I Miss Mummy: The true story of a frightened young girl who is desperate to go home

I heard the front door close as the duty social worker returned from his car. ‘Could you stay with Alice for a moment while I speak to the social worker?’ I asked the girls. ‘I shouldn’t be too long.’

It wasn’t a question that needed answering. Lucy and Paula immediately took over, Lucy soothing Alice’s forehead as I had been doing, while Paula took hold of her little hand, which still lay against her chin.

‘I’m just going downstairs to speak to the man who brought you here,’ I said to Alice. ‘Lucy and Paula will stay with you.’ While it might have been obvious to us and an older foster child what was happening, it wouldn’t necessarily have been obvious to a traumatized four-year-old, who might have thought I was disappearing for good and that Lucy and Paula would follow me, leaving her alone in a strange room.

Alice’s gaze briefly flickered to me as I stood, and then returned to Lucy and Paula.

Downstairs I found the duty social worker already in the sitting room, seated in the armchair and using his briefcase to rest on as he completed a form.

‘What’s your full name, and postcode?’ he asked as I entered, his terseness returning. I told him. ‘And I placed Alice at ten twenty-five p.m. on 25 March,’ he said, glancing at his watch.

I nodded and sat on the sofa.

‘Who else is in the house?’

‘Just my children and me,’ I said, surprised.

‘I need their names for this form.’

‘Adrian, Lucy and Paula. Lucy is my foster daughter.’

‘And their ages?’

‘Fourteen, twelve and ten.’

He wrote, and then asked: ‘No husband or partner?’

‘No.’ Had Alice been placed during the day, all this information should have been available, supplied by Jill or the social services, but without access to the file I assumed he was completing a placement form for his agency.

He wrote some more, I didn’t know what, and then put the form in his briefcase and snapped the lid shut. ‘Alice’s social worker will contact you on Monday,’ he said and stood, ready to go.

‘Do you not have any other information about Alice?’ I asked quickly.

‘No. Don’t you?’

‘All I have is the original referral, which doesn’t say much. Do you know if Alice has an allergies or special needs?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said with a shrug, ‘so we’ll have to assume she doesn’t, although I should go easy on the peanut butter.’ I didn’t appreciate his stab at humour. Even if a child arrives in the middle of the night as an emergency I’m usually told of anything that could affect the child’s health like allergies or asthma. And given that Alice’s move to me hadn’t been an emergency but had been planned (although it had gone badly wrong at the end, with Alice being snatched), I’d have thought Martha would have had time to print out the essential information and leave it with the duty social worker – or was that expecting too much?

‘I’ve got to go,’ the duty social worker said, heading towards the sitting room door. ‘A runaway teenager has been found on the other side of the county. I’m the only one on call to collect him.’

I nodded, but while I sympathized with his obviously very heavy workload, my concerns were with Alice, and I persisted in trying to find out more about her background that might help me to look after her. ‘Who took Alice to the police station?’ I asked, following him down the hall.

‘Mum’s boyfriend, I think,’ he returned over his shoulder; then, hand on the doorknob, he let himself out.

‘Goodnight,’ I called after him as he went down the front path, but he didn’t reply. He was already taking his mobile from his jacket pocket and answering the next call.

‘Yes, I’m on my way,’ he snapped. ‘But I can’t be in two places at the same time.’ I thought that if I ever won the jackpot on the lottery I’d use some of the money to fund more social workers so they could do their jobs properly and didn’t have to be in two places at the same time.

Chapter Four (#ulink_9c9a9b2a-051b-597f-8a3d-afe5de6c589c)

Normal? (#ulink_9c9a9b2a-051b-597f-8a3d-afe5de6c589c)

Upstairs again, I joined Lucy and Paula at Alice’s bedside. I stood for a few moments gazing down at Alice as Lucy stroked her forehead and Paula held her hand. Alice’s expression still held the same wide-eyed bewilderment and amazement, but I thought she looked slightly less anxious, and at least she wasn’t crying. The girls were talking to her gently, telling her their names again and that she would be staying with us for a while, and reassuring her it was a nice house and she would be happy. Alice stared at them with her big brown eyes, occasionally shifting her gaze from one to the other, as she had to me when I’d come into the room, but she didn’t speak.

Nestled beneath the duvet and pink blanket, with only her little face peering out, she reminded me of a little babushka doll, swaddled, with her cheeks red against her pale skin. I was going to leave the pink blanket on her bed, for although it wasn’t needed for warmth (she had the duvet), I assumed the blanket was familiar to her and would therefore be a source of comfort now everything else was unfamiliar. But I wondered where the blanket had come from, for Alice had been staying with her grandparents when she’d been snatched, and according to the duty social worker, she’d been taken to the police station by her mother’s boyfriend. I’d no idea where he lived or how he fitted into Alice’s life.

Adrian’s bedroom door opened and he appeared in the doorway of Alice’s room in his pyjamas and dressing-gown. ‘Mum, do you know it’s nearly eleven o’clock?’

I nodded. ‘Come and say hello to Alice. Then we’d all better try and get some sleep.’

At fourteen years of age I’m sure Adrian would have preferred it if a boy his own age had come to stay, but when he saw Alice his face melted. ‘Hi, Alice,’ he said with a little wave. ‘I’m Adrian.’

Alice’s eyes flickered from the girls to him and the briefest of smiles crossed her lips.

‘She likes you,’ Paula exclaimed, and I wondered if Alice’s extended family had included a boy of Adrian’s age with whom she’d had a close bond, so she now felt comfortable with Adrian. I knew from the referral that Alice didn’t have any siblings; perhaps there’d been a cousin, or perhaps her mother’s boyfriend had helped in her care?

‘Adrian is my son,’ I explained to Alice. ‘He lives here too.’

Alice’s eyes darted to me and then returned to Adrian. He smiled and waved again and she smiled back. The four of us then stood for a moment, grouped around the bed, gazing down at Alice. The poor child was the star attraction but she didn’t seem to mind.

‘I think we need to get some sleep soon,’ I said presently, as reluctant as the children were to leave.

Adrian made a move first and, giving Alice another little wave, said, ‘Goodnight, Alice.’ Alice’s gaze followed him out of the room.

‘And you two,’ I said to Lucy and Paula, who I’m sure would have happily spent all night with Alice, petting and reassuring her.

‘Goodnight,’ they said at last, and took it in turns to kiss her forehead.

Alice’s big round eyes blinked, her long dark lashes dusting her cheek like a butterfly’s wing. ‘They’re going to their bedrooms to sleep now,’ I explained to Alice. ‘You’ll see them in the morning.’

Lucy and Paula kissed Alice again and, with more goodnights, finally moved away from her bed. Alice’s gaze followed them until they were out of her line of vision and they left her room.

‘OK, love,’ I said gently to Alice, leaning over the bed. ‘I want you to try and get some sleep. You must be very tired. I’ll leave your bedroom door open a little so I can hear you if you wake in the night. Do you usually sleep with your light on or off?’ Although I didn’t expect a reply – Alice was too overwhelmed to make a decision about lighting – I always ask the children I foster this on their first night, for so many are afraid of the dark. ‘I’ll leave the light on low,’ I said. ‘Is that all right?’

Her big eyes blinked, but she didn’t say anything.

‘All right, pet, I’ll see you in the morning. I’m going to my bed now.’ I kissed her forehead, tucked her in and moved away from the bed.

She watched me as I walked slowly to the door and I smiled. ‘Night, love. See you in the morning.’

Dimming the light to a level that allowed her to see but wouldn’t keep her awake, I said a final goodnight and came out, leaving the door half open. I waited on the landing, expecting her to cry out now she was alone, but she didn’t. She was very quiet and didn’t make a sound. From where I stood on the landing, with her door half open, I could see her, although she couldn’t see me unless she turned her head. She lay on her back, very still, and as I watched, her long eyelashes flickered and then closed in sleep. She was utterly exhausted, which was hardly surprising considering what she had been through.

I now crept along the landing and into Paula’s room to kiss her goodnight.

‘I feel so sorry for Alice,’ Paula said as I perched on the bed, her face clouding. ‘She’s so little to be without her mummy.’

‘I know, love, but we’ll look after her and make sure she’s all right.’