a few different guys.”

“I may date occasionally, but I’m pretty discriminating about who I go to bed with.” In a low tone she added, “Present company excluded.”

T.J. started to laugh, then abruptly stopped. She supposed the cold reality of the situation was finally getting to him.

“Well, what do you say?” she pressed. “Don’t make me ask again.”

“I’m just worried you’re going to be sorry you asked the first time.” T.J. put her sandwiches back into the saddlebag. He stood, dusting grass bits from the back of his jeans. “I’ve got to be going. I have a delivery to make.”

She scrambled after him, gave him back his cap, then did her best to shake his shirt clean.

“Don’t worry about a little dirt.” He took the shirt from her hands and slipped it over his head, then replaced his sunglasses.

She couldn’t help thinking what a good-looking man he was. Dark hair, blue eyes, the kind of skin that tans instantly in the sun and always looks healthy. In terms of physical appearance, T. J. Collins had much to offer their child.

Too bad he didn’t have what really counted.

Commitment. Love. The willingness to put another’s interests above his own.

“I should have known you’d never go for this.” She picked up the saddlebag and heaved it over her shoulder. As she turned to walk away, though, he stopped her.

“Why don’t you come to my place tonight for dinner? I’ll show you something. After, you let me know if you still want me to be the daddy of your baby.”

HEATHER PEDALED BACK SLOWLY along dusty Willow Road. The heat was stifling now. She wished she’d thought to take a dip in the lake before heading home. At least her meeting with T.J. was over. She’d been dreading it since the doctor’s appointment three weeks ago when her pregnancy was officially confirmed.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about T.J.’s reaction. That he wasn’t jumping up and down at the opportunity to marry her didn’t surprise her. She knew she had a way of getting on his nerves.

Yet, she couldn’t deny that he had been the person to help her during the hardest period of her life. Though he’d be the last to admit it, he’d been kind and thoughtful to her during those lonely months when she was pregnant and afraid in Saskatoon. And he’d kept his promise not to tell. As far as she knew, Adrienne, T.J. and her parents were the only ones in town who knew that she’d had a child and given it up for adoption.

Well, Russell and Julie knew now, too. Two falls ago, when Russell had moved his family back to Chatsworth and she’d been faced with his presence every day at work, something inside her had cracked. The old pain of giving up her baby had returned, until finally she’d confessed the truth.

Russ had been shocked at first, but eventually he’d come to accept what she had done. And he’d agreed with her decision not to try to track down their child. She’d picked out the parents. The father was a pediatrician, the mother was willing to stay home full-time. They were good people. Their baby would be happy.

Then Julie had become pregnant with their second child, and Russell’s focus had shifted inward, toward his family once more. Heather had tried not to be resentful. Or to wonder what might have happened had she told Russ she was pregnant before he’d asked Julie to marry him.

Old questions. Old heartbreaks. She was sick of them. This baby inside her represented her future. She wasn’t going to live in the past anymore.

She wondered how T.J. planned to convince her he wouldn’t be a good marital risk. She doubted he could come up with anything to change her mind. He was pretty much her last option anyway.