Sophie's Path

He pinched the bridge of his nose. This shouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake. Some cruel trick of the universe. And it was hitting Jack hard.

He wished he felt stronger because he wanted to do something. He was so confused, and Jack was seldom confused. He prided himself on his ability to stay focused. Responsible. That’s what everyone in his family had called him. He was their rock. He was the leader.

If only he could remember the accident. Maybe he could have prevented it, but the pieces of his memory were as vague as the fog he’d been driving through.

Jack watched as Nate Barzonni shuffled down the hall with a somber face, his hands shoved into the pockets of his surgical scrubs. He moved like a man carrying a cross. Jack knew Nate and Maddie Barzonni both. He was almost a daily customer at Cupcakes and Coffee. Maddie’s brew was legendary and her made-to-order cupcakes and icings were his must-have indulgence.

Jack hobbled to the entry of his bay. A sharp pain made a jagged path up his calf.

His ankle hurt more than he’d anticipated. “Nate, please. What happened?” He had so many questions.

Nate barely glanced at him, giving him a dismissive nod. Then Jack saw the raw pain in Nate’s eyes. He understood.

“Jack, I’m sorry about your assistant. Real sorry. But I have to see her parents. Is that okay?” Nate choked out the words and shook his head sorrowfully. “I can’t...not right now.”

“It’s okay,” Jack replied empathetically.

Nate gave Jack a slight wave and then practically jogged to the ER exit doors.

Jack had never seen Nate like this. How often did a doctor lose a patient? Once a year? Once a month? And Nate had lost two in a matter of minutes. How did a doctor, with years of training and the most up-to-date studies and research, handle something like this? Did they take it personally? Even if there was nothing more they could do, this had to feel like a failure. Did it affect them emotionally?

As far as Jack could tell the rest of the staff went about their work as if nothing had happened. Except for Nate, Jack hadn’t seen one iota of remorse from the other doctor or the nurses. He told himself they had work to do. Serious work. But it still stung.

Jack felt hollow. He glanced at the bed and wondered how he’d make it back under his own steam.

“Mr. Carter,” Sophie addressed him professionally as she rushed toward him. “What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be walking around yet. It’s dangerous. You have to stay in bed.”

She put her hands on his shoulders, and with more strength and force than he’d thought possible, she led him to the bed and pressed him into it. He sat on the edge, refusing to lie down.

“What happened to Aleah?” he asked.

“Cardiac arrest.”

Jack felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. Aleah’s heart was young, but that wasn’t enough to keep her alive. He lifted his eyes to Sophie.

She was composed and self-assured. Yeah, she was good. He had to give her that.

He felt hollow, yet his insides burned with the unfairness of it all.

He balled his fist. Flexed it. Balled it again.

She bent over and grabbed his ankles, favoring his sprain, and spun his legs up and onto the cot. “We have to get that CT scan. Dr. Hill is concerned...”

Jack pounded the gurney with his fist.

“Concerned? About me? He should have been concerned—” Jack nearly spit the word out “—when he had a chance to save Aleah. Maybe you should have been, too. You left her to go to that monster...that addict who killed her.”

Sophie’s jaw dropped. “How did you know he was an addict?”

Jack jerked his head toward the ER entry doors where two policemen stood talking to Dr. Hill. “Cops. They said they have to get a statement from me.”

“Not yet. You have to rest.”

“I’m not taking orders from you—”

She placed three fingers over his lips. “Shh. Don’t say something you’ll regret,” she whispered.

“Regret? I’m not the one with regrets. You let Aleah die,” he growled.

Sophie’s eyes widened with shock. “That man, that patient—” She stumbled.

Jack could see her ire rising as she continued. “He’d gone into cardiac arrest. At that very same moment, Aleah was holding on. My colleagues were stabilizing her. My judgment was that we had a chance to save them both.”

“Well, your judgment was incorrect. Your judgment was skewed.” Now that Jack’s anger was ignited, he couldn’t stop himself. “Frankly, I don’t know where your priorities are. An addict who nearly killed all three of us and did kill Aleah, made the choice to drive high. He didn’t deserve your concern, or Dr. Hill’s.” Jack was so filled with rage that he felt light-headed. He wasn’t sure if he’d made his point, so he balled his fist again and slammed it against the bed. The plastic beneath him crackled.

Jack felt woozy as he stared at his hand. How practical of hospitals to put plastic under the thin sheets. Plastic. So that the blood wouldn’t ooze through when a person bled out. Plastic protected the mattress but did nothing to save the patient. Plastic, like the black bags they used to take bodies to the morgue.

“Plastic,” Jack mumbled as he dropped his head back onto the pillow.

“Mr. Carter? Jack? Can you hear me?”

He knew his eyes were rolling around because the room was spinning.

He heard Sophie dash over to the nurse’s station.

“Doctor Hill. Stat!” she yelled into the intercom.

Jack hated that his head injury was getting in the way of his tirade. That’s exactly what it was, he realized. He was accusing the hospital and its staff of bad practice. He didn’t know if it was malpractice, but he blamed them all the same.

Aleah was dead. A terrifying fact that he knew he still hadn’t come to grips with.

“Doctor Hill, I think he’s in shock,” Sophie said, though he couldn’t see her anymore. Where did she go? She was just here a minute ago. Now the room was dark. Vacant. Like that drainage tunnel he’d been in before. That was it. He’d gone back to the place where it all started.

Maybe he’d find some answers there. Perhaps even solace.

* * *

SOPHIE TOOK JACK’S blood pressure while Dr. Hill examined him.

“He’s asleep. I would be out cold myself if I’d been through all that he has tonight. Take him down for the CT scan. He’ll wake up once he’s there.”

Sophie chewed her bottom lip as Dr. Hill straightened. “What?”

“Jack—er, Mr. Carter thinks we were negligent with Aleah. He thinks we should have let the other patient die in order to treat her.”

“Good thing Mr. Carter doesn’t run this hospital. We used our best judgment. We’re not divine. We do the best we can.” Dr. Hill touched Sophie’s shoulder. “Besides, Mr. Carter here should be singing your praises. If it hadn’t been for you getting that glass out of his eyes, he could have been severely impaired.”

“He doesn’t know that. He thinks I was simply cleaning him up.”