Please Don’t Take My Baby

‘Can I think about it?’

‘Unfortunately no. They need a decision straightaway. Jade’s mother has thrown her out and Jade spent last night in Meryl’s bed while Meryl slept on the sofa. But Meryl’s husband is back tonight from a business trip and they don’t have a spare bedroom.’

‘I see,’ I said again. I felt sorry for Jade: it was bad enough to be pregnant at seventeen but to have no family support must be devastating. ‘And the social services will have found her a mother-and-baby carer before the baby is born?’

‘Yes. Absolutely.’

‘All right then, Jill,’ I said with a small flush of relief. ‘I’ll do what I can to help her. I’ll be pleased to.’

‘Great. I’ll tell Rachel, her social worker.’

‘I thought Meryl said Jade wasn’t having anything to do with the social services?’ I queried.

‘To be honest, Jade hasn’t got much choice,’ Jill said. ‘Rachel is already involved with the family and although Jade is adamant she wants to keep the baby, she’s going to have to prove she can look after it properly. Otherwise it will be taken into care.’

While this seemed harsh, it was in the best interest of the baby; babies are fragile, vulnerable little beings and if parenting goes badly wrong there is often no second chance.

‘Jade needs to start cooperating with the social services,’ Jill added. ‘She also needs their help. I think she’s starting to realize that.’

‘Good. So when do I meet Jade?’

‘I’ll phone Rachel now and tell her you’ve agreed to look after her, and then I’ll get back to you with more details. I think we’ll probably move Jade in late this afternoon or early evening. I want to be there and obviously Rachel will need to be there too. Are you in today, apart from the school run?’

‘Yes. I can be.’

‘I’ll phone you as soon as I’ve spoken to Rachel, then. Thanks, Cathy.’

‘You’re welcome.’

We said goodbye and as I replaced the receiver I felt a frisson of excitement: a new child and a new challenge. Although Jade wasn’t exactly a child, and she would only be staying with me for a short while, I would do all I could to help her. I felt sure she would benefit from some stability in her life and my TLC (tender loving care), which I prided myself on offering to all the children I looked after, and wouldn’t go amiss even with a teenager. A wiser, more experienced teen carer might have asked some appropriate questions – for example, about Jade’s boyfriend, the father of her unborn baby, and what involvement, if any, he would be having in Jade’s life. But for me at that moment, elated by the prospect of doing all I could to help Jade, such questions never crossed my mind.

Leaving the hall, I jogged up the stairs and to the spare bedroom to make some last-minute changes so that it was suitable for when Jade arrived and she felt comfortable. I didn’t think she’d mind the soft toys dotted around the room, but I removed the toy box. Then I changed the duvet cover and pillowcase, replacing the pictures of Batman with plain pale yellow. Satisfied the room was clean and welcoming, I returned downstairs. As a foster carer and an individual I try not to be judgemental, and if I thought Jade was far too young to be having a baby and that she should have been more careful I didn’t dwell on it. Who knew what past experience had brought Jade to this point in her life and self-righteous recrimination is never helpful. My role was to look after Jade and her unborn baby, which I intended to do to the best of my ability, and if she left me feeling less alone and better able to face the world then I would be delighted.

Jill telephoned again two hours later, by which time I had vacuumed the carpets, dusted the shelves, tidied the house and begun the preparation of the spaghetti bolognese for dinner. Although it was only lunchtime, I knew from experience that when a new child arrives time evaporates; I’d been caught out before by suddenly finding it was seven o’clock and no dinner was ready. Now, having been fostering for eleven years, I was better prepared. However, the only news Jill had was that she didn’t know when Jade would be arriving, as Rachel hadn’t been able to contact her. Apparently Jade wasn’t in school and Meryl didn’t know where she was.

‘I’ll phone as soon as I know more,’ Jill said.

Such uncertainty isn’t unusual in fostering, so I wasn’t fazed. Plans change and I knew enough about teenagers to know that their timekeeping was fluid and their appointment keeping variable.

As the afternoon was cold but bright I put the washing on the line to dry, and then with some time to spare I began a new fostering folder in preparation for Jade’s arrival. In this would go the forms the social worker would bring with her, as well as the daily record all foster carers have to keep of the child they are looking after. This includes medical, education and social-care appointments, any significant events, details of contact and the child’s general disposition. This record keeping allows the child’s progress to be monitored so that additional help can be accessed if necessary. The notes are confidential and when the child leaves the foster carer they are placed on the child’s file at the social services. Even though Jade would be with me for only a short while I had to start a file, although I couldn’t include much at present other than her name, age and today’s date. More information would follow with the social worker when she placed Jade.

Having heard no more from Jill that afternoon, I left the house at 3.00 to collect Paula from school. Adrian, as normal, would make his own way home from secondary school; usually he walked with his friends. I knew I needed to prepare both children for Jade’s arrival. Although they were used to children suddenly appearing and starting to live with us, a heavily pregnant teenager was something different – as new to them as it was for me.

I took the opportunity to talk to Paula on the way home. Once she’d finished telling me her news from her day at school, I said: ‘Jill phoned today and she’s asked us if we can look after a teenage girl for about a month.’

‘Good, I’m pleased we’re having a girl,’ Paula said. She always preferred fostering girls so that she had someone to play with, while Adrian preferred boys for the same reason, although in the end they usually all played together, and of course we had no choice as to which sex the child would be: it was a matter of which child needed a foster home.

‘Yes, a big girl,’ I said. ‘She’s seventeen.’

‘Will she still want to play with me?’ Paula asked.

‘I am sure she will sometimes, although she’ll need a lot of rest. She’s expecting a baby.’

Paula went quiet for a moment and I could almost hear her thought processes ticking. I would wait for her next question rather than rush in.

‘Is the daddy coming to live with us too?’ Paula asked. Aged eight, Paula knew that babies had daddies, although they didn’t always live with their child.

‘No. It will just be Jade,’ I confirmed.

‘And the baby is still in her tummy?’

‘Yes. That’s right.’

‘Will it come out while she’s living with us?’ Paula asked, pulling a face. She also knew where babies came from and that giving birth was a messy business, from seeing baby rabbits being born.

‘No. Jade will leave us before the baby is born,’ I said. ‘Although there’s nothing to be squeamish about. Giving birth is perfectly natural.’

‘I’d rather be a bird and lay eggs,’ Paula said.

I smiled. ‘And have to build a nest each year? And then sit on the eggs until they hatch?’

Paula laughed and then fell silent again. I could see she was thinking again. ‘Do teenagers normally have babies?’ she asked. ‘Our teacher said you had to be an adult.’

‘It’s best to be an adult,’ I said, ‘although a teenager can have a baby. But it’s a big responsibility, so it’s much better to wait until you are older and have a nice home and a husband to help you.’ It might have sounded as though I was lecturing Paula, but I thought it was important she knew what was generally considered the better option. Paula was young and impressionable and looked up to older girls. I didn’t want her using Jade as a role model; pregnant at seventeen with nowhere to live – what mother would?

We’d just got home when the telephone rang. It was Jill. She said that Jade had been found and was now with her social worker, Rachel, and they would be with us at about five o’clock. Jill also said she was aiming to be with us just before then. As my support social worker, whenever possible she was present when a child was placed – to check the paperwork and that I had everything I needed to look after the child, and generally to be supportive and give advice where necessary.

Adrian arrived home at 4.30, and as he helped himself to a glass of milk and a banana I quickly brought him up to date.

‘Is that the girl that teacher wanted us to have?’ he asked. After Meryl had left the evening before, Adrian and Paula had asked what she’d wanted and I’d briefly told them.

‘Yes, the same one,’ I said. ‘Meryl – the teacher – phoned the social services first thing this morning. I’ve said we’ll look after Jade just for a month, until they’ve found her somewhere else to live.’

Adrian nodded and, having finished his snack, went off to play with his Nintendo in his room, which was far more interesting than a teenage girl coming to stay. Paula watched some children’s television. Then at 4.50 the doorbell rang and it was Jill. Paula knew we would need the sitting room and scampered off upstairs to play – either with Adrian or in her own room. Jill called hi to her and then came with me into the kitchen while I made her a cup of coffee.

Jill didn’t have any more details about Jade, so we’d have to wait until Rachel arrived with Jade. We went through to the sitting room with the coffee and Jill commented that snow was forecast, and also that it was good of Meryl to take such an interest in Jade. I agreed, although I didn’t tell Jill that Meryl’s interest was partly due to her having experienced something similar, as I thought she’d told me that in confidence.

At just gone 5.00 the doorbell rang and, feeling a little nervous and apprehensive, I left the sitting room and went down the hall to answer it. As I opened the front door the cold air rushed in.

‘Hello.’ I smiled. ‘I’m Cathy.’

‘Hello, I’m Rachel,’ the social worker said, shaking my hand and stepping into the hall first. ‘This is Jade, and this is Tyler, Jade’s boyfriend.’

‘It’s nice to meet you.’ I smiled again. Then, without thinking, I added to Tyler: ‘I wasn’t expecting you.’

‘No, neither was I,’ Rachel said pointedly.

‘I wanted him here,’ Jade put in a little grumpily.