Bachelor Cop

“Hope I didn’t hurt you,” he said, and rubbed his wrist. “You definitely hurt me.”

The other women tittered. She hadn’t hurt him, but she might have. Out-of-control newbies were always more dangerous than pros who understood how to engage and when to stop. “Friends?” he said, and stuck out his hand. She ignored it and struggled to her feet.

Had to be a reason for all the anger she was carrying. Jessica might have an idea. As manager of a working gym, Strength for Health, Jessica often knew more about her clients than they realized.

He hadn’t planned to take Streak down, but she’d come at him with such force, he’d had no choice. She toted some muscle on that skinny frame, she moved fast and she was only three or four inches shorter than his six feet two. If she learned to channel that anger, she might turn into a formidable opponent. If she didn’t, she was going to get herself or someone else hurt.

“Okay, ladies, gather ’round,” he said. “I’m Randy Railsback. I’m a Shelby County cop and I teach this class several times a year, and I’m afraid you’re stuck with my standard introduction. After that we’ll get to work. During the break, you can all introduce yourselves and tell us why you joined a self-defense class.” He opened his hands. “Okay with you?”

Most of the heads bobbed. Streak’s didn’t.

“A competent big man will almost always beat a competent small man,” he began.

“But we’re not men, Randy,” said the luscious blonde, with a small waggle of her estimable rear.

“I’ve noticed,” he said, and included the whole class in his killer smile. Streak didn’t react. “That’s my point. Women are usually smaller than their assailants. Most men have greater upper-body strength than women, and most women have a glass jaw. A solid right will take you out every time.”

“Then why are we here?” Streak asked. Voice like velvet. Deep, almost baritone, but full of authority. He’d bet she was a doctor or lawyer or top-level manager despite the droopy old sweats. Whatever she was, she sure hadn’t made it on her looks or cheerful nature.

“Excellent question. I’m not about to teach you how to start fights. I’m going to teach you how to finish them.”

“And disable our attackers?” Streak asked.

“If that’s what it takes. We have three objectives.” He counted on his fingers. “First, get free. Second, get away, and third, get safe.” He grinned at her. “And avoid a right cross while you’re about it.”

“Why not just shoot his ass?” asked a plump and cheerful lady who looked like Mrs. Santa Claus. “My husband says shoot until the gun goes click, click, then if you have time, reload and do it again.”

There were nods all around.

“What if you don’t have a gun handy?” Randy said. “How many of you have gun permits and carry a weapon in your car, or have one in your house?”

Every hand went up.

“How many of you feel comfortable shooting it?”

Everyone except Streak raised her hand. A cross section of female West Tennessee America, and every one of them owned a gun. If he were a perp, he’d be terrified. But then, if faced with shooting someone for real, so would they. He didn’t usually do this until later in the course, but after Streak’s little episode, he decided to move up his demonstration. “’Scuse me a second,” he said.

He came back from his gym locker with the .38 Smith & Wesson short-barreled five shot he carried in his ankle holster as backup to his Sig Sauer .45. He unloaded it, checked it twice, dropped the bullets into his pocket and offered Mrs. Claus the weapon, butt first. “I carry a weapon at all times, even off duty.” He winked at them. “So I can take down your friendly neighborhood ATM bandit at Kroger’s. I’ve never shot anyone and I pray I never have to, and I definitely hope you never have to, either. Now, Mrs….”

“Ellen,” she simpered. She held the gun low with her trigger finger safely along the side, even though she had just seen it unloaded. Someone had taught her well.

“Most shootings occur from six feet or less.” He moved back ten feet and stuck out his hand. “Woman, how ’bout you give me that diamond ring you’re wearing?”

Ellen narrowed her eyes. The pistol swung up toward his chest. Before she could dry fire, he crossed the distance, blocked her finger on the trigger, wrenched the gun up out of her grasp and pointed it back at her.

“Oh,” Ellen said.

“It’s not as easy as it looks.”

“So we can’t shoot, we can’t fight. Should we just lie down and…die?” Streak again. He was certain she was going to say something besides “die,” but changed her mind. He was glad he hadn’t offered her the gun. She’d probably club him over the head with it. She’d relished the idea of disabling her opponent a tad too much.

“You’re here to learn to avoid dying,” he said. “Get loose from whoever is after you and don’t stick around. We clear on that?”

“We can beat his brains out with a rock,” Streak said.

“Only if you have one,” he said. “Accept that you may get hurt. Don’t get dead.”

For the next half hour he put them through simple drills—how to move forward, backward and sideways, how to keep their weight balanced so they couldn’t be knocked over easily. They were sweating when he called for a break. Everyone collapsed on the exercise mats, pulled bottles of water out of their bags and drained them.

He lobbed his empty bottle into the waste bin in the corner and asked, “Who wants to start?” He smiled at the little blonde. “How about you? First names only. Less to remember.” Plus it gave them some privacy among a group of relative strangers. Before the classes finished, the ones who stayed would know one another well, but at the moment, first names were plenty.

“Everybody calls me Bunny,” she said. “I have no intention of telling you the name Mama saddled me with. I have a husband and two teenage boys, and there are times I wish I could beat up every one of them. And no, I do not have a job.”

“One husband and two teenage boys is a job,” said Mrs. Claus.

She went next. “You already know—I’m Ellen. My husband and I raise Black Angus in Fayette County, and he’s gone early and late with the stock. If I called the sheriff’s department, they wouldn’t get to me for at least twenty minutes. I’m on my own. I have to be able to take care of myself.”

“Thanks, Ellen. How about you, Streak?” he asked.

She arched an eyebrow at him. “My name is Helena. I want to learn to protect myself.”

“I like Streak,” said Bunny. “It suits you and it’s cute.”

The look Helena gave her would have peeled paint, but Bunny grinned and shrugged.

Everyone waited for Helena to continue. When she didn’t, he nodded to the fiftyish woman sitting beside her.

“I’m Francine. I live alone, I run a day-care center, and in case y’all hadn’t noticed, I’m sixty pounds overweight and black. I didn’t give birth to any of my kids, but I still consider ’em mine. As to why I’m here…In the last year three deadbeat dads under Orders of Protection have tried to pick up their kids when they weren’t supposed to, and one drunk mama was strappin’ her two-year-old daughter into her car seat ready to drive home when I stopped her. I need to know how to handle myself.”

“Did you keep the dads from taking their children?” Ellen asked.

Francine grinned at her. “Being a heifer like me has to be good for something. You bet I stopped ’em.”

“Good for you,” said the tall, dark woman who sat beside her. She was maybe forty-five, and looked like Streak might have if Streak only fixed herself up. Expensive haircut, expensive workout clothes, expensive trainers. Sleek as a pampered Siamese cat. “I’m Amanda. I’m a divorce lawyer. Divorces bring out the absolute worst in people and sometimes they take out their nasty tempers on me.” She nodded toward the girl sitting next to her, who was maybe twenty-five, with wide hazel eyes.

“Hi, I’m Lauren.” She waggled her fingernails. They were neatly manicured, but so short she must bite them.

Oh, Lord, Randy thought, she’s perky.

“Walter and I haven’t been married all that long,” she continued. “My mama and daddy live all the way over in Birmingham and Walter’s got a new job where he travels a lot and works nights. He has to do it to get ahead, but we live in a town house in Germantown, and I don’t know anybody to call if I get scared.”

Randy was surprised to see tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. Okay, he’d forgive her for being perky, since Walter, her husband, was obviously an insensitive jerk. Lauren was lonely and frightened. He let his gaze run over his group. He’d be willing to bet, by the time the course finished, these women would have taken her under their collective wings.

The final member of the class worried him as much as Streak did, but for a different reason. She had a head of fluffy white curls without a hint of blue or purple, was nearly as tall as Amanda and Streak, and according to Jessica, was past seventy. He’d have to be careful not to hurt her when they practiced. She stood erect, with no hint of a dowager’s hump. She might run marathons for all he knew, but that didn’t mean her hips would hold up.

“Hello, I’m Sarah Beth.” She nodded at Ellen. “I live in the country, too, but we’ve sold all but five acres. I have four cats, two dogs and a goat. The dogs would probably lick a burglar to death, the cats couldn’t care less and, unfortunately, the goat is the variety that faints at loud noises, so I need to be able to protect myself when my husband’s gone.”

Everybody laughed. The tension was broken.