Kate & Alf

Only when Kate finished spluttering through her tears about her confusion on the whole matter did Lillian finally pipe up.

‘Let me tell you a story, darling, about my second husband Bobbi….’

It was then that Kate grinned. She’d heard the story countless times. Bobbi was the second of five husbands that Lillian had worked her way through. She happened to also know that Bobbi was the only one who had failed to propose to Lillian for a whole year before Lillian took matters into her own hands.

She had a feeling it was time to pay more attention…

Chapter 4 (#u5c8b1489-5e57-5756-8aab-a2db1026aba5)

Sinking back against the cream leather sofa cushions, Kate’s eyes swept around the small living room of the house she shared with Alf. Its soft pastel-green walls had once seemed so welcoming and relaxing, yet now the paint was marked and scuffed in places. The ash wood furniture no longer looked fitting – it appeared bulky and dated. Even the imitation flowers that when new had often been mistaken for being real, had faded with age. She sat up straighter, noticing that the laminated flooring was uneven and bubbled in places – most likely through water damage at some point. She looked down at Sam as he whimpered loudly, readjusting himself in the nook of Kate’s arm.

‘It’s okay, sweetie, I’m not going anywhere.’

Sam gently closed his eyes again and Kate relaxed back into place. The house was in silence, save for the ticking of the wall clock. It was a rarity that she could just sit in complete stillness; her day had been long and demanding, not to mention emotionally exhausting. For once she was grateful that Alf was working late. She’d even decided that she didn’t have the energy to prepare dinner and would be suggesting a takeaway as soon as he arrived home.

Yet the room decoration unsettled her. How long had they been living in ignorance? It seemed astonishing to her that she hadn’t noticed the grubbiness and lack of warmth in the room previously. Granted, they hadn’t decorated properly in four years, but it was still a shock to her to realise that things had become so neglected.

Is that what had happened to their relationship too? She couldn’t get away from the overbearing thoughts that had been playing on her mind since the party. It had helped a little to chat with Vivian and Lil, but on reflection, they’d not really provided any answers; they’d only listened to her. She knew that she should have opened up to Alf yesterday; he’d been concerned by her lack of talkativeness and expressed it on more than one occasion, but they’d both been enthralled with the puppy and she’d feigned a hangover every time he looked at her questioningly.

She didn’t have the energy for the discussion that they needed to have. There were so many things floating around in her head, but she needed first to access her true feelings. She’d been so fixated on the proposal that she’d failed to pay attention to the niggling doubts that had been creeping into her emotions of late. She knew deep inside that all these months of focusing on an engagement was simply a way of getting some sort of commitment from Alf. A commitment that he hadn’t given her in another respect; that of discussing trying for another baby together at some point. She’d been convincing herself that if he was ready to marry her, then a baby was sure to follow…

She hadn’t been ready to acknowledge her subconscious need for a family before now, but things had come to a head inside of her since the party. She’d been deluding herself for so long; she desperately wanted a child. Yet, what if by the time they began trying, she couldn’t have any more children? She was thirty-two… the clock was already beginning to tick fast….

There was no doubt that she loved Alf more than anything, but everything about their situation was an indicator of them not being as on top of things as they could have been. Their relationship was dulled and in desperate need of repair. Why hadn’t either of them noticed it sooner? Addressed it sooner?

Sam’s eyes flew open and his small head lifted instantaneously as Alf’s footsteps could be heard on the gravel outside the street door. His body tensed and he whimpered softly, looking at Kate for reassurance.

With a start, she glanced at the clock, wondering why Alf was home earlier than he’d said – then realised with dismay that she’d spent almost an hour lost in her thoughts.

The street door closed gently and Kate heard a thud as something heavy hit the wooden laminate flooring in the hallway.

‘Hi babe, I’m in here.’ Remaining on the sofa, she made no move to get up.

Alf pushed the half-glass door open and smiled at Kate as he took off his black suit jacket. ‘Hey, darling. You look relaxed.’ He walked over to kiss her, loosening his pink tie as he bent down and placed a peck on her forehead. ‘Why’s the place in silence?’ He ruffled Sam’s fur. ‘Hello, mate. Hope you’re behaving for your mum.’

‘Yes, he’s been good,’ Kate replied with a yawn as Alf flopped down in the armchair opposite, kicking off his shoes as he did so. She watched as he picked up the TV remote and pressed the standby button. The room was flooded with sound, making her wince.

‘It’s weird coming home and seeing you sat in here. Usually you’re off doing a thousand things,’ he joked, lowering the volume of the TV a little. ‘Did you have a good day? Hangover wore off?’

Kate nodded and stood up, placing Sam on the floor. ‘I just had a demanding day with Hilda.’ She noticed Alf’s attention had been caught by something on the TV. ‘I was thinking we could get a Chinese takeaway? I don’t fancy cooking.’

Alf shrugged. ‘Sure, whatever you fancy. I’m easily pleased.’ He didn’t look away from the screen.

‘Okay, I’ll go and ring them. I’ll just order the usual.’ She walked into the hallway to pick up the handset, immediately noticing the large sports holdall at the foot of the stairs.

‘Er, Alf, what’s this bag?’

Alf’s head appeared around the doorway and she noticed by the dark circles under his eyes that he looked as tired as she felt. ‘Oh – I forgot about that. It’s Marcus’. He suddenly looked sheepish. ‘I had a call from him out of the blue this morning. He’s split up with his missus and moved back down from Leeds.’

Kate rubbed her face in confusion and sighed. ‘Marcus? Is he the one that you grew up with?’ What was Alf doing with his bag?

‘Yes, he’s stuck for a place to stay, you see. So I told him he could crash here for a few days.’

‘Are you serious? You’re only just telling me this now?’ Kate replied, her voice rising and suddenly irate. She shook her head in disbelief.

‘Calm down. He’s not a bad fella – you’ll really like him. I didn’t know what else to do. He’s in a right state. It wasn’t until after I spoke to you that he dropped off his stuff at my office. I didn’t expect him to actually take me up on the offer.’

‘Fine, whatever.’ Kate shrugged, defeated. She really didn’t have the energy for an argument. Ignoring Alf’s glare, she sighed and walked over to the hallway dresser, scrabbling around in the messy drawer to find the Chinese take-away menu.

‘Don’t be like that – it’s only for a few days. Besides, I told him it’s best to come first thing tomorrow. He’s made arrangements to stay with his sister tonight. What with her four kids and the brother-in-law that doesn’t like him – he won’t be welcome there any longer.’

‘Look, it’s fine,’ Kate snapped, picking up the phone handset and punching in the take-away number. ‘I’ll get the spare room sorted.’ She heard the line starting to ring and was grateful for the distraction.

She turned her back toward Alf, silently seething. Did they not have enough of their own unsaid issues without those of a childhood friend?

Alf watched as Kate picked at her food, barely lifting the fork to her lips. He’d tried endlessly to make light conversation, but she’d shot him down with one-word answers. He was tired of the tension. Even Sam seemed to have picked up that something wasn’t right and was wisely tucked away in the corner of his box.

He reached for another prawn ball and dipped it into the sweet and sour sauce, taking a bite. ‘Can I have your water chestnuts?’ he asked, pointing his fork to Kate’s plate. ‘I know you don’t like them.’

Kate looked up with a troubled expression. ‘Sure.’ She stabbed her fork into the visible chestnuts and using her knife, scraped them off onto the side of Alf’s plate. ‘I do like them, but I’m not very hungry tonight.’

‘I can see that. You’ve barely touched your food. Is everything okay?’ Concerned, he set down his cutlery and looked straight at her. ‘This isn’t about Marcus staying is it? Because if so I can always tell him that plans have changed.’

She was quick to answer. ‘No, don’t do that. It’s fine for Marcus to stay – besides I’ve already put clean bedding in the spare room now.’ She met his eyes. ‘I just feel tired, that’s all.’

‘Okay, as long as you’re sure.’ He reached across to squeeze her hand. ‘You look shattered, though – and you must be if you’re imagining that you do actually like water chestnuts.’ His smile ceased as Kate snatched away her hand.

‘Why do you always think you know everything about me?’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘Yes, I do like water chestnuts and I have done so for a long time.’ She stood up from the table, taking her plate with her and walked to the dustbin. ‘Clearly you haven’t been paying attention.’

‘There’s no need to snap at me, Kate. And, for the record, I do know a great deal about you. In case you haven’t noticed we’ve spent the last seven years living together.’

Scraping her food off the china plate angrily into the dustbin, Kate didn’t rise to his remark. It was on the tip of her tongue to point out that she had very much noticed they’d spent nearly the last decade living together. And that was the problem. Was it ever going to be anything more than just two people living together, like two flatmates? Was there ever going to be any real mention of a family or proper future together?

‘Like I said, I’m tired. I think I’ll have an early night.’ She rinsed her plate under the tap, before plunging it into the bowl of soapy dishwater. ‘Just leave everything in the sink. I’ll do it in the morning.’

Alf took a sip of water to stop himself from saying something he’d regret. Replacing his glass on the table, he picked up a napkin and dabbed at his mouth. Kate was already walking out of the kitchen. ‘Okay. Good night.’

He heard her walk slowly up the stairs and found that his own appetite was suddenly waning. She was behaving oddly out of character and had been ever since the party. It was true that they rarely had big nights out any more, but surely her surliness couldn’t still be attributed to the aftereffects of alcohol? Alf felt there was something more to it.

Picking up the remainder of food on the table, he began to clear away. Had the puppy been a mistake? Was that why she was being odd? He couldn’t imagine his sweet, lovable Kate being angry at him for giving her something she’d always hinted at. She loved animals, she was always the first one to reach out and show attention to anything with a fluffy tail. Why would she be constantly fussing over Sam if he was unwanted? It couldn’t be the puppy?

Josh’s comment also came to the forefront of Alf’s mind. Walking into the office that morning, he hadn’t been surprised to hear about the party amongst the weekend gossip, but he had been surprised when Josh had said they’d all thought for a moment there that he was going to propose. He’d scoffed at the idea, momentarily stunned that his gesture had come across that way. Josh had said it was the small box that did it and his words preceding the puppy.

Part of him now wished he hadn’t taken the advice of the kindly dog breeder, Evon. She’d been so overawed with his idea of presenting the puppy as a birthday gift that she’d insisted on contributing the name-tag. In hindsight, perhaps he should have just put the tag on the puppy and instead presented the puppy first. Yet Evon had told him she’d made the tag look presentable in a nice box and it would be more of a surprise for Kate to see the tag first. He couldn’t argue with that. Kate’s face had been a picture. Not to mention the tears of joy she’d shed when he’d placed the puppy in her arms. For a moment he’d been distracted and horrified when he’d noticed the pee all over her party dress, but she’d quickly reassured him with a kiss and a smile…

No, he was pretty certain that Kate hadn’t misconstrued the box as a proposal. She knew him too well. If and when he did propose, it would never be done in front of an audience. She’d know that. He’d want it to be special and private. Besides, they’d agreed to give it a few years yet. They’d had a long chat on her 30th birthday – both of them feeling it would be better to wait a while until their work and financial situations were more stable. She hadn’t even mentioned the idea of engagement or marriage since.

He knew from experience that when a woman was getting itchy feet about an idea, there would be unmissable hints. Kate hadn’t done any of that. She’d seemed happy enough with the way things were and she surely would have mentioned it if there were any problems he wasn’t aware of…. So what else could it be?