I Miss Mummy: The true story of a frightened young girl who is desperate to go home

‘Alice is too young to know her own mind,’ Martha said as I closed the sitting-room door so we couldn’t be overheard. ‘I asked her who she wanted to live with but she didn’t answer.’

‘I think she’s completely overwhelmed with everything that’s happened,’ I said, sitting on the sofa. ‘Has Alice got a choice where she lives, then?’

‘No, but it’s always nice to hear the child’s views.’ So I thought that asking Alice who she wanted to live with had been rather a pointless exercise.

‘Alice has been talking a lot about her mother and her grandparents,’ I offered. ‘She’s very close to them. And they seem to have done a very good job parenting Alice in the past. She’s a delightful child – intelligent, well mannered and very engaging.’

Martha looked at me, mildly surprised. ‘Mum abused Alice,’ she said, as though I should have known.

‘Really? It wasn’t mentioned on the referral and Alice’s memories of her mother are all very positive.’

Martha shrugged. ‘The neighbours reported hearing Leah shouting and screaming when Alice was in the house. Coupled with Leah’s mental health problems and drug habit, there’s no chance of Alice returning to her mother, although I understand Leah says she’s kicked the drug habit now.’

‘I see,’ I said slowly. ‘And where is Leah now?’

‘Don’t know. Leah’s boyfriend took Alice to the police station. Leah is wanted by the police for abducting Alice. She’s been given forty-eight hours to hand herself in. She can’t hide forever.’

I shook my head sadly. ‘And Alice won’t be seeing her mum in the future? Even if the contact is supervised?’

‘Leah isn’t stable enough,’ Martha said. ‘The department has tried to set up a meeting with her but she won’t engage. She screams down the phone, completely out of control, and won’t listen to reason. We’re concentrating all our efforts on getting Alice settled with her father and his new wife as soon as possible.’

‘I see,’ I said again, but I was reluctant to let go of the subject of Alice’s mother. ‘And Leah isn’t on any medication to help her? I know that many people with mental health problems function very well with medication.’

‘I’ve no idea what’s she’s taking, prescribed or otherwise,’ Martha said tartly. Then she changed the subject: ‘Now, Alice’s father, Chris, and his wife, Sharon, are being assessed with a view to parenting Alice. So far the assessment has been very positive. As soon as the assessment is complete we’ll move Alice to them. They’re a nice couple and unfortunately Sharon can’t have children of her own. Alice will make them a lovely daughter. We’re in the process of re-homing them; they’re in bed and breakfast at present.’

‘Does Alice’s mother have a home?’ I asked.

‘A flat. We won’t be giving her your address, although there is no reason why Chris and Sharon shouldn’t have it, assuming you have no objection?’

‘No, that’s fine.’ Parents of a child in foster care are usually told where their child is staying unless there are concerns for the child’s safety. ‘But you’re not telling Mum where Alice is?’ I queried.

‘No, nor the grandparents, in case they pass it to Mum. There is a risk that Leah could snatch Alice again.’

I nodded. ‘Does Alice have a relationship with her father and Sharon?’ I was trying to glean as much information as I could while I had the chance. ‘She hasn’t spoken of them so far, although she chats about her mother and grandparents.’

‘From what I know, Dad didn’t have much involvement in Alice’s life before all this,’ Martha said, ‘so it’s fortunate for Alice that he wants her now. Contact with Dad and Sharon will be Tuesday and Thursday, and with the grandparents on alternate Wednesdays. Alice can also have phone contact with her grandparents on Saturdays, but I want you to monitor it. Do you have a speaker phone?’

‘Yes,’ I said, surprised she felt it was necessary. ‘I can put that phone on speaker.’ I pointed to the phone on the table in the corner of the sitting room.

‘Good. I’ve told the grandparents what they can and can’t say to Alice, and that you will stop the call if you’re not happy with anything you hear. You’re experienced enough to know what is acceptable.’

‘Yes,’ I said. While I’d monitored many phone conversations in the past it had always been in cases where a child might be frightened or intimidated by abusing parents. In all my experience as a foster carer I’d never before had to monitor the phone conversation between a child and what appeared to be loving grandparents.

‘Is there a suggestion the grandparents have abused Alice?’ I asked.

‘No, not at all, but they’re in cahoots with Leah, and we need to know what they’re saying. The grandparents haven’t been entirely honest with us, so we’re not taking any chances.’ Martha didn’t elaborate and it wasn’t for me to press for more details. She then passed me a handwritten sheet of paper with the contact arrangements: the address of the family centre where Alice would be seeing her dad and grandparents, and the grandparents’ telephone number.

‘Have you been able to print off the placement agreement form?’ I asked.

Martha shook her head. ‘The computer is still down. I’ll leave a note on the file that you haven’t received the placement form or the essential information form. I’m off the case now.’

‘Oh, are you? That’s a pity. Alice will have to get to know a new social worker. Do you know who it will be?’

‘No, but whoever it is will print out the forms you need when the system is up and running again. I think that’s everything.’ She made a move to go.

‘Have you told Alice she won’t be seeing her mother?’ I asked.

‘I’ve told her it’s not possible at present, but that she’ll be seeing lots more of her dad and Sharon to make up for it.’

‘And what did Alice say?’

‘Nothing. She just looked at me with those amazingly large eyes. She’s a very attractive child, but far too young to understand.’

I went with Martha to her car, where we lifted two large suitcases from the boot – Alice’s possessions from her grandparents. We took them into the hall and then Martha called ‘Goodbye, Alice,’ up the stairs. There was no response.

‘She’s playing with Lucy and Paula,’ I said. ‘Shall I fetch her so she can say goodbye? I don’t expect she’ll see you again if you’re off the case.’

‘No, there’s no need. She hasn’t known me very long. Just say I said good luck.’

I saw Martha out and closed the front door. Then I went upstairs to check everyone was all right. Far from playing with Lucy and Paula, as I’d assumed, and far from ‘being too young to understand’, as Martha had assumed, Alice had understood that she wouldn’t be seeing her mother and was completely distraught. I found her sitting on the bed in her room, sobbing quietly, with Lucy and Paula either side, trying to comfort her.

‘She wants her mummy,’ Paula said as soon as I entered. She looked close to tears herself.

‘That old bag told her she couldn’t see her mum,’ Lucy said bitterly, referring to the social worker.

‘Lucy,’ I cautioned. ‘That won’t help. Let me try to explain to Alice.’

I sat on her bed and took Alice on to my lap, with the girls either side of me, and held her until she was calm enough to hear what I was saying. Although I couldn’t give Alice false hope, I could at least try to explain and also focus on the positive. I explained that Mummy wasn’t well enough to see her at present but that she was being looked after, so there was nothing for her to worry about. I emphasized that she would be seeing and phoning her grandparents, and she would also be seeing lots more of her dad and Sharon.

‘I don’t want my dad and Sharon,’ Alice said fretfully. ‘I want my mummy and Nana.’

‘There! Told you!’ Lucy put in.

‘Why can’t she see her mum?’ Paula asked.

‘Alice’s mother is unwell,’ I said, looking pointedly at Paula and Lucy. ‘She isn’t up to it at present. But Alice will be seeing her grandparents and I’m sure they’ll tell Alice how her mummy is.’

Lucy snorted. ‘Oh yeah. Right. In supervised contact?’ she said cynically, having experienced supervised contact. ‘As soon as her gran mentions her mum she’ll be stopped from saying anything. You’re not allowed to talk about other people at contact, especially those connected with the case.’ While there was an element of truth in this, Lucy was exaggerating the situation and her attitude wasn’t helping Alice, who was now crying again.

‘It will be fine for your nana to tell you that Mummy is OK,’ I reassured Alice. ‘And when I next speak to your social worker I’ll ask if we can have a photograph of Mummy, and I’ll frame it, and we’ll put it on that shelf.’ I pointed to the bookshelf in the recess by her bed.

Alice brightened a little. ‘And can I have a photograph of Nana and Grandpa?’

‘Yes. And they can all watch over you while you sleep.’ Alice finally wiped her eyes. I always try to obtain photographs of the child’s parents (or main carers) as soon as possible after a child arrives. It is surprising just how much comfort having these photographs gives a child, and the child often kisses the photograph goodnight.

‘Why don’t you phone the social worker now and ask her to get them?’ Paula asked.

‘Martha is leaving the case, so as soon as we have a new social worker I’ll ask.’