First that rocket at Waterloo. Then his engagement. Now this whole blasted arrangement with Emma. Despite the supposedly impersonal nature of their marriage, she was slowly working her way under his skin, under his scars. If not deeper.
Infatuation was dangerous enough. It must stop here. If he allowed her in, Fate would surely laugh in his face. His own heart would backfire, explode to shrapnel, and he’d be as destroyed inside as he was without.
She had to leave his room at once. And he must lock her out, in every way.
He made one last attempt, his voice dark and stern. “Go. Now. Before I use you in ways you don’t want to be used.”
She swept a gaze over him, biting her bottom lip. “It’s not being used if I want it, too.”
He gave up. It was over. Brute lust overruled his every emotion, intention, and thought. She’d made her bed, and he meant to take her six different ways on it. Tomorrow the servants could collect what pieces remained.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Chapter Seventeen (#ulink_b28cb8da-7165-5cd2-b6bc-6e5b6060536c)
Emma scarcely had time to draw breath before he’d caught her up, backing her against a bedpost. His hands went straight to her bottom, lifting her so that her pelvis was level with his. His eyes locked with hers, too.
Would he kiss her?
She closed her eyes, hopeful. She’d been yearning to feel his kiss on her lips again, and to return it with passion.
She did feel his mouth—not on her lips, but on her neck. He dipped his head, running his tongue downward, tracing a path to her breasts.
The bedpost at her back was uncomfortable, its carved embellishments digging into her flesh, and his hands had her bottom in a fierce grip . . . but she didn’t care. The pain only sweetened the pleasure as he nuzzled and kissed. He grazed her nipples with his teeth, drawing from her a startled gasp of delight.
Emboldened, she worked her arm between them, delving into his trousers to find the thick, hard length within. Oh, she’d been dying to touch him there. To explore his maleness and understand how it worked. How it gave her so much pleasure, and how she could give him pleasure in return.
She let her fingertips wander the full length and breadth of his arousal, tracing each ridge and vein. Caressing, teasing. She circled her thumb around the velvety tip, spreading the drop of moisture that welled there.
He groaned with pleasure. “Take it in your hand.”
She curled her fingers, grasping his rigid shaft at the root. He was so thick and hard, the circle formed by her thumb and second finger didn’t quite meet. She dragged her grip slowly upward, sliding his soft, pliant skin over the steely column beneath. As she began the downstroke, he thrust into her hand.
His eyes closed. “God.”
He swelled even harder in her hand, and she licked her lips. Her mind was fuzzy. Her skin flushed with roving patches of heat.
He jerked free of her grip and spun her away from him, positioning her to face the bedpost. He bent her forward at the waist and placed her hands on the tall column of carved wood.
“Hold it,” he said.
She gripped the post tight.
That accomplished, he nudged her legs further apart. Emma felt exposed, almost on display—and apparently that was his aim. He spread her intimate places with his fingers, opening her to his view. Her embarrassment was mollified—somewhat—with the sound of satisfaction he made. His thumb slid over her creases and folds, making them soften and swell.
“Please,” she said. “Please. I want . . . You know what I want.”
“If you want my cock, then tell me so.” His length teased her as he rocked back and forth on his heels. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I can’t.”
“You can. After all, it’s in Hamlet.”
It wasn’t Shakespeare’s permission Emma needed. She didn’t know how to explain it, but she felt more comfortable having his male organ inside her than speaking its crude name with her lips. In lovemaking, she could pretend her actions belonged to someone else. Someone bolder, more seductive. Words, however . . . they were inescapably hers.
That was the source of her reluctance to say it. Now she wondered if it was also the reason he wanted to hear it. To know the desire was sincere, and wholly hers. She supposed he deserved that much.
“I . . .” She closed her eyes. “I want your cock.”
He grunted with approval. “Then you shall have it. All of it.”
He lifted her by the hips and slid into her, filling her with one blissful inch after another. She gripped the bedpost, pushing back against him until her thighs met his. He began to move in a slow, steady rhythm.
“Do you feel that?” His thrusts gained pace. “That’s what you do to me. How hard you make me. I’ve been wanting this. Every time you’ve teased me, defied me, given me that arch little smile, I’ve wanted to bend you over and teach you a lesson.”
She clutched the bedpost for balance as he drove into her, making her breasts sway with each thrust.
“I lived in the grip of laudanum. I know what it is to crave. To tremble with wanting, be ruled by need. It nearly destroyed me. This is worse. There’s no respite. As soon as I leave your bed, I’m counting the hours until the next night.”
He pulled her hips higher, forcing her to balance on her toes.
“Sometimes,” he panted, “even in the middle of the day, I have to lock the library door and stroke my own cock, spending into a handkerchief like a randy youth. And it’s still not enough. It’s never enough.”
There was an angry edge to his words, and a brutish quality to his rhythm—as though he wanted her to be sorry for driving him mad with lust. Well, Emma had no intention of apologizing. His growled confessions were the best things she’d ever heard. She only hoped she could remember them long enough to write them all down in her diary tomorrow.
She felt his forehead rest against her shoulder, feverish and damp with sweat. He put one hand over hers on the bedpost, bracing his weight, and then reached with the other to touch her between her thighs. Circling his fingertips just where she needed it, just where he knew it would break her apart.
All the while, he took her in forceful thrusts. It was animal and uncivilized and she was wild with arousal. Her body quivered as he drove her toward the most devastating orgasm of her life. She couldn’t hide from it, couldn’t hold back. When the pleasure caught her, she came in racking, tearless sobs. She forgot where she was, who she was.
But he hadn’t kept his promise to tup her senseless. Not quite. Her awareness of him only heightened. She sensed the heat of his body, heard the harsh rasps of his breath, breathed the earthy musk of his skin, felt the iron length of his cock at the center of her.
“God,” he choked out. “God. Emma.”
A thrill shot through her as he called her name. Even in the mindless fury of joining, he hadn’t forgotten her, either.
A ragged groan signaled his crisis. Then it was only stillness and quiet and dark and labored breath.
After several moments, he kissed the top of her head. His arm tightened around her middle, drawing her close. “Tell me you’re not too scandalized.”
She smiled to herself. “I’m scandalized the perfect amount, thank you. But my thighs are jelly.”
He helped her onto the bed, and they collapsed in a tangle of sweaty limbs.
“Well,” he said, “that was a delightful first course.”
“First course? Of how many?”
“Depends on how hungry I am.”