Trusting The Cowboy

Lauren shook her head. “Small towns,” she said. “I can’t imagine getting away with running a business like that in Boston or Fresno.”

“You lived in both those places?”

“And Chicago, and New York for a month. I live in Charlotte, North Carolina, now.”

“That’s a lot of moving.”

“Harvey, my fiancé was a real go-getter. Always looking for a better job.”

“And you followed him around?”

“Sort of. His opportunities were good for me, as well.” She was surprised at how his comment made her feel.

“Your dad said you worked as an accountant.”

Lauren chuckled at the grimace on his face. “It’s good work.”

Vic shuddered. “Numbers are not my friends. I can’t imagine working with them all day.”

“To each his own,” she said. “I like how predictable and orderly they make life. There’s no surprises or guesswork. One plus one will always equal two.”

“Do you enjoy it? Is it your passion?”

Lauren opened her mouth to say yes but hesitated. To say it was her passion wasn’t correct. “I’m good at it and it pays well.”

Vic laughed and she shot him a puzzled glance. “Is it the money? That why you do it? You don’t seem like that kind of person.”

Lauren’s back stiffened. “No. Of course not. I do it because I’m competent. I’m trained for it and because...because...well... I’ve got this opportunity now to start my own business and...” For a few long moments she couldn’t latch on to any solid reason why. No one had ever asked her. Harvey had always assumed this was what she should do.

She turned away from Vic and his probing questions and curious expression. The uncertainty his comments raised frustrated her. Then came a chilling realization.

It’s because that’s all you’ve ever done.

“I’m sorry if I’ve upset you,” Vic said. “I was just making conversation.”

She suddenly felt as if the ground that she had always thought of as solid and unmoving had shifted.

You don’t seem like that kind of person.

How did he know what she was like?

“It’s all right,” she said, giving him a careful smile. “For some reason your comment caught me unawares.”

“Never a good place to be caught,” Vic said. “I’m sorry.”

“No. Please don’t apologize. If I’m honest, money is part of it, that’s true enough. There never was enough when I was growing up. I remember reading the beatitudes and Jesus saying, ‘Blessed are the poor,’ and I thought he was wrong. There was no blessing in being broke. There was no honor in buying clothes from a thrift store and getting teased about them. Jodie managed to find her own style. But I used to be ashamed that my clothes were secondhand, and Gramma chastised me many times for that. She often made me feel guilty that I wanted more. Even Dad would tell me not to be so proud.”

“Keith was a frugal man.”

“That’s a kind way of saying he was stingy.”

Vic gave her another one of his killer smiles that touched her soul.

“So what was your passion when you were younger?” he pressed. “What did you always want to do? Where were you the happiest?”

Lauren considered his questions. “You know, my favorite times were when I was in my aunt’s flower shop. My dad would send us there once in a while when he didn’t know what else to do with us. I loved working with the flowers. I loved watching my aunt arrange them and combine colors and textures and create interesting displays. When I was older, she let me try my hand at it.” She released a light laugh. “I think the true appeal of my aunt’s shop was the calm I felt there. The happiness. It was like a little sanctuary for me and my sisters.”