Daddy In Dress Blues

“At ease,” he told her.

She blinked at him and relaxed a bit. She should be happy. He wished she’d be happy. Hell, the kid had a bedroom fit for a princess. He’d let her pick out everything herself, partially because he didn’t have a clue what a three-year-old would like and partially to please her.

She was his daughter, but she was still a stranger to him. Maybe if he’d been in her life from the time she’d been a baby, maybe then he’d be a pro at this daddy stuff by now.

As it was, he was feeling totally out of his element here. The kid had such sad eyes. Brown like his. And she rarely smiled. She did grin when he did his Three Stooges impersonations, but he suspected that was just because she got a kick out of him making a fool of himself.

Like he had with that teacher today. For some reason she’d looked familiar to him, but he couldn’t think why. He wasn’t even sure of her name, at the time he’d been so rattled that he hadn’t been paying much attention except when she’d ordered him to stay put.

Having briefly served as a drill sergeant, he’d recognized the steel in her voice. He could clear an entire room or dismiss a group of recruits with a single barked order. He’d been careful not to use that tone of voice around Blue. And not to swear. It wasn’t easy sometimes.

As he looked around Blue’s room, a host of Disney characters stared back at him from just about every surface—from the lamp shade to the sheets. He didn’t know who the characters were, but Blue did. He’d been lucky that this two-bedroom unit had been available and in the same building as the furnished studio apartment he’d just rented on a monthly basis—before he’d known about Blue. The landlord had been willing to transfer the lease to this larger place.

“So you’re all set for bed then, right?” he said.

Blue nodded solemnly.

“Do you need anything?” he asked.

“Fooba.”

Curt reached for the grungy teddy bear propped against the foot of her bed. He’d offered to buy her a new bear but she’d insisted on keeping this mangy-looking thing. He suspected it was because her mother had given it to her.

He reached out, planning on smoothing Blue’s ruffled hair…before he chickened out and reached for the switch on the Disney lamp instead.

“Good night then,” he said.

“My shoes is shined,” Blue suddenly announced.

“I…uh…that’s nice.”

She lifted the sheet to show him the black patent leather shoes she was still wearing.

Jeez, what kind of father was he to send his kid to bed with her shoes on?

“Now they’s like yours,” she said proudly.

“Yes, they are, but even I don’t wear my shoes to bed. Let’s take them off, you little monkey.”

“I’s not a monkey,” she said solemnly. “I’s a girl.”

“You sure are.”

“Would you like me more if I’s a monkey?”

Imagining her trying to swing from the canopied bedposts, he hurriedly said, “No, I certainly would not like you better if you were a monkey.”

“Oh.” She sounded disappointed.

“I think staying a little girl is a wise move,” he said, fumbling with the sissy strap on her shoes. He felt like a bull in a china shop. His hands were so big and her little girl stuff was so tiny. The first time he’d had to help her with her clothes it had taken him an hour to get her dressed.

Finally he got the shoes off her feet and tucked neatly beneath her bed. “Okay, now you’re really ready for bed, right?”

Blue nodded.

“Good.”

“But Fooba isn’t,” she added.

Curt sighed. It was going to be another long night.

The next afternoon, Curt was once again in Jessica’s classroom, to pick up Blue after work. He was running five minutes behind schedule, but he should be able to make that up on the drive home providing he wasn’t delayed…

“Mr. Blackwell, I’d like to speak to you in private for a moment.”

The teacher. Glaring at him.

Curt sighed. There went his schedule.

Jessica heard him sigh, and the fact that he made her feel as if she was being a nuisance didn’t endear him to her any. Too bad. If he’d filled out the parental information forms about Blue’s likes and dislikes that Jessica had sent home with the little girl yesterday, then Jessica wouldn’t have to speak to him today.

No, that wasn’t entirely true. She’d still need to discuss with him what Blue had said about Curt not liking her and his having told her so. The little girl’s offhand comment had sliced Jessica’s heart. She wasn’t eager to spend any time with Curt, but she couldn’t turn her back on Blue. It was Jessica’s responsibility as her teacher to do what she could. Even if that meant dealing with Curt.

Today his marine uniform consisted of khaki green slacks and a khaki shirt. It made her wonder what he looked like in a black T-shirt and jeans. Don’t go there, she warned herself. Keep your mind on Blue.

But before she could bring up the matter of the missing forms, Curt said, “What’s the problem? Has Blue been misbehaving?”

“On the contrary,” Jessica replied. “She’s very careful not to do anything wrong.”

Curt’s relieved smile reflected his approval. “That’s good.”

“No, it’s not. Not when it means that she’s terrified of doing something wrong. She thinks you don’t like her.”

“I like the kid well enough,” Curt replied defensively, “and I never told her any differently.”

“So you never told her that you didn’t like her?”

His “No, ma’am” was a marine bark.

“Perhaps she overheard you telling someone else?” she suggested.

“No, ma’am.” His narrow-eyed gaze told her he didn’t appreciate this line of questioning.

“Have you told her that you love her?”

If she didn’t know better, she could almost have sworn that Curt actually squirmed in his seat. “No.”

“Why not? Children need to hear…”