Fear Of Falling

But Olivia’s favorite subjects were animals. They were sweet souls that did not betray or bully unless they were hungry and on the prowl for food. That was the circle of life. That was survival. She understood that. Animals were peace and danger, calm and destruction, and they fascinated her. She strove to capture their essence in photographs though she knew it would be a lifelong, elusive effort.

She blinked, realizing Sam and Gina were staring at her strangely. “Um, anyway. I guess Liz won’t be doing much rowing this spring.”

“Don’t count her out. She told me that as soon as the doctor tells her she’s fit after the baby comes, she’ll be out there at the crack of dawn with you girls,” Sam said.

“I’m looking forward to that. You must be so excited about the baby.”

“We are!” Gina and Sam exclaimed in unison. They looked at each other and laughed.

Then just as suddenly, the smile on Gina’s face disappeared.

Olivia thought she knew why. “I’m sure Mr. Barzonni was looking forward to his first grandchild.”

Gina cleared her throat and rose. “I see you need more cream,” she said in flat, commanding tones that told Olivia not to object. “Let me help you.”

Gina took the little tray of sugar and creamer and headed for the kitchen. Sam’s eyes were glued to her. He shook himself then turned to Olivia with a crestfallen expression.

“I’ll be right back,” she told him.

Olivia found Gina with a carton of heavy cream in one hand, holding the refrigerator door open with the other.

“I’ll do it,” Olivia offered.

“Angelo didn’t sanction Gabe’s marriage to Liz, which you probably already know,” Gina began, handing her the carton. “You and your friends are all very close, aren’t you?”

“Like sisters. Closer maybe.” She shrugged. “I’m an only child, so I don’t actually know what it’s like to have siblings. My mom was always my best friend.”

Gina lifted her chin. “That’s how it is with Gabe and me. Best friends. Probably because he’s the oldest. I was thrilled about the baby. But Angelo—he carried his resentments around with him like the wallet in his back pocket. Always at hand. He was an unforgiving man in many ways.”

“But you loved him.”

“Oh, yes. That’s true. But I believe there are many kinds of love. Not all people are lucky enough to find true love. You know? Gabe and Liz. They have that. Maddie and Nate do, too. I can see the difference now that my sons are so happy.”

So that was it. The sparks that danced between Gina and Sam were romantic ones. Yet she was clearly grieving her husband deeply. Olivia had catered enough funerals to last a lifetime. She’d seen bizarre, out-of-character behavior at funerals that rivaled most reality shows. Death skewed human psyches like no other crisis.

She considered the cream. “Didn’t Mr. Crenshaw have a heart attack last fall?”

“He did,” Gina replied quietly. “It was a frightening time for Liz, as you must know.”

Olivia stepped around Gina and eased the refrigerator door wide-open. “Then maybe we should give him the fat-free half-and-half I saw in here earlier.”

Gina tilted her head and studied Olivia. “You’re observant. And thoughtful. Thank you for thinking of him like that.”

Olivia handed the cream to Gina. “He’s always meant the world to Liz. He’s a lovable man.”

“He is,” Gina replied, taking out a second cream pitcher. She glanced up at the digital clock on the microwave. “You’re about done here. Everything is cleaned up. I’ll write your check.”

“It’s okay. You can mail it.”

Gina smiled. “Would you mind doing me one last favor before you go, Olivia?”

“Not at all.” Olivia smiled. “Anything.”

Gina turned to the stove and picked up a foil-covered dinner plate. “I put this aside for Curt, but he didn’t have time to come up for supper.” Gina slipped a dish towel under the bottom of the plate.

“Curt?”

“Our horse trainer. He’s still down at the stables, and I don’t want him to leave without something to eat,” Gina said with a little shake to her head as she held the plate out to Olivia.

Olivia gulped back a lump of fear. Her eyes tracked over to the window, where she could see the lights still shining in the stable.

Olivia took the plate from Gina, hoping her hands wouldn’t shake the roast beef right off. She bit her lip; maybe physical pain would jolt her out of the memory of her father shoving wads of bills at the betting-cage teller.

“Just follow the paved bricks down there. I see that Rafe turned on the walk lights. I’d do it myself, but I—”

Olivia interrupted. “It’s no bother. Honestly, I’m happy to help.” She forced a smile.

“Oh, and when you’re down there, give a pet to my Pegasus for me, will you?” Gina put her hand to her cheek. “Silly of me. You’re not afraid of horses, are you?”

“Horses?” No, she wasn’t afraid of the most gorgeous creatures on earth. In fact, she adored them and had loved them all her life. It was the gambling they represented that she abhorred. “I like horses. They’re some of my favorite photography subjects.”

“Oh, my goodness. Then my Arabians will delight you and that talented eye of yours. My Pegasus is nearly pure white, though technically, she’s a gray. Pink skin. Blue eyes. A vision.”

“She sounds gorgeous. May I take a picture of her? I would be so grateful. I hardly ever get the chance to be around horses, though I went to Sarah Jensen’s dressage classes when we were kids.”

“You ride, then?”

“Oh, no. We couldn’t afford the lessons, but I took my little camera and photographed Sarah. The instructor always let me pet the horses and talk to them.” Olivia felt the rhapsody of those special times chime through her heart. She remembered country drives when she would cajole her mother to stop each time she saw a horse and let her take a picture. Even then, Olivia felt the conflict between loving the animals and despising the task they were forced to do. She wanted them to run free. “I’ve always wanted to learn, but I—well, I just haven’t. I have my digital camera in my car...”

“Of course, dear. Just tell Curt that I said you could visit with Pegasus.”

Olivia thanked her, and Gina left the kitchen with the cream pitchers.

Olivia took off her chef’s coat and put on the black zip-up jacket she’d brought. All day she’d had her hair clipped up on top of her head. It kept her long, thick locks out of the way, but the tight twist always gave her a slight headache by the end of the day. When she pulled out the clip, the release was instantaneous. She shook her hair out and let it fall down her back as she massaged her scalp.

“That’s better. Freedom,” Olivia said to herself as she slipped out the back door and headed for her van. Her camera was in its case on the floor of the passenger side. The rest of the van was stuffed with catering utensils and serving pieces. There was only room for her to drive.

She checked her lens and looped the wide black strap around her neck, pulling her hair out from under it.

The single door to the stable was unlocked, so Olivia turned the knob and stepped inside. “Hello? Curt?” she said as she shut the door behind her. It was considerably warmer in here than it was outside. She was surprised at how roomy the structure was. To her left were a tack room and a meeting room of some kind, with dark, wood-paneled walls, green carpet, several red plaid wing chairs with matching footstools, a brown leather sofa and a large plasma screen television. There was also a roll-top desk and shelves filled with books and framed photographs.

“Hello?” Olivia continued walking down the corridor between the horse stalls. “Gina sent you some dinner.”

At the sound of her voice, four horses came to the edge of their stalls and stuck their heads out over the closed half doors. Olivia put the plate down on a small table and moved toward them, smiling.

To her right was a midnight-black Arabian with a braided mane. He had a thick neck and wider chest than the chestnut horse in the stall next to him. Olivia placed her hand on the Arabian’s neck and said, “Aren’t you a handsome thing?” Then she noticed the nameplate on his stall. Rocky.

Olivia smiled. “I’ll bet you’re a real fighter, Rocky. The Italian stallion, huh?”