Come Home, Cowboy

Did he not realize how hard this would be for her?

She glanced at Nathan, smashing the last bite of hot dog into his plate rather than eating it. Kimberly had started stirring and would whimper any second. Most babies her age cried when they woke from a nap.

Cara wanted to run and not stop until she was a thousand miles away. She also wanted to hold Kimberly. The two longings waged a war inside her. Eventually, one prevailed.

Going to the carrier, she undid the straps and lifted the baby into her arms. A splendid feeling washed over her. Cara cradled the baby close as tears filled her eyes. She wondered if they were tears of sorrow or joy.

“All right,” she murmured and gently rocked the baby. “We have a deal.”

Chapter Four (#ulink_cf4a7ae3-e256-5f13-9df4-0d07d067cd3a)

Nathan had decided to help Josh unpack. As a result, clothes and toys littered the bedroom floor. And now the boy was constructing diaper towers of varying heights.

“Come on, buddy.” Josh tucked Kimberly in the crook of his arm. For once, she wasn’t crying. “Time to clean up this mess.”

“I almost done, Daddy.”

Josh should have been grateful. Mess aside, the diaper project had kept Nathan occupied and out of trouble for the past thirty minutes.

Hold on. Making a mess was getting into trouble. Oh, well. It beat emptying the bottom cupboards, which was what Nathan had done when they first got up this morning at seven.

That was late for Josh. Typically, he rose earlier. But he’d been exhausted last night, falling into bed—make that onto the pullout couch—and sleeping poorly. Taking care of two young children was hard work. Not that he hadn’t been alone with them for long stretches before now. But it had been a while ago, and he hadn’t been in the midst of moving. Also, Nathan had become considerably more rambunctious and Kimberly more demanding, if that was possible.

Laying Kimberly on the changing table, he quickly nabbed the diaper at his feet. He was ready to put it on when he realized he had the wrong size. This was one of Nathan’s diapers and considerably larger than Kimberly’s.

“Son, what did you do with your sister’s diapers?”

Kimberly started crying again, probably because she was cold, what with her bottom half-undressed. Darn, but the apartment was chilly.

“Here.” Nathan patted the top of a crooked diaper tower.

“Can you bring me one, please?” Josh kept a hand pressed on Kimberly’s stomach. She’d started kicking her legs, and he was afraid she might roll over the railing and off the table. “Hurry.”

Nathan took his time selecting the perfect diaper.

“Any one of them will do, son.”

Nathan handed him a diaper and Josh quickly put it on Kimberly. Aware that it sagged on one side, Josh nonetheless slipped his daughter into a pair of pink sweatpants and wrestled socks onto her feet. The kitten faces on the sock toes seemed to fascinate her. She stopped crying and lifted one foot for closer examination.

Josh cringed. How could she twist herself like that and not pop a joint out of place?

“Hungry, Daddy.” Nathan tugged on the hem of Josh’s white undershirt.

Somewhere in the messy living room was the shirt he hadn’t had time to throw on yet this morning. “Give me a minute, okay?”

“Where’s Mommy?”

Josh paused in the middle of cradling a now fully dressed Kimberly in his arms. Nathan had asked this question at least five times in the past day.

“Mommy’s gone to a special place, remember? She’ll be there for a while. Until she feels better.” Josh hadn’t told Nathan about his mother agreeing to continued outpatient services along with residency in a halfway house. His son wouldn’t understand.

“She’s sick?”

They started walking toward the kitchen, Josh bouncing a whining Kimberly. He imagined she was hungry, too. “That’s right, son. And when she’s better, she’ll come visit you. Or I’ll take you to see her.”

“I miss her.”

Josh ruffled Nathan’s hair. “I know.”

Trista wasn’t always the best mother. Frequently high on pain pills and lost in a haze, she’d neglected the kids. On the other hand, she had sober days. Trista with a clear head doted on her children and lavished them with affection. It wasn’t any wonder Nathan missed her.

“I miss her, too, son.”

Funny thing, Josh did miss Trista. Not the woman she was today, but the one he’d met and fallen in love with. Unfortunately, he’d lost that Trista years ago in the car accident.

He’d been at the Payson Rodeo. They’d celebrated their anniversary the weekend before. Sure, that first year had been tough, but didn’t most newlyweds go through an adjustment period? Truth be told, they hadn’t known each other long before eloping to Vegas. Just five months.

The call had come in right after he’d qualified for the calf roping finals. Trista had been driving home from work and was struck by a vehicle running a red light. The other driver was cited and, luckily, “No one was seriously hurt.”

Josh could still remember the police officer saying those words to him during the phone call. He’d recall them during Trista’s worst bouts with addiction and think, not seriously hurt?

She’d suffered a broken nose and fractured cheek from colliding with the air bag, in addition to a wrenched back and whiplash. Trista, it turned out, was slow to recover and in constant pain. Standard treatments hadn’t helped. Pain pills were the only thing to provide relief.