Scarlett and Jackie grinned at each other over Izzie’s head as she resurfaced, and Scarlett’s grin faded as that inexplicable ache started up in her chest again. She forced the smile to return and said as lightly as she could manage, ‘I spent a little time getting to know Lizzie better over the past few months. We exchanged some emails and spent some time together in Melbourne one weekend.’
Scarlett and her eldest sister had sort of bonded. ‘I wish I’d connected with her a lot sooner. We were both living in Australia. It would have been nice—’ She broke off, not wanting to make Jackie feel left out.
When she searched her sister’s face, Scarlett couldn’t help but comment on something else she’d noticed about Jackie. ‘You have a real glow about you, Jackie. Every time you fall silent your face gets this soft look.’
It was as though when her sister disappeared inside her own thoughts, whatever she found in there lit her up like a thousand candles all burning at once.
‘Romano’s a big part of the reason for that, of course.’ Jackie’s smile was indeed soft and glowing as she spoke of him, but it wasn’t…all that Scarlett had seen in her sister.
‘But Romano tells me the same thing any time I’ve been to visit with our daughter or we’ve had her over to spend time with us.’ Jackie’s mouth softened and love and happiness poured out of her. ‘We know we can’t take the place of the parents who’ve raised her. We wouldn’t try. We’re thrilled that Kate has been happy!
‘But Kate has such a generous heart. She’s let us in, let us be a second set of people who love her. I’m so happy to finally have even a “piece” of my daughter. The only problem is one of her sets of adopted grandparents. They’re having a hard time accepting me, or Romano, as part of Kate’s life.’
A fierce expression crossed Jackie’s face. ‘I wouldn’t trade anything for having Kate back in my life, and just let anyone try to get in the way of that. I’m being polite but if anyone messed this up for me now and somehow took Kate out of my life again, I’d never forgive it.’
She cast a horrified glance at Scarlett. ‘I didn’t mean that to sound as though I can’t—’
Forgive Scarlett for taking Kate out of her life?
‘It’s all right.’ Scarlett’s tummy twisted. ‘I understand what you meant.’
But why shouldn’t Jackie be angry anyway? And stay that way for as long as she wanted? Maybe never truly be able to forgive Scarlett way deep down where it mattered? Scarlett was the one whom Jackie had entrusted many years ago with a letter to Romano telling him about her pregnancy. And Scarlett had let that letter go into the river and never told…
Jackie bit her lip. ‘I’m so happy. A part of me sometimes fears I could lose it all again. It’s just that I don’t think I could cope with that.’
‘It won’t happen, Jackie. Of course it won’t.’ It was Izzie who reached out and took Jackie’s hand, who held it and seemed able to keep Jackie’s words in some kind of perspective that Scarlett, in this moment, tried to but couldn’t.
All Scarlett could do was feel her sister’s loss, deep down inside her soul, and acknowledge that loss was her, Scarlett’s, fault. She’d run from truly acknowledging that for a long time.
Izzie went on. ‘Kate loves you way too much to let that happen. You have to remember she’s a grown-up girl with a mind of her own, just like you.’
Jackie shook her head as though to shake the dark thoughts away. ‘I know. I get silly over it sometimes, too protective of what I’ve been given back, I guess.’
Izzie nodded. ‘And you’ve had a lot of emotional ground to cover, getting back together with Romano after all this time as well, him learning of Kate’s existence.’
And Jackie having to deal with being told that Scarlett and Izzie had caused all those barren years in her life by throwing her letter away that day instead of delivering it as Jackie had asked Scarlett to do.
A part of Scarlett wanted, quite desperately, to climb out of the swimming pool, claim some urgent and only just remembered prior engagement or something, and…run away. But she’d done that once already, had run all the way to Australia.
She’d gone to see her father. To get to know her father.
No, Scarlett. You ran away from the emotional upheaval of what you’d done. Getting to know Dad, being loved by him, was an unanticipated bonus.
‘I’ve got some lovely photos of Kate, Scarlett.’ Animation swept back into Jackie’s face as she said this.
Beyond them, the door of the nearest building swung open and a small group of men stepped out. Scarlett’s glance caught on one of them, half hidden from her view behind the others.
She was dreaming up Lorenzo’s presence everywhere. Just because whoever that was was dark-haired and had a slender build and looked about the same height. Oh, maybe she just felt too overwhelmed in too many ways at the moment. And she couldn’t just ignore what Jackie had said.
Scarlett had to stop this nonsense, otherwise Jackie might start to think she wasn’t happy for her and that truly would be awful. ‘Izzie mentioned that you’d got some great photos of–of—Kate.’
‘I’d like you to see them.’ Jackie’s eyes softened. ‘At least that way you can start to feel as though you know her a little. Do you know, I can see Romano in her eyes and the shape of her nose.’
Jackie went on, enthusing about her daughter’s physical features. To hear Jackie tell it, her daughter was the most beautiful girl ever to exist.
It hurt Scarlett to hear it, even though it made her happy for Jackie, too. ‘I’d…love to see the photos, Jackie.’ What else could she say?
‘I’ll put a CD together for you.’ Jackie glanced towards the approaching men and raised her voice. ‘Romano. Come swim!’ She started to swim towards the other end of the pool to greet the love of her life.
Izzie laid her hand on Scarlett’s arm. ‘Are you okay, Scarlett? Jackie’s fine, you know. She’s bound to have these moments, but you heard her. Her life is so happy overall.’
‘I can see that.’ And Scarlett was happy for Jackie for that. Of course she was. ‘But she’s also dealing with old grief, and with feelings about family that you and I can only try to understand. She’s got a very generous heart, to be able or even willing to brush aside my part in all that the way she is.’
‘And mine.’ Isabella’s face tightened. ‘I was as much to blame.’
‘Not really. I’m the one Jackie entrusted that letter to.’
Isabella drew a breath and the tension faded from her face. She raised her arm to wave. ‘Lorenzo, I didn’t know you were out here. Come join us.’
Scarlett froze. She wanted to look, but she didn’t want him to know that she was interested.
Excuse me, you’re not interested!
But Scarlett turned her head just as there was a quiet splash. And there was Lorenzo slicing through the water towards them. Vaguely, Scarlett registered Romano and Jackie and another man in the water at the other end of the pool, talking. And Isabella talking.
‘We should do this more often, Scarlett. I could talk to Jackie about another visit here.’ Isabella’s voice went on.
But Scarlett wasn’t really listening. And all she could see was Lorenzo. Bare-chested, his lithe body slicing through the water as he moved with neat strokes until he surfaced at their end of the pool, a little to Isabella’s left.
He seemed…more comfortable with his body nowadays. Maybe maturity had brought that to him? Because back then he’d never liked to swim publicly, or even take his shirt off in front of others. He’d hated Scarlett to even see it if he’d had one of his spills and had a bruise or a scratch. At other times he’d been fine…
‘Scarlett? Did you hear me?’ Izzie asked the question in a puzzled tone.
What her cousin might have said prior to that, well, actually Scarlett had no idea. ‘Sorry, Izzie?’ Scarlett dredged her mind. ‘Oh, yes, it would be fun to come here again.’ The pool was shaded with beautiful trees and the whole complex was set halfway up a quiet hillside with a beautiful view over a lush green valley.
Scarlett had to act normally. She had already seemed quite out of it to her cousin. And she could be normal around Lorenzo. Of course she could. He was just a man!
He’s the man you had an affair with five years ago when he was still married.
Well, yes, but Scarlett hadn’t known about that until it was too late.
And she didn’t have those feelings about him any more. Being in his company simply made her uneasy because of past history, that was all.
‘Hello, Lorenzo.’ There. You see? She sounded perfectly normal.
Scarlett’s hand rose to pat at the ribbon in her hair. It got halfway to its goal before she stopped herself and let her arm fall back into the water.
It wasn’t helping that Lorenzo was practically naked, and look how tanned he was, and muscular, and he was wearing the medallion…