A Baby For The Deputy

“Hey, hey,” Joanna protested. “Don’t get mad. I think what you and Mel have is great. More couples should be as open-minded as you two.”

“Yeah.” Except, what Aaron and Mel had didn’t feel open-minded to him.

“Something wrong?” Joanna asked.

“I don’t know.” He blew out a long breath. “Lately, I’ve been thinking she deserves more than casual hookups.”

“Did she say so?”

“No.”

“Are you tired of the arrangement?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think.”

Joanna gave a delighted gasp. “You love her.”

He gave a start and steadied his free hand on the steering wheel. “I wouldn’t say that.” Not yet, anyway. “I like her. A lot.”

“Well, you should like the person you’re sleeping with.”

“Am I being a jerk? Taking her for granted?” It was the opinion he’d recently formed of himself.

“Come on. You and Mel have an arrangement. A good, sensible arrangement that works. Neither of you are ready or in a position for all the demands of a committed relationship. Yet, you’re human, and human beings require intimacy. You and she have come up with a creative solution. You get together a couple times a month for a few discreet hours of adult pleasure. No strings attached. It’s perfect.”

“Spoken like a psychology major.”

“Spoken like a feminist,” she said, correcting him. “I wish I could find someone with your progressive attitude. Beats being single.”

His sister was the only person Aaron had told about his and Mel’s secret arrangement, and there were days he wished he hadn’t.

Cripes, what was wrong with him? There was nothing sordid or dirty or wrong about what he and Mel did. She was completely on board. In fact, she’d been the one to originally suggest it. Yes, in a roundabout way, but not so subtle that Aaron hadn’t understood and, after a long, emotional tug-of-war with himself, agreed.

She was beautiful and smart and as sexy as hell. When they were alone, she displayed the kind of passion he’d always hoped to find in a woman. Which only increased the guilt eating away at him. He could and did tell himself he wasn’t being disloyal to Robin. She’d been gone nearly three years.

His heart argued differently, insisting he was dishonoring his late wife’s memory. Aaron’s mother-in-law would agree.

“Mel should be with a guy who can offer her more,” he said to Joanna. “A guy who’s emotionally free.”

“If that was what she wanted, she’d give you the boot.”

“Sometimes, I wish she would.” Then he could stop wanting what he couldn’t have and beating himself up over it.

“You’re worried about Nancy,” Joanna said, “and you shouldn’t be.”

“If she ever found out—”

“What? She’d leave? Go home to Ohio?”

“I don’t want that. She loves Kaylee, and Kaylee loves her.”

“If Nancy left, that would be her choice and her mistake to make.”

Aaron rubbed his suddenly throbbing forehead. His arrangement with Mel was supposed to be without strings and without angst, yet it wasn’t. In hindsight, they’d been silly and stupid.

He had, anyway. Truthfully, Aaron wasn’t entirely sure how Mel felt about him. She didn’t talk about it. Ever. And she didn’t encourage him to, either.

“You’re single,” Joanna continued. “It’s not fair that Nancy expects you to remain that way for the rest of your life.”

“Isn’t it?”

“You aren’t betraying Robin.”

“I made a promise to her,” he bit out.

“To never fall in love again?”

“To devote myself to Kaylee. I owe Robin that much. She gave up her life for our daughter.”

Joanna’s voice softened. “You couldn’t save her, Aaron. No one could. At best, she might have lived a few more months. And you probably wouldn’t have had Kaylee. A lot of people, me included, think she made the right decision.”

That didn’t lessen his loss, relieve his guilt or diminish his hurt.

A few weeks after learning she was pregnant, Robin began having severe headaches that over-the-counter pain relievers wouldn’t touch. Two weeks later, she was seeing a specialist and undergoing all manner of tests. Aaron would never forget sitting in the doctor’s office and hearing the diagnosis: inoperable brain tumor. And then hearing the prognosis: terminal.

Robin refused any treatment that might have extended her life because it would harm the baby. At thirty-four weeks pregnant, she’d delivered a small but healthy baby girl. Unfortunately, it was too late for her. The treatments she’d previously refused had no effect on her rapidly growing tumor, and she lost the battle when Kaylee was just a few weeks old.

Robin’s wish to be a mother had been fulfilled and, in the process, she’d given Aaron a last precious gift. He would do nothing to jeopardize Kaylee’s safety and happiness.

“Why don’t you talk to Mel,” Joanna suggested. “If you’re having doubts.”

“Or, I could just end things.”

“You could. Except that isn’t what you want.”

Should he tell his sister what he really wanted was to date Mel and not just sleep with her? No, Joanna would have a field day with that one, and Aaron wasn’t in the mood.

“Pickle, can I call you later? I’m almost at my next stop.” Not entirely a lie; the Sanfords were less than a mile down the road.

“Tomorrow. I’ve got plans later,” she added with a teasing tone.

“Have fun.”

“Oh, I intend to.” She laughed again.

Aaron disconnected, his thoughts a jumble. He really did like Mel and hated the thought of ending things. But he was being grossly unfair to her. She may think she preferred whatever this was they had, but deep down, she was a forever and ever kind of gal. Aaron wasn’t fooled for one minute.

A quarter mile up the road, he spied an older model pickup and rusty horse trailer pulled off to the south side of the road. The truck hood was up, signaling trouble, and someone sat in the driver’s seat.