Fit To Be Frisked: Fit To Be Frisked / Mr. Cool Under Fire

“I don’t have to take this abuse from you, lady,” Vance flared.

“Of course you do. You invite abuse and it would be rude of you not to accept it,” she sniped at him.

When Vance bounded from his chair and Miranda stamped forward to confront him—nose to nose and toe to toe—Tate pounded his fist on the desk, demanding attention.

“Park it, both of you,” he boomed. “Let’s not allow a minor infraction to escalate into World War Three, shall we?”

“She fined me for stupidity!” Vance roared as he plunked into his chair. “How professional is that?”

Miranda swallowed uneasily when the chief’s gaze zeroed in on her. Okay, so that wasn’t very professional of her, she’d admit it. But this handsome hunk of cowboy had ticked her off royally. She couldn’t say exactly what there was about him that got her hackles up. It was just a knee-jerk reaction. She was intensely aware of him and this ridiculous attraction made her megadefensive.

“You fined him for stupidity?” Tate repeated incredulously.

“He deliberately provoked me. Plus, I should have arrested him for sexual harassment,” she blurted out. “He tried to flirt with me to get out of the warning and ticket.”

“That’s a mistake I’ll never make again, believe you me, lady. I’ve met rattlers with better dispositions.” Vance crossed his arms over his broad chest and glared laser beams at her. “You can’t take a joke worth a flip, either.”

She let him have it with both barrels blazing—figuratively speaking of course. “And you don’t have enough brains under that dirty cowboy hat to know when to be serious and not come on to a female officer.”

Vance scowled at her. “I resent that dumb cowboy comment.”

“Enough already!” Tate blared as he vaulted to his feet. His thick chest swelled like a bullfrog as he glowered first at Vance then at Miranda. He sucked in a steadying breath then appraised the two antagonists who were glaring each other down like gunfighters at twenty paces.

It was a long moment before he said, “First off, Miranda, fining a man for stupidity, even if he deserves it, won’t hold up in traffic court and you know it.”

Vance smiled so smugly at her that she gnashed her teeth, crossed her arms and glanced the other way.

“Secondly,” Tate continued, “flirting with a law official is inappropriate and you know it, Vance.”

So there, thought Miranda, wishing she could childishly stick out her tongue at that cocky cowboy. He would never have gotten to first base with her anyway. No matter how attractive he was—in a rugged, back country sort of way—he wasn’t her type. If he’d come on to her while she was dressed in civilian clothes she would have made use of her years of tae kwon do instruction and left him flat on his butt, gasping for breath.

“Now then,” Tate said as he dropped back to his chair to drum his beefy fingers on the desk. “I’m not going to react rashly, which is apparently what you both did during the altercation this morning. I’m going to give this situation some thought before I decide how to handle it.”

“Sounds fair to me, Uncle Tate,” she took grand satisfaction in saying.

“Uncle Tate?” Vance hooted, owl-eyed.

When Tate Jackson nodded, Vance wilted back in his chair and inwardly groaned. He was sunk for sure. Tate was usually a fair man. But coming from a close-knit family himself, Vance always stood behind his cousins when trouble arose. True, Vance and his cousins, even the absentee Gage Ryder, delighted in razzing each other until hell wouldn’t have it. But when the chips were down they became the Four Musketeers. All for one and all that jazz.

No doubt, Tate felt the same connection to his niece, even if Ms. Serious Britches was aloof, defensive and snippy. She also seemed to crave a position of authority so she could lord over the males of the species.

No question about it, Tate would side with Miranda and Vance would be doing time in the slammer, just because of his clunker truck and a harmless prank. Wouldn’t that be a fun way to spend his upcoming birthday?

“You will both report back to my office at ten o’clock sharp on Saturday,” Tate decreed. “That will give you three days to cool down. In addition, you will abide by whatever decision I make concerning the incident. Agreed?”

“Yes, Chief,” Miranda said so sweetly that Vance feared he’d hurl his lunch.

“Fine, Chief,” Vance muttered, knowing he was doomed.

Tate couldn’t possibly be impartial where his gorgeous but prickly niece was concerned. Vance would have to turn all his ranch duties over to Cousins Q and W while he rotted away in the calaboose. If he was lucky, maybe Stephanie would deliver meals from her restaurant and Laura could drop off some reading material from the high school where she taught. Yup, Tate would pretend to think it over for three days, but he’d still lower the boom on Vance.

Tate’s niece, for crying out loud! No wonder the trigger-happy lady cop hadn’t been booted off the force already.

“Now, both of you scram, I have a pile of reports to fill out,” Tate grumbled as he stared at his cluttered desk. “And try to stay out of each other’s way and out of trouble. Please.”

Vance nodded grimly as he surged from his chair. However, he was too consumed by frustration to notice the chief’s wry smile or detect the snicker he camouflaged with a cough. Obviously Chief Jackson found the situation highly entertaining.

It took considerable restraint on Vance’s part not to breeze through the door and let it slam in Miranda’s face. Instead he bowed like the gentleman his mother instructed him to be and swept his arm forward. “After you, Officer Jackson.”

“Thank you, Mr. Ryder,” she replied in the same overly polite tone.

Vance decided that he’d made a tactical error by permitting the knockout female in uniform to precede him down the hall. He had to stare at her shapely backside and the mesmerizing glide of her hips. The unruly man in him wanted to let loose with a wolf whistle, but the sensible side of his brain kept chanting that this was the very last female on the planet that he wanted to be physically attracted to. The only thing the woman had going for her, as far as he was concerned, was her alluring looks. Unfortunately her attitude and personality worked as effectively as the pesticide he needed to spray on his pastures this afternoon.

Vance made a mental note to warn his cousins to take a wide berth around Officer Miranda Jackson, lest they ended up in his position. Since she was the chief’s niece, the townsfolk were obviously stuck with her. The thought was almost enough to make Vance consider selling his ranch and taking up residence beyond this bombshell of a barracuda’s legal jurisdiction.

DRIVING THE JALOPY TRUCK that now boasted new tires and a muffler that didn’t leave a vapor trail of fumes, Vance headed to his ranch. This time he could plainly see the patrol car trailing him because he’d taken time to wash the truck—as ordered by the High Priestess of the police department—the previous day. Vance was certain the reign of terror had only begun in Owl County. That vindictive lady cop was out to get him, no doubt about it.

“Damn,” he muttered when lights flashed behind him.

What was it this time? he wondered sourly. Expired license tag? Naw, that was too easy. Leave it to Miranda Jackson to dig up some obscure vehicle code and stick it to him, despite what her dear uncle had said about mutual avoidance at yesterday’s meeting.

Swearing under his breath, Vance waited for Miranda to climb from her car and approach him. He couldn’t muster the good-natured smile he usually wore as he studied her in the side mirror. This female brought out the worst in him.

When she strode up to the truck he flung up his hands in supplication. “Guilty as charged. Just write me up.”

“I’m not going to give you a ticket,” she said, surprising the hell out of him.

“So, what’s the problem now? Surely you aren’t pulling me over to chitchat. I got the distinct impression that you don’t have much use for me, judging by our yelling match in the chief’s office yesterday.” He smiled goadingly. “Oh, excuse me, make that Uncle Tate’s office.”

Her chin came up as she whipped off her mirrored sunglasses to give him the full benefit of her death-ray glare. “Look, Mr. Ryder, I only stopped you to apologize for losing my temper at headquarters. I overreacted. It was unprofessional and it’s never happened before. For some reason you rub me the wrong way.”

“Well, not to worry, Randi,” he said, knowing it would probably irritate her to be addressed by an abbreviated form of her name. “I’m not planning to rub you the right way, either. Far as I’m concerned, the less we see of each other the better.”

“My sentiments exactly,” she gritted out. “You obey the laws around here and there will be no reason whatsoever for us to engage in conversation…”

Her voice trailed off when Wade Ryder drove by and honked his horn. A few moments later Quint whizzed by, waving and grinning. Vance pulled his Resistol hat down on his forehead, slumped on the seat and cursed colorfully. No doubt, his demon cousins would taunt him unmercifully when he met them at the ranch to begin their afternoon chores.

“If you’re through with me, officer, I have work to do.”

“I’m definitely through with you,” she announced, stepping away from the window. “I will abide by whatever decision the chief makes about our…um…incident.”

“Ditto,” Vance said, “but I expect to get the short end of the stick since you’ve got family and professional connections.”

He watched her thrust back her shoulders and jerk up her chin. His gaze immediately dipped to her well-endowed chest. It was beyond comprehension that he found this female so damn attractive when she bugged the hell out of him. She was so distant and reserved that he had the ridiculous urge to draw a reaction from her—like tormenting a guard at Buckingham Palace until he snapped.

Vance had never had a problem relating to people or dealing with women. Normally he got along with everyone—male and female alike—because it was his objective in life to draw out a smile. He joked around, enjoyed making folks laugh and he tried not to take himself, or the world, too seriously.

He’d learned that technique after getting his heart crammed into a meat grinder by Shawna Karmody a few years back. Since that humiliating affair Vance enjoyed the company of women, enjoyed casual sexual gratification and used corny jokes and playful pranks to remain at an emotional arm’s length.