A Father in the Making

* * *

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Denny held Nate’s gaze with an intensity Nate tried to ignore. It only reminded him of how close he and Jeff had cut things getting Angie, Nico and Josh out of the building.

“The paramedic said I’m fine, so I’ll take his word for that.” Nate leaned forward in the hard plastic chair of the hospital waiting room, and subconsciously tapped his foot on the shining surface floor. The sharp, antiseptic smell of the hospital brought back memories he thought he’d buried. Spent too much time here as a kid.

“You should never have run into that building, you know,” Denny said.

“I had training,” Nate protested, fighting the urge to get up and pace. “That other guy, Jeff, he couldn’t get two kids and that woman out on his own. If we had waited till the fire department showed up, it might have been too late.”

He didn’t want to let his mind go too far down that road. In spite of his work as a volunteer fireman, he knew he would be reliving that harrowing search for months to come. The heat of the floor in Mia’s apartment. The horror that gripped him when he made it to the bed and didn’t find the little boy in it as Angie had said. His panicked sweep of the room only to find the little boy huddled in a closet, his arms wrapped around his knees.

Denny sat back in his chair and gave him a smile. “You’re quite something, little brother. But you should let the doctor check you over.”

“I’m fine. I just want to make sure that kid, Nico, is okay.” The boy had scared him. When Nate pulled him out of the closet, he’d gone limp and Nate had to drag him out of the room and back down the stairs.

“Is Evangeline okay with taking care of those baby girls?” He wanted to talk about something else.

“Yeah. She’s used to handling babies after little Ella came into our lives a couple of months ago.”

“Hey, I was sorry to hear about your ex-wife’s death,” Nate said, a note of sympathy in his voice.

“It took some adjusting. Especially since Lila’s sister dropped that bomb the same time she dropped Ella off on my doorstep because she didn’t want to take care of her anymore.”

“I still can’t believe I’ve got a two-year-old niece,” Nate said, letting a smile curve his lips. “And you’re getting married again in a couple of months.”

“I can’t believe it, either, but I have to say, I highly recommend it.”

Nate just snorted. “Being single is better for a guy like me. Less chance to get hurt.” He stopped himself there. Denny always made him say more than he wanted.

He remembered coming to the Norquest ranch a young, angry boy of twelve, abused by his stepfather. Denny’s family worked his way past the defenses Nate had spent the first twelve years of his life erecting.

The Norquests surrounded him with love and laughter and gave him a vision of a life that was good. Olivia, Trista and Adrianna teased him the same way they teased Denny. Steve and Donna Norquest treated him like their own. After two years of living with them he started calling them Mom and Dad.

Then, when Denny was seventeen, they died in a small plane crash, reinforcing the one belief he had clung to since his mother left him with an abusive stepfather.

Letting people into your life hurt.

“You’ll change your mind someday,” Denny said with a conviction that created a tinge of frustration in Nate.

But Nate preferred to keep his comments to himself.

Evangeline came toward them pushing the baby stroller and gave them both a quick smile. “I’ll keep moving,” she whispered as she passed them. “The girls are sleeping. I just called Olivia and she said she would stay until we came back.”

Denny nodded and leaned back, seemingly content to just sit.

Nate envied him his composure. He couldn’t sit still. Too much had happened too quickly. He was still processing his accident and now this?

He tapped his fingers together and blew out his breath, feeling as if the walls closed in on him.

“What is taking so long?”

“You can go back to the ranch if you want,” Denny said. “Check on your horses. See how Olivia is doing.”

Nate shook his head. “No. I want to see this through. Do you want something to drink? I’m dry as dust.”

“No, thanks, but you go ahead. Do you need change?” he asked, already reaching for his wallet.

“Thanks. I’m good.” Nate had to smile at the offer. Denny was always slipping him money when Nate blew through his allowance sooner than he was supposed to. Always looking out for him. Still looking out for him.

Nate walked down the hall to the vending machine and made his choice, but when he pulled his wallet out to slip the money in he was disappointed to see his fingers trembling.

Aftershock, he reminded himself. The paramedic told him to watch out for it and to go to the hospital if it got too bad.

As if. He had spent enough of his life in a hospital; he wasn’t going to deliberately check into one on his own. He grabbed the bottle of juice when it dropped into the bin. He twisted the top off and chugged half the bottle down as his mind, unwilling, returned to the thick, choking smoke curling up from the building. The panic that seized him when he saw the flames licking up the side of the wall as he and Jeff pulled open the door to the apartment, dropped to the floor and started crawling. The fear that clutched at him when he didn’t find the little boy in his bed.

He stopped by the windows overlooking the town as he walked back to the waiting room, pushing the memories down. Hartley Creek seemed like a good place to stay awhile if he had to stay anywhere. Denny was here. Olivia, too. And it sounded like the other sisters might be popping in from time to time.

Nate let a hint of a smile play over his lips. He had missed Denny and the girls more than he wanted to admit. The past three years had been tiring and taxing and draining. Too much time on the road. Too many competitions. Too much juggling to find places for his horses to stay on the off-season. Right now he had two mares that had just foaled, boarded at a friend’s place. One of these days he knew he had to find a permanent home.

But the thought of settling down, putting down roots, creating the potential for loss...

He shook off that thought, took another swig of juice and started back down the hallway. Then stopped as another fit of coughing seized him. Unable to walk through it he rested his hand against the wall, doubled over. When he was done, his chest felt as if someone had doused his lungs with acid. He took a few more slow breaths, carefully sucking air into his raw throat. It would be okay, he reminded himself.

Then, as he looked up, he saw Mia standing by the entrance to the emergency department, her arms wrapped tightly around her oldest boy. She was looking directly at him.

For a moment he felt it again. The initial shot of attraction he had experienced when he first saw her in Evangeline’s bookstore. The attraction that had been doused when he found out that she had children. A family.

But in spite of that, he easily remembered how she leaned into him as they walked toward the ambulance. How, for a moment, it felt nice to be needed.

He pushed that reaction down. He had his own stuff to deal with and no room for a woman in his life. Especially not a woman who needed more than he could possibly give.

“Where are Evangeline and Denny?” he asked her as he came around the corner to see the waiting room vacated.

“The girls just woke up when I got back here. One needed something to eat, the other, a clean diaper. So they’re taking care of it.”

He sensed, from the strained note in her voice that she didn’t feel right about that situation. She seemed like a person that had a hard time accepting help.

“So how are the boys?” he asked. “What did the doctor say?”

She took a breath then pushed her hand through her short hair in a nervous gesture. “Josh is good,” she said, rubbing her hand up and down the arm of the older boy standing beside her. His dark hair was pasted down on one side and while his face was clean, his hands were still streaked with black, as were his clothes. Mia fingered Josh’s hair away from his face in a vain attempt to neaten it, her fingers trembling. “You’re going to need a bath when we get home, buddy....” Mia’s sentence trailed off and Nate realized she no longer had a home to go back to.

“How is Nico?” Nate asked.

Mia gave him a curious look, as if wondering about his concern. “Dr. Brouwer is checking a few more things out. How was he when you took him out of the building?”

“Scared. Panicky. He hung on to me like a little monkey. But I don’t think anything was broken or burned.”

Mia pressed her lips together as she took a slow, trembling breath. “I can’t begin to thank you for...for what you did. You saved my son’s life.”