The Cowboy's Pride

“Would you like something to drink?” Helen asked. “I’ve got a pot of coffee still on.”

“No, thank you. I think we’re just going to sit down in the parlor and wait for Clay.”

Helen nodded and then looked Trish over as if just noticing her state of dishevelment. “If I can do anything for you, let me know.”

How about a course in Motherhood 101? Trish could write a book about what she didn’t know about raising a baby. Every spare moment she’d managed this month had been spent poring over parenting books.

“I will. And Helen, it’s really good to see you.”

The woman smiled. “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.”

Trish entered the parlor and stopped short. Her breath caught in her throat, her shoulders sagged. Hurtful memories entered her mind and threatened to exhaust the last shred of her energy. She hadn’t expected this, to feel such overwhelming sadness. She’d put the divorce on hold for nearly a year, unable to face the failure, but now, being here and stepping into this room again after all this time, brought everything back.

She and Clay had argued—it had become nearly impossible not to during those days—right before she left for an overnight business trip. Trish had come home later that evening when the trip was unexpectedly canceled. With makeup sex on her mind, she strode into the parlor eager to see her husband and put a happy ending on the evening.

She found Clay with Suzy Johnson. On the sofa. Together. Intimately sipping wine and quietly laughing about God only knows, some private joke they’d probably shared. Everything about that scene screamed “wrong” in a marriage already precariously holding on by a thread. And the last thing she’d needed was the hometown girl, a Worth family friend, hovering, waiting in the wings for a chance at Clay.

Trish ground her teeth, reminding herself that she couldn’t dwell on that now. She couldn’t look back. She took a seat, spreading out the baby’s blanket and then laid the baby down. Meggie stared up at her with sparkling eyes, kicking her legs like an exercise guru, happy to be stretching out. That’s when Trish saw moisture leaking from the baby’s bloomers.

“Oh, darn,” she muttered. She’d left the diaper bag in the taxi. She chewed on her lower lip again and shook her head. She had more-than-average intelligence, but Trish couldn’t have predicted in a thousand years how difficult being a single mom would be.

Motherhood was kicking her butt.

“Have patience with me, sweet baby. I’m still learning.”

Just then Clay strode into the room with his usual confident swagger, and her heartbeats sped watching him move across the floor. His jaw tight, and his face flawlessly chiseled from granite, Trish had almost forgotten how handsome he was. She’d almost forgotten his raw sensuality. That and his innate charm had turned her head, even though she’d fought it tooth and nail in the beginning of their relationship. Because while she had refused Clayton Worth’s romantic advances, she hadn’t refused to represent him as his publicist and she’d taken him on as a client. Landing a country superstar even in the final stages of his music career had been a big deal and she’d never mixed business with pleasure. But Clay had other ideas, setting his sights on her. Once she’d stopped resisting the irresistible, she’d fallen deeply in love.

“You’re the perfect woman for me,” he’d say, before covering her body with his and bringing them both … perfection. And she’d actually believed it for a while.

He came to a halt a few feet in front of her, a pink polka-dot diaper bag gripped in his hand. “Is this what you need?”

Her gaze traveled from the tight fit of his blue jeans, to a shining silver belt buckle with the famous W brand, up the wide expanse of his blue chambray shirt to his throat and the hairs that peeked out from underneath the collar. She’d loved to kiss that part of his throat and nibble her way up to his mouth. She lifted her gaze further to meet with russet-brown eyes that seemed to peer into her soul. At one time, he could melt her heart with just one of those penetrating looks. She wondered if he was melting Suzy Johnson’s heart now.

“Oh, uh, yes. Thank you.”

He set the diaper bag down near the sofa and then sat opposite her on a wing chair. Leaning in, he braced his arms on his knees. With a no-holds-barred expression, he asked, “Are you ready to tell me what’s going on?”

She’d procrastinated telling Clay about Meggie partly because she could hardly believe it herself and partly because she knew how much Clay had wanted his own family. To her knowledge, no one had ever really denied Clay anything. He’d hit country music stardom at a young age and had retired in this mid-thirties to run the Worth empire. He was wealthy, good-looking and admired, a man used to having things on his own terms. Trish often thought of him as the golden boy. Everything in his life had come easy, whereas the opposite had been true for her.

She’d worked hard to build her career, putting her whole heart into it. When Clay moved to the ranch, she’d kept her business in Nashville and split her time between the two places. At the time, he seemed to understand the situation. But having a baby then would have meant Trish having to give up her dream.

As a child, her parents had been so intent on saving her brother from the cancer threatening his life that Trish’s needs and wants had been neglected. Every moment and every ounce of their energy went into keeping her younger brother alive. Trish had learned early on to fend for herself and to ward off the neglect by becoming self-reliant and independent. She’d clung to the things that made her strong, her schooling for one, and later, her small thriving business. The thought of letting it go and starting a family wasn’t easy for her. Not when she’d finally built something all her own. Not when Clay had changed the rules.

She looked at Clay and began, “Do you remember me telling you about Karin, my childhood friend who lived with her husband in Europe?”

Clay nodded, his eyes narrowing in question. “Yeah, I remember you talking about her.”

Trish took a deep breath and pulled a disposable diaper out of the bag. She ran her fingers along the plastic edges. “Well, sadly, her husband died about one year ago. Karin was shattered when she returned to Nashville as a widow. We mourned together. It was only a few weeks later that she found out she was going to have a baby.”

Trish glanced at Meggie who had turned her body to peer at Clay with curiosity. The baby had good instincts, Trish thought wryly, trying to keep herself from weeping as she recounted the story. “It was really hard for her. She was pregnant and pretty much alone. I was with her when Meggie was born. Oh, Clay, it was such a mir—”

But Trish couldn’t finish her thought, not without falling apart. Meggie was a miracle—just seeing her being born, all wrinkly and pink, taking her first breaths and crying her first soft cries, had been a life-changing experience for Trish. She’d never expected to feel such incredible awe and wonder.

Clay sat quietly, listening, and Trish continued. “Karin had complications after the delivery that put her life at risk. It was touch and go for months and then last month, she got an infection that she just couldn’t fight off.”

Trish closed her eyes, willing the grief away as those painful memories surfaced. “She made me promise I’d take the baby if things went bad. I agreed, of course.”

She’d promised her friend, but Trish never thought that she’d have to follow through on that promise. She never believed her friend would die. The baby had been thrust into her life and now she was solely responsible for her. “Karin didn’t make it and I’m Meggie’s legal guardian now,” she explained. “I plan to adopt her as soon as I can.”

Clay’s eyes softened as he peered at Meggie. “The baby has no other family?”

“I’m it, for all practical purposes.” Karin’s mother was in a nursing home. Her husband’s parents were gone.

She fumbled with Meggie’s diaper. She never got the thing on straight the first time and she’d learned the hard way what happened when there was a leak. She refastened the diaper, making it fit a little better. “I’m muddling through,” she confessed. “This is all so new to me.” She looked up to find Clay’s eyes on her. “Meggie had a little fever last week and I couldn’t travel with her until she was completely healthy.”

He waited a beat. “That’s why you arrived late?”

Trish nodded. “That’s the only reason.”

She’d agreed to live in the guesthouse for one month and work on publicity for Penny’s Song. And while she was here, they would end things legally, their marriage only a few terms and a divorce signature away from being history.

“Under the circumstances, I’m surprised you showed up at all.”

She shook her head. “I wouldn’t miss being a part of Penny’s Song. I … it’s still important to me, Clay. Because of what my brother went through, and even more so now that I have a child.” She cringed once the words were out, wondering if his eyes would grow hard and resentment would tighten the sharp angles of his face even more. When neither of those things happened, Trish was hit with reality and unrelenting sadness.

He’s divorcing you, Trish. He doesn’t care anymore.

She’d been served those divorce papers a few short months after she’d walked out on him, but she hadn’t had the heart to end things. Even though she’d tried to forget him, coming face-to-face with Clay now brought it all full circle and her heart ached for the loss. Once upon a time, they’d been so much in love. But everything had changed. She was a single mother and she had to get her life in order. She’d see the end of one dream and the beginning of another.

After she replaced Meggie’s bloomers, she picked up the freshly diapered baby and cuddled her close. “All clean now.”

Meggie clung to her, laying her head on Trish’s shoulder. Blond locks tickled her throat and Trish smiled as she lifted her gaze to Clay. She saw the slightest flicker in his eyes.

He rose from his seat and took a few steps toward her. She caught a whiff of his aftershave, the scent of spice and musk filling her mind with images of moonlit trysts on silken sheets and beds of straw. They’d made love every place imaginable on the ranch.

“You should have told me about her, Trish.”

“You should have answered my phone calls.”

His mouth twisted and they stared at each other. Both stubborn when they thought they were right, they butted heads often. “Besides, it wasn’t as if we’re sharing much of our lives anymore.”

Clay scrubbed his jaw and sighed deeply. “Let’s get you settled in the guesthouse.”

With the baby in her arms, Trish got up from her seat and grabbed for the diaper bag. Before she could sling it over her shoulder, Clay intervened, reaching for the bag. “I’ve got it.”

His fingers brushed hers. Inwardly she gasped from the intense heat. Electricity coursed through her system potent enough to curl the very tips of her toes. And when she looked at Clay, his eyes gleamed with something he couldn’t conceal. He’d felt the connection, too.

They stood there for half a beat, no one moving, staring into each other’s eyes.