The Forever Man

Johanna smiled at the younger boy, and then the smile faded as she looked up at the children’s father. His brow pulling into a frown, he bent to view the three of them.

“Everything all right, Johanna? The preacher’s coming back in. Are you about ready?”

Was she ready? Heaven knew she needed a boost of strength from somewhere. She’d just been rejected by Tate’s eldest boy, and that on top of the nervous stomach she’d been struggling with all morning. And now it didn’t feel as if her legs were going to hold her upright.

Her lips curved into a shaky smile. “I’m fine, Tate.” Liar, her heart cried.

His hand enclosed hers, and he tugged her gently to her feet, then led her to the altar where the minister waited.

“Last chance to back out, Johanna,” he said so that no one else could hear.

Johanna thought of the cows he’d milked this morning, the hay he’d forked into the mangers. She remembered the easy way he’d carried furniture yesterday, his words of thanks as she served his supper. She envisioned the task of climbing a ladder to pick apples, imagined trying to tend to the herd of cattle all winter, when the west wind blew snow from the big lake. And then she swallowed her doubts as she accepted the hand he offered her.

His arm slid from around her waist, and he clasped her fingers within his own. It would be all right, she decided. It was a good bargain, this marriage she’d agreed to. Taking a deep breath, she fixed her gaze on Theodore Hughes, watching him open the small book he’d drawn from his pocket. His smile was encouraging as he lifted the cover and turned carefully to a page he’d marked beforehand. With one more long look at the couple facing him, he took a breath and began.

“Dearly beloved…”

Chapter Five (#ulink_064050d3-201c-54b6-9c61-186046ab51a5)

“I thought you’d told Pete we were going to be married today.” She hadn’t been able to look Tate fully in the face since the ceremony, and now she spoke with her back to him, her hands busy with stirring the gravy and tending the simmering kettle of beans. The vision of the small boy’s sullen face had been in the forefront of her mind, a surprise she hadn’t planned on.

“Pete’s kinda hard to sort out sometimes,” Tate said quietly. “He listened while I told him you and I were to be married, but it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, and I suspect he just pretended to himself it wasn’t going to happen.”

“Did he think you were just going to stay here?”

Tate shook his head. “Who knows what a child thinks? He seemed happy enough with being here, I agree. I doubt he’d thought about my marrying again. We’d talked before about finding someone to watch after both boys.” His voice softened. “To tell the truth, Johanna, till I caught sight of you, I hadn’t worried too much about remarriage. I was willing to settle for a housekeeper.”

“Until you saw me, or my farm?”

“Both, maybe. I just knew this was the place I was willing to put down roots. Don’t ask me how I knew. I couldn’t tell you. Any more than I could say why I knew you’d be a woman I could marry. I gave you a whole string of reasons why you appealed to me as a mother for my boys.” He tilted his head and eyed her knowingly. “Maybe I just wanted to make it permanent, like you said, so you couldn’t change your mind and skin out if the going got tough.”

Johanna’s spoon circled the skillet slowly, swirling the thickening gravy in a methodical fashion, a task she could manage without a whole lot of concentration. It was a good thing, too, because her thoughts had been in a swivet since the moment Tate Montgomery planted his mouth against hers, sealing their bargain before God and man.

She’d expected him to graze her cheek, or maybe the corner of her mouth. Just to make things look right. What she hadn’t expected was the warmth of his lips, or the soft brush of them against her own before he found the spot he wanted to land on, or the impact of the male scent of him in her nostrils. She’d inhaled sharply when his mouth touched hers, thereby stamping the smell of his shaving soap and the aroma of freshly washed hair and skin on her mind.

It had only lasted a second or two, that kiss he’d given her with such ease and assurance, but the memory of it was still causing her to doubt her sanity.

She’d been kissed before, more thoroughly and at greater length. She’d been seduced by a man who was fairly knowledgable at the game. Her body had known the possession of that man, had shrunk from his greater strength at the end, had endured the rending of her flesh as her innocence surrendered to his taking.

Yet none of that had touched her inner heart as had the warm caress of Tate Montgomery’s kiss. It had spoken to her of commitment, as if in that one gesture he’d taken on her problems, her debts, her worries and her woes. She’d felt, for that moment, safe and secure, with his hands clasping her forearms, his head bent low to salute her with the wedding kiss. She’d felt like a bride, almost.

Tate had held her arm in his grasp, guiding her past the women who would have gushed their well-wishes and words of advice in her ear, had he given them more of a chance. As it was, the two of them had made their way down the aisle and out the door within minutes of the short ceremony. Tate had gathered up his boys on the way and piled them into the back of the wagon with an economy of motion Johanna could not help but admire. The man knew how to make an exit, she’d give him that. As if he recognized her unwillingness to make small talk, he’d taken charge in grand style. They’d been on their way home before the preacher cleared the doorway, ushering the remnants of his flock before him.

“You going to stir that gravy all day, or are we going to get to put it on our potatoes?” Tate had left his seat at the table and walked up behind her.

“It’s done.” Her voice was downright normal, she was pleased to note. Her hands made all the right movements, picking up the pot holders, serving up the vegetables, pouring the perfectly smooth gravy into her mother’s china gravy boat and then placing everything on the table. All without looking once at the man who watched her every movement as if he were trying to see beneath her skin.

“You’re all upset about this, aren’t you, Johanna? We need to be comfortable with each other. We can’t live in this house like two strangers.”

“I don’t see how it can be any different, for now at least,” she answered, pulling the oven door open, rescuing the biscuits in the nick of time. “We are strangers.”

The woman who’d been dancing around in his mind for two days had taken to ignoring him ever since they repeated their vows, two hours ago. He’d thought to hear her making small talk while she cooked, maybe tell him about the people who’d hung around to watch the impromptu wedding. She could even have told him about the farm. Hell, he hadn’t even known how many head of cattle she had till he went looking for himself. Her “not many” had led him to think there were no more than a half-dozen young steers and milk cows in the pastures. The herd he’d tracked down in the far pasture last night numbered at least thirty or so. Accompanied by the rangiest, most worn-out bull he’d seen in a month of Sundays.

“We may be strangers, Johanna, but we’re married. We need to talk about a few things.” Beneath the genial words lay a tone of voice that had caused people to sit up and take notice over the years. He wasn’t surprised to see her shoulders straighten and her spine stiffen. She’d gotten the message. Tate Montgomery was ready to set this marriage in motion. He would not suffer her silence any longer.

Johanna placed the pork roast on the table, careful to put it squarely on the hot pad that would protect her wooden tabletop. He watched as her gaze flicked over each bowl and plate, aware that she was assuring herself that her meal was ready for consumption and that each plate and fork and napkin was squarely in place.

And still that pair of blue eyes avoided his. Staring at the second button of his white shirt, she told him dinner was ready, her voice low and controlled, her unease apparent only in the pulse that fluttered in her throat.

He took pity on her. Johanna Patterson was having second thoughts, and his masculine presence in her kitchen had not helped matters any. His flat demand for a conversation had not set too well with her, either, if he was any judge. In fact, if he wasn’t mistaken, she was about to bolt And that he couldn’t allow.

“Jo.”

Her eyes widened, sweeping from the middle of his chest to his face, as if the diminutive of her given name had shocked her. She blinked, her attention on him fully for the first time since they’d left the church.

“I’m not pushing for any intimacies between us. I just want us to talk and act like families act within the walls of their home. Can’t you just pretend I’m your brother or your uncle for the next hour or so? Talk to me like you would a man you’ve known for years, like you and your pa used to talk at mealtimes.” He watched her closely, noting the faint flush that rose from her high-collared neckline.

“Pa and I didn’t talk much, Tate. We didn’t have a whole lot to say. Pa wasn’t the same after my mother died.” She spoke slowly, the words halting, as if she hesitated to admit the lack of closeness she’d felt with her father.

“You don’t have any relations hereabouts? You didn’t have folks in for Sunday dinner?”

She shook her head. “I fed the thrashers. Out in the yard, under the trees. Once Selena Phillips came out to see me, right after my mother died. Pa told her we didn’t take to having folks hanging around. She didn’t come back.”

A wave of sympathy for the woman he’d married hit Tate with the force of an afternoon storm. She’d been alone here for years, living with her father, but as solitary as any human could be. Suddenly the wall of bristling, cutting words she’d thrown up between them at their first meeting made sense. Johanna Patterson was more than a lonely woman. She was hurting, and wary of any advances.

“Is it time to eat?” Timmy’s treble voice through the screen door broke the silence that had fallen in the kitchen. His nose pushing up against the wire mesh, he squinted as his eyes adjusted to the dimmer light inside.

“Come in, boys.” Johanna smiled at them, welcoming their presence. She could cope with them, talk with them, serve their food and get through this meal with a minimum of contact with their father. She watched as Pete pulled the door open, stretching the spring as far as he could, waiting for his brother to step inside, then allowing the door to slam behind him. His eyes lit with a degree of satisfaction as he darted a look in her direction.

“Don’t let the door slam next time, Pete,” his father said firmly.

“Yessir,” the boy replied, ducking his head deliberately as he spoke.

“Your hands clean?” Tate asked, frowning at his eldest son.

“I washed mine, Pa,” Timmy volunteered, holding up the items in question, his palms still wet and glistening.

“Pete?”

“They’re clean, Pa,” the boy mumbled. “We used the pump outside.”

Johanna pulled out the chair to the right of her own. “Sit here, won’t you, Timmy? Take the chair across from your brother, Pete.” She clasped her hands before her, watching as the boys did her bidding, aware of the man who stood across the table, his own hands clasping the back of his chair. Finally she felt herself snagged by the strange warmth of his gray eyes.

“Sit down, Johanna. Everything looks fine. We need to eat before it gets cold.” He waited for her to take her place, not allowing her to attempt retreat.

And the thought had passed fleetingly through her mind. Only the presence of the two children made it feasible for her to eat with any pretense of ease and affability. She waited while Tate bowed his head and asked a brief blessing on the food, then busied herself with fixing Timmy’s plate, cutting his meat and watching as he took the first bite. As she’d noticed yesterday, his chin came only inches above the tabletop. Now he tilted it to ease the passage of his potato-laden fork as he aimed it toward his mouth.

“Would he do better with a pillow under him?” Johanna asked.