A Father in the Making

And now, with the death of the man who had hurt and tormented him so often and in so many ways, Nate felt free. Though the letter tucked in his back pocket mocked that very freedom.

Nate spun around and strode into the barn, tossing the pail aside, struggling once again with memories that had, for the most part, been eased away with the unconditional love of Denny’s family. They had introduced him to faith and had shown him a better way to live. His stepfather was nothing to him. He would take nothing from him. Ever.

* * *

Mia pushed the stroller back and forth, thankful the girls still slept, equally thankful she could get the large stroller into the counselor’s office. Josh sat beside her immersed in his computer game. In the small room just off his office, she heard Dr. Schuler talking to Nico.

Please, Lord, let something good come from this, Mia prayed. She could use some good news. The girls were out of sorts and she knew a lot of it had to do with being yanked out of their routine. Josh was uncharacteristically cranky.

Tomorrow she had to deal with the insurance company, and her initial contact with the agent this morning hadn’t been encouraging.

Please let the doctor have figured out how to help Nico.

The door creaked open and Dr. Schuler stepped out. With his blond goatee, longish hair, plaid shirt and faded blue jeans he looked more like a West Coast logger than a therapist. But Mia wasn’t going to quibble about his wardrobe choices. Dr. Brouwer had had nothing but encouraging words for this man.

Nico came behind Dr. Schuler, clutching a handful of papers covered with the same colorful drawings as the papers Dr. Schuler carried. Mia suspected those pictures had been the main source of communication between them.

Dr. Schuler gave Mia a smile that she could only construe as encouraging. Then he stopped at his desk, laid the papers down and hit the intercom button. “Nancy, could you come into the office and take Nico and Josh to the playroom for a few minutes?”

A short, portly woman bustled into the office and squatted down in front of Nate and Josh. “I have a fun race-car set I would like to show you,” she said.

Josh needed no encouragement, but Nico glanced at Mia, who nodded her assent. Only then did he leave.

“So I’ve had an interesting session with Nico,” Dr. Schuler said as he tapped the stack of papers in front of him. “I understand both from Dr. Brouwer and from the pictures he made for me that he survived a fire?”

Mia nodded, her guilt over not being there plunging like a dagger in her heart as she clutched the stroller, pushing it back and forth, back and forth.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know,” Dr. Schuler said.

“I should have been there.”

“With your two girls? Do you think you could have gotten four children out on your own?”

His probing questions put things into perspective for Mia. Reluctantly, she nodded, accepting the quiet wisdom he was giving her.

“Josh and Nico came through with minimal physical damage and for that you can be thankful. However, Selective Mutism is not uncommon in a child as young as Nico after a very traumatic event. It will go away, but it takes time and it takes giving Nico space to let us know what he wants.”

“And what do you suggest?”

Dr. Schuler laid out the papers he had taken with him and leaned his elbows on the desk. “Could you have a look at these? Tell me if you recognize anything in them.”

Though the pictures were crudely drawn, Mia had seen enough of Nico’s drawings to recognize what he was trying to portray. The first paper was covered with orange and red flames and in the middle of them stood a stick figure of a man wearing a black cowboy hat, a feather stuck in the band. The cowboy stood beside a smaller figure. The next picture beside it was of the same man, riding a horse. The man wore the same cowboy hat. Another picture showed, what Mia guessed, was the same stick figure. He stood by a horse, again, but a little boy rode the horse. Another picture depicted the same thing.

“Is there anything, other than the ubiquitous man with the black cowboy hat with the feather, that you notice about these pictures?” Dr. Schuler was saying.

Mia stifled a yawn as her eyes flicked over the pictures but she couldn’t find what Dr. Schuler wanted her to see. “Sorry. My brain isn’t working properly today.”

“I’m sure it’s had enough to think about. I just thought you might see something I might have missed. But I wanted you to notice two things. The man has all his features—face, eyes, nose mouth and hair. The little boy only has eyes. No mouth.”

“Indicative of his lack of speech,” Mia guessed.

“I would guess the same. And you can see that in each picture it seems to me the little boy is looking at the man. Is he familiar to you in any way?”

Mia slowly released her breath through pursed lips, thinking of Nico’s actions of this morning. “A man named Nate rescued Nico from the fire. He’s the foster brother of the man whose ranch I’m living on. He’s a horse trainer and he’s only passing through.”

Dr. Schuler tapped his fingers on his desk, as if thinking. “You sound concerned.”

“I am concerned about my son’s attachment to him,” Mia said, looking at the other pictures Dr. Schuler had brought along. All of Nate and Nico and horses. “This morning, before we came here, I found him with Nate in the barn. Nico doesn’t form attachments quickly, so yes, it concerns me. It took him months to get over Al’s defection. I can’t afford to let him get attached to someone who will be leaving within the next couple of weeks.”

“I understand. However, your son seems to have formed a strong connection to him and to his horses. I am presuming the connection with Nate started with the rescue from the fire. Now we just need to figure out how we can use it to help your son. So this is something you will have to deal with.”

All that Dr. Schuler said reinforced Mia’s own concerns about Nate, but it didn’t negate the reality of Nico’s connection to him.

“So what’s next?” she asked.

“Another visit, obviously. We’ll have to set up some type of schedule. This will take time and patience to deal with. As for the man in the pictures, is he trustworthy?”

The man had put his own life on the line to save Nico and Josh. He and Denny seemed to have a close relationship. Any of Mia’s concerns about Nate and Nico were not because of Nate’s character. But because of his circumstances.

“I believe he is,” Mia said.

“Would you consider working with him and Nico. Possibly some supervised visits?”

“He lives at the same place we do. His brother owns the ranch we’re staying at.”

“Then having him spend some time with you and Nico might be a possibility. He might be able to draw Nico out somehow. As well, given that Nico seems drawn to his horses, that could be another point of connection that you and this man could work with.”

“We can figure out all we want,” Mia said, “but if Nate isn’t willing to help out, then we’re no further ahead.”

“If he’s not, then we’ll have to explore other avenues. Maybe the horses that also feature prominently in each picture could be a vehicle for his recovery. But for now, this man seems to be an important point of connection.” Dr. Schuler leaned forward. “I fully understand your concerns and under any other circumstance I would feel the same. But to me Nico’s mutism is wound up with this man. If, somehow, you could work with him and Nico, as well as his horses, we might see a breakthrough.

“If we can even simply establish a connection with Nico and the horses that might be enough to mitigate any concerns that might come up when this man, Nate, leaves. How do you feel about that?”

“I’m still not comfortable, but of course, I’ll do anything for Nico.”

“Of course you would,” Dr. Schuler said with a smile as he leaned back in his leather chair. “You strike me as a loving and caring mother.”

Grace started squawking and Mia jiggled the stroller to settle her down.

“One thing for next time—I would like to spend some time with you one-on-one during the next visit. You’ve been through just as much as the boys.”

Mia waved off his concern as she turned the stroller around to check on the girls. “I’m fine. I just need to get through the next few weeks.”

Dr. Schuler gave her a thoughtful look, as if trying to see into her soul.

“Really. I’m okay,” she insisted.

“The offer stands. Think about it.”