Heart's Desire

Maddie shook her head to clear it. She was stronger than this. She couldn’t push the truth under the rug anymore, and she wasn’t one to run from a confrontation. The best way to beat a fear was to meet it head-on, vanquish it and be the conqueror. “What’s wrong with me?” she said aloud. “Why would I start hallucinating all of a sudden? I mean, what’s so special about now?”

“I can think of a few things, dearie,” Mrs. Beabots offered.

Maddie and Sarah lifted their heads and looked at their octogenarian friend. “Like what?” they asked in unison.

“This is a very critical time in your life, Maddie. Your best friend is getting married soon and you haven’t a prospect in sight. What’s more, you’ve been pushing to expand your business and get this franchising idea off the ground, but it’s been a longer process than you’d anticipated....”

“Hey, how do you know that?” Maddie demanded and looked accusingly at Sarah. “Maybe someone has a big mouth.”

“I—” Sarah began but Mrs. Beabots interrupted her.

“I have other sources than cross-your-heart Sarah, who would never betray a confidence. I know a lot of things that go on in this town, especially to those whom I love,” Mrs. Beabots replied with a haughty tilt to her chin and a twinkle in her eye. “In addition, you’re not getting any younger, Maddie Strong, and it’s high time you began beating the bushes for a beau instead of sending every prospective groom out your café door with a cynical retort and a very icy shoulder.”

Maddie graced her octogenarian friend with a smile. Mrs. Beabots’s view of life was charmingly old-fashioned, but Maddie strongly believed she would have plenty of time for love and romance after she had her business secure. Maddie’s life was happy and very full with her work and friends.

“I’m too busy for men.”

“So you say, but I wasn’t the one seeing an apparition of my former sweetheart out that window,” Mrs. Beabots concluded with the kind of sharp clip to the end of her comment that warned others that the Oracle had spoken.

Sarah’s eyes tracked from Mrs. Beabots back to Maddie, who was clearly confused and still a bit shaken by the vision or ghost or whatever it was she saw. “Maybe it was just all the excitement of these gorgeous gowns and dressing up. Maybe...”

“No, Sarah. My corset is not too tight and the dress is not so elegant that my brain went off track. I saw Nate out there. In the flesh. He’s come back. I’d know him anywhere. What I don’t know is what he’s doing here and why he would choose the very moment I’m standing in the window of Bride’s Corner in a wedding gown to stare at me?”

Mrs. Beabots nodded. “Stalking. That’s it.”

Sarah sighed deeply. “Nate is not stalking Maddie.”

“How do you know?” Mrs. Beabots asked. “I watch CSI Miami and Law and Order and even Elementary and The Mentalist. Every single one of those detective shows has a murder a month committed by a stalker. It’s quite common.” She looked from Sarah to Maddie, but neither woman appeared to be following her line of reasoning.

“Nate’s been gone for eleven years. Why would he stalk Maddie now?” Sarah asked. “Why not just come into the shop and talk to her?”

“Good point,” Mrs. Beabots answered.

Maddie looked at Sarah. “You think I was seeing things?”

“Uh-huh. I do. But don’t take my word for it. Just call his mother and ask if he’s in town.”

“What?” Maddie jumped up and put her hands on her hips. “You know she’s never liked me. Always thought I was after the Barzonni millions and that I didn’t really love her son. I wouldn’t call her if I was facing the devil himself!”

Sarah stood and put her hand on Maddie’s arm. “I know, sweetie. I know.”

Tears filled Maddie’s eyes in an instant. She crumpled into Sarah’s arms and let her friend hug her. “I don’t understand what’s the matter with me.”

“You had a shock. That’s all. The only reason you would have had such a hallucination would be if you’d been obsessing about Nate lately, and we all know that’s not true. It was probably just some look-alike.”

Maddie sniffed and straightened to look Sarah in the eyes. “Right. I haven’t been thinking about Nate. Well, not so much. I always said that if I saw him on the street I’d ignore him like he was nothing. Just like he’s done to me all these years. He told me every day in high school that he loved me. He wanted to run away to Kentucky and get married, but I was the stable one. I was the one who said we should put our careers first. He proposed right there on my doorstep on the Fourth of July. And the next day, he was gone, without a word to anyone! Anyone, Sarah!” Maddie nearly spit she was so angry. “He left me. He was able to forget me. It didn’t cause him any pain or heartache. He just took off. He wanted to see the world, he said. Guess he did. All of it! What a jerk.”

“I’m glad you remembered that aspect of his character, dearie,” Mrs. Beabots said. “He treated you shabbily and you deserve the very best, just like my sweet Sarah.”

“I agree,” Sarah said. “You know what, this just isn’t the right day to find my dress. Let’s go over to my house for a glass of wine to celebrate Valentine’s Day.”

“I thought you and Luke were going out tonight,” Mrs. Beabots said.

“Not a chance. I’m making dinner for all of us at home. I decorated the house with valentines and red lights. I have homemade heart-shaped sugar cookies for Annie and Timmy. But they won’t be over until six-thirty. We have time for a girl toast beforehand.”

“Done!” Maddie said, and started walking toward the dressing room. “I’ll be out in a jiffy,” she promised.

Sarah swished into the dressing room next to Maddie’s.

Mrs. Beabots smiled at both women, and then turned around to gaze out the front window. The sun had gone down and the street lamps were coming on. Moving closer to the pane, she craned her neck to see a tall man dressed in a double-breasted black wool coat pass under the lamp and then vanish into the dark of nightfall.

Mrs. Beabots sat back on the settee. She knew a ghost when she saw one. She’d been seeing her husband’s spirit for years. Ghosts didn’t fool her one bit, even though people often did. No, what she saw tonight was a real man.

It was Nate Barzonni.

CHAPTER FIVE (#ulink_6c0b35ff-c5be-5bf1-a9bf-04b042494ccf)

NATE BARZONNI HAD always been a man of single purpose and clear-minded goals. Never once had he thought his mind was incapable of reasoning out the best course of action for the highest possible good. He was a man of honor and conviction. He was a leader, and little swayed him off his chosen course or derailed him from his beliefs. He’d never been drunk, never used drugs, never lied or cheated. His mind was as sharp as a razor and as tight as a trap.

But that day, Nate was sure he’d lost all his senses and the entirety of his reasoning ability when he’d purposefully gone back to that bridal shop to confirm whether what he’d seen was real or a mirage. The shock of seeing Maddie Strong trying on a wedding gown was enough to rip his insides apart. No earthquake under his feet or hurricane at sea had ever unsettled him as much as the sight of her. Even after he’d walked away, when he realized she’d seen him and recognized him, he could barely put one foot in front of the other to get back to his Hummer. Climbing numbly into his vehicle, he tried to catch his ragged breath. His mouth had gone dry. He attempted to rake his hand through his hair and wipe the sweat from his brow, but his hand was shaking too much.

He’d seen beautiful women before, but the moment he saw Maddie in that wedding gown, lights glinting off the flowers in her dress like tiny fairies attending an earth angel, he thought he’d lost his mind and certainly his heart to her all over again.

She’s getting married? Nate stared at his hands as they gripped the steering wheel and his knuckles turned white.

For the past eleven years, Nate had pursued all his dreams. After literally leaving Maddie on her doorstep, he’d packed his camping duffel bag and taken the bus to Great Lakes Naval Station to enlist in the navy. He hadn’t left a note to his parents for fear they would talk him out of his decision, and to be truthful, he’d known he would have been convinced.

At eighteen, Nate had no fear of the unknown, but he was an absolute coward when it came to confrontation with his mother and father.

His loving mother, Gina, had doted on him and his three brothers all their lives. He loved her dearly and it crushed him to leave like he did, but he knew no other way. His father, Angelo, was possessive of his mother and his sons. He expected them all to carry on with the lucrative family farming business. Though each of the Barzonni boys secretly harbored their own dreams and ambitions, Angelo would not tolerate even a whisper of dissention. Their lives were to be lived Angelo’s way and only his way.

Though the navy was a six-year stint, Nate didn’t care. He would have signed up for twelve years if that had been a requirement. He wanted to leave Indian Lake behind and get on with his dream of becoming a doctor.

His only regret was leaving Maddie. But to do what he knew he needed to do for himself, he felt he had to cut all his ties to his past. Above all, Nate wanted to find out who Nate was, and to do that, he needed to disappear.

Nate declared in boot camp that he was interested in medicine and being a medic. He didn’t travel overseas, as a great deal of his fellow recruits did, but remained near Chicago, where he later went to Northwestern’s medical school, completing his internship and residency there as well.

After six weeks in boot camp, Nate buckled under to the need to call his parents and make his explanations. He wanted to be sure he was locked into his commitment to the navy before he told his parents his life plans. Because he’d graduated, he wanted them to attend the Review and be a part of his new life. He was terrified to tell them the truth. They were angry and disappointed...at first.

Nate had planned the reunion well. Being surrounded by the pomp and pageantry of the navy graduates marching in their navy whites for the Review altered his parents’ attitude considerably. His mother, Gina, especially, was overcome with love and pride for Nate and hugged him with tear-filled eyes.

From his brothers, Nate had heard the gossip about him and the fact that half the town had sided with Maddie. She’d painted him as the jerk of all time. He knew that if Maddie ever found out where he was, she would come after him, and he would cave to her. They would run away together and he would never realize his dream. She had been so right to refuse his proposal. She’d been wise and forward-thinking.

Nate asked his parents never to reveal his whereabouts to anyone in Indian Lake. No one outside the Barzonni family ever knew where Nate was or what happened to him.

Despite body-and mind-numbing days in boot camp and the years he spent in the Navy and pursuing his career, Nate never forgot Maddie, not for a single day.

Nate looked out the Hummer’s windshield to the bridal shop. Maddie. They had been so young and naive back then, but she was the only one who knew him inside and out. It was as if she held his heart in her hand and gazed into it like a crystal ball. The great mystery to him was that his heart had spoken back to her.