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If Wishes Were Horses

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2018
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“May I help you?” a voice said at his shoulder. He turned to find a tall, slim woman with cropped dark hair that bore a single streak of silver along the right temple. She also wore jeans and a sleeveless T-shirt, and carried a pitchfork as though it were a rifle. She was in her mid-forties at least, but she had a beautiful smile and the taut body and unlined skin of a woman twenty years younger.

“I’m Michael Whitten,” he said. “From Edenvale School. I have an appointment.”

She set the pitchfork against the nearest wall, wiped her hands down the front of her jeans and extended her hand. “Oh, the chairman of the board of trustees. I’m so sorry. I should have realized who you were when I saw the blue suit and tie. But you’re early.”

Mike smiled grimly. He was always early for business meetings with possible adversaries. Threw them off balance, and sometimes he caught them in things they’d rather he had not seen. He said, “Sorry. Got away sooner than I thought I could. Didn’t have time to change.” He shook her hand. Her fingers felt callused. Her handshake was firm.

“I’m afraid you’re bound to take home some dust on that suit,” the woman said. “I’m Victoria Jamerson. I’m half owner and I manage this place. That’s our trainer and co-owner, my niece Liz Matthews, out there working Trust Fund.” She slipped past him and shouted to the woman on the horse, “Liz, Mr. Whit-ten’s here.”

“Bother,” the rider said softly, but loud enough so that Mike heard her clearly.

She turned to stare at him from under a tight cap that might once have been black velvet, but had taken on a greenish cast. She brought the horse down to a walk and relaxed into the saddle. Mike could see the glint of sweat on the animal’s flanks—hardly surprising on a July afternoon. The woman’s blue T-shirt was soaked, as well, and her muscular arms glistened.

Mike caught himself staring at the curve of the shirt over her breasts and turned back to Victoria Jamerson. “And this is my daughter, Pat. Come here, Pitty—uh, Pat, and meet Mrs. Jamerson.”

“In a minute, Daddy,” Pat said, unable to tear her eyes off the horse and rider. She set down the terriers, climbed onto the bottom rail of the three-board fence and hung over the top.

“Bad case of equine adoration,” Victoria Jamerson said easily. “There’s something about horses that just seems to call out to little girls.” She shrugged and smiled. “Happened to me, happened to Liz, and I already see the symptoms in your Pat. I’m afraid it’s an incurable disease.”

Mike felt his stomach roil. Mrs. Jamerson had no idea how her words affected him.

“I’m afraid you’ve only uncovered the tip of the iceberg,” Mrs. Jamerson continued pleasantly. “Before you know it, you’ll be the proud owner of a large pony. You’ll spend your weekends cheering Pat in weather that you wouldn’t put your dog out in. Comes with the territory.”

At the words Proud owner and large pony, Pat’s head whipped around. Her eyes glowed with an inner fire that Mike had seen only when she was burning with fever—the day that he made her that fateful promise.

“My daddy’s already promised to buy me a pony for my twelfth birthday,” Pat said. “I’ll be twelve in a month.”

“Then we’d better get cracking,” Mrs. Jamerson said and moved to lean beside Pat on the fence. “Large ponies that are suitable for beginning riders aren’t very thick on the ground.”

“We’re getting ahead of ourselves,” Mike said quickly. “Pat’s never even been on a horse. She may hate it.”

Both Pat and Mrs. Jamerson turned to stare at him with a “get-real” look that froze his heart.

In the center of the ring, the woman swung her long leg over the horse’s back and dropped lightly to the ground. She patted the big horse’s neck, slid the reins over his head and began to walk beside him toward them.

Mike saw the resemblance between the two women immediately. Both were tall, slim and had high cheekbones and broad foreheads that would probably keep them beautiful into their eighties. Mrs. Jamerson’s eyes were gray, however, while Liz Matthews gazed at him from eyes the color of a jade Buddha.

Liz Matthews. Different last name. He knew Mrs. Jamerson was a widow. So Liz Matthews could be married. He checked the rider’s left hand. No ring. Oddly, he felt pleased.

He liked the look of her, although she didn’t seem overjoyed to see him. Probably didn’t appreciate having her riding session interrupted. She walked with a long-legged, rangy stride emphasized by the tight dark leather encasing her legs. Her jeans sat low on her hips; but her T-shirt was wet enough to cling to her narrow waist and muscular rib cage. She reached up to pull her shabby riding hat off to reveal an unkempt mass of dark blond curls.

As she came closer, he saw that she was probably in her mid-thirties. There were tiny lines at the corners of her eyes, and a spray of freckles across a nose that had probably been broken at least once. Without that slightly crooked nose, Mike realized, she was simply a good-looking woman. With it, she was sexy as hell.

Since, as chairman of the board of trustees at Edenvale, he would make the recommendation either to employ her and her riding stable, or to look for someone else to start an after-school riding program at Edenvale, he’d expected her to welcome him effusively, maybe even do a little fawning. Apparently she didn’t fawn.

She didn’t offer to shake hands either, but walked straight into the stable, calling as she went, “Albert, can you cool down Trust Fund for me, please?”

“Uh-huh,” came a bass voice from the shadowy reaches of the stable. A moment later a huge man opened one of the stall doors and ambled down to take the horse. “Hey, old fool,” he said amiably, and walked the horse past them into the green area that surrounded the ring.

“Come on in the office where it’s cool, Mr. Whitten,” Mrs. Jamerson said as Liz came back to join them.

“Can I stay here, Daddy? Please, can I, please?” Pat whined.

“That’s probably not a good idea, kiddo.”

He caught a glimpse of Liz Matthews’s raised eyebrows at Pat’s tone.

“She’ll be fine with Albert, Mr. Whitten,” Liz said and turned to Pat. “Stay away from the stalls. Some of these guys kick and a couple of them will bite a plug out of you if you get too close.”

“Sure,” Pat said and skipped off after the big man and the horse.

Great, Mike thought. One end kicks, the other bites. “Pitti—uh, Pat, I’m sure this gentleman has work to do. He can’t take the time to watch you. Better stay with me.”

Pat turned and glowered at him.

Albert had also turned, and gave him a broad grin that didn’t quite hide the query in his eyes. “She’ll be just fine, Mr. Whitten.” He glanced down at the child. “Gonna put you to work, though, you stick with me. You can help me water the horses.”

For the first time in her life, Pat seemed delighted by the word work. “I’ll be just fine, Daddy.” She shot him a look that dared him to stop her. Seeing Albert nod, he gave in and hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision.

Somehow he’d find a way to keep Pat out of this summer riding camp, and before fall he’d make damned sure that he had enough ammunition to prove that Edenvale School did not need an after-school riding program.

If his Pitti-Pat wanted to learn to ride a horse, break bones, breathe dust, ingest dog and cat germs, chance disease and danger, she’d have to wait until she was grown and out of his control, and even then he’d go down fighting to keep her safe.

He’d come within a hairbreadth of losing Pat twice. The first time, being kept alive in an incubator, she’d managed to cling to life, but her mother, the only woman Mike had ever loved, had died bringing her into the world. That terrible loss had brought home to Mike, in a way that nothing else ever could, how fragile life was. One moment the child in his wife’s womb was to be the crowning jewel in their charmed lives. The next he was alone and despairing, terrified of losing this tiny creature who was his only link to his wife.

The second time had come when he’d finally begun to relax a little, to think that he and Pat were safe.

Well, he’d finally learned. No way would he risk a third time. Not in his lifetime or hers. If she was angry with him, well, that came with parenting. He could face her anger; he couldn’t face life without her.

He couldn’t guard against every danger, but he tried to keep the risks to the minimum. If that meant going back on his promise to buy her a pony, he’d have to find a way to explain his reasoning to her. He’d only made that promise out of desperation when he’d seen her so small in that hospital bed, when he’d been afraid she’d never live to celebrate her twelfth birthday, let alone be able to ride a pony.

He’d do anything to keep her safe—even betray her trust in him, and that would be a very hard thing to do.

As he followed the two women toward the front of the stable, he felt a pang of nostalgia. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and remembered the two summers he’d spent at camp outside of Portland when he was younger than Pat.

He knew his parents simply wanted him out of the house, but still he treasured those memories—swimming in the lake, canoeing, campfires—a few months of paradise for a city boy whose every moment during the school year was carefully programmed to get him into the best schools, the best clubs, the most advantageous career when he grew up. Those two summers were the only time in his life he’d ever stepped off the fast track.

He wished with all his heart he dared allow Pat the same luxury, but her illness had left him more deeply scarred emotionally than it had her. To Pat, it was a horrible time, but it was over. Mike couldn’t manage to get past his ever-present sense of impending doom.

Five minutes later Mrs. Jamerson, Liz Matthews and Mike settled in the air-conditioned clients’ lounge with sodas at their elbows.

“Why should we pick your stable to run the after-school program at Edenvale?” Mike asked. He heard the edge in his voice and assumed the women would hear it too. Mike considered himself an equalopportunity intimidator. Anything to get a better deal for Edenvale. Just doing his job.

Mrs. Jamerson glanced quickly at her niece. “Frankly, Mr. Whitten,” she said, “there are bigger and fancier stables than ValleyCrest Farm in this area, but there’s not a single one with a better atmosphere for the kids or a better trainer.”

Mike turned to Liz. “What are your credentials?”

“Better than most,” Liz said. “I have a B.A. in Equine Studies, and a British Horsemanship certificate. I grew up in pony club. I’ve been riding and training horses most of my life. I’ve ridden everything from short stirrup to grand prix, and I’ve started riders who’ve gone on to Indoors every year.”
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