The Buddhist Path to Simplicity: Spiritual Practice in Everyday Life

Woodacre, California

2001

Introduction (#ulink_357bc082-cb16-5783-a198-0b2802f7dfdc)

We accept the graceful fallingOf mountain cherry blossoms,But it is much harder for usTo fall away from our ownAttachment to the world ZEN

WE frequently long for a simpler life, to find those moments when we can sit beneath a tree and listen for one wholehearted moment. We yearn to find the space to attend to our own inner rhythms and messages, the space to reflect upon the direction of our lives and to be touched by the subtle changes of each passing moment. We long to find the space to listen to another person and to our own hearts with total attention. Intuitively, we know these spaces teach us about what is significant, about how to find our path in this world, what nurtures us and how to be touched by the world around us.

Moments of stillness and genuine simplicity offer us glimpses of what it means to live in a sacred and free way. We know we do not need yet more sounds, thoughts, experiences, possessions, or attainments. We have had so many and they fail to quench our thirst for freedom and stillness. They do not make us happier, more free or compassionate. Instead, we discover that the clutter of our lives and minds entangles us in an escalating cycle of haste, alienation, and exhaustion.

In our hearts we know that genuine freedom is much deeper than a permission to have more, accumulate more, or become more. Freedom is the ability to live in such a way that there is no sense of imprisonment. To be free in our lives is to live authentically, embodying creativity, wisdom, and compassion in all dimensions of our lives. Freedom implies a genuine understanding of the source of happiness, the end of despair and conflict. Freedom and simplicity are close companions; simplicity teaches us the ways to release the layers of complexity and confusion that blind us. In their falling away we discover the innate vastness of freedom within us.

We are the most materially affluent of all generations. In pursuit of the “good” life, we have the possibility of more possessions, attainments, and choices than ever before. We are also a generation of great despair, alienation, and unhappiness. We tend to be hoarders, amassing, accumulating, and gathering endless stockpiles of “stuff,” inwardly and outwardly, which itself becomes a source of anxiety and tension. The clutter we accumulate, the endless possessions that no longer serve us, the distractions that fill our days, the incomplete conversations and relationships, the long list of things we “meant” to do, take over our lives, our homes, and our hearts.

There is a story of a wise king who, nearing the end of his life, invited his most devoted subjects to his palace so he could choose an heir. Before the meetings began they were offered fine clothes to dress in, dined on the best of foods, and were entertained by the finest performers. Several hours later, the king asked his attendant to invite his subjects before him so he could question them as to how they would rule the land. Red-faced, the attendant confessed that all the people had gone home. Lost in the pleasures and distractions of the evening they had quite forgotten why they were there.

A path of conscious simplicity teaches us how to recover ourselves and our lives. A new profession of lifestyle advisors has emerged to aid those who find themselves drowning in the clutter and complexity of their lives and hearts. These professionals remind us that having is not the same as happiness and that simplicity may bring the inner space from which authenticity and creativity emerge. Clearly, the meaning of our lives cannot be defined by the accumulation of things and achievements. The meaning of our lives is defined by the quality of our presence in this world and in each moment.

We need to learn how to be our own inner lifestyle consultant. What do we lean upon for security, identity, and reassurance? What are the sources of confusion and unhappiness in our lives? Does the source of happiness lie in the accolades, objects, and attainments we gather or do the roots of genuine happiness lie in our own heart? There are times when it is wise to step back from our preoccupations and listen more deeply to the rhythms and quality of our hearts and minds. In these moments the cultivation of stillness is a great gift of kindness we offer to ourselves. We discover the wisdom of ceasing to externalize the source of happiness, reclaiming instead our own capacity to nurture inner wellbeing and wholeness. In learning to let go of the complexity and busyness in our lives, we are also learning to let go of confusion and agitation.

We have the capacity to shape our lives, and the choices we make directly impact on the quality and well-being of the world; a world that is in dire need of people committed to compassion, integrity, and freedom. Simplicity in our lives expresses respect and care for our world; simplicity in our hearts expresses respect and compassion for ourselves and all living beings.

The search for simplicity is a sacred quest that embraces the many dimensions of our lives and hearts. In seeking simplicity we are not asked to abandon our lives but to reflect on the many strategies, objects, and pursuits that preoccupy us. Do they serve us well? Do they make us more happy or free? What can we let go of, re-examine, complete? It is not enough to unclutter our outer lives and leave intact the restlessness, anxiety, and insecurity at the heart of our confusion. Instead, we are asked to reflect upon our inner life—where can we be more mindful, how can we learn to be wholeheartedly attentive, what we need to let go of, what is the source of genuine happiness and freedom.

Our speech, ethics, livelihoods, the efforts we make in our lives, our thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and beliefs—this is our world that asks for wise attention and understanding. Throughout the following chapters, the path of simplicity in the teachings of the Buddha is explored. It is a path of wisdom that teaches us to be a Buddha in our own lives. It is a path of awakening and compassion. The falling away of our layers of confusion and complexity will reveal to us the possibility of a life of freedom and compassion.

A disciple once asked the Buddha to explain the depth and profundity of his teaching. After sitting in silence for a few moments, he simply held up a flower and smiled. We may think of the path to peace and freedom as long, complex, and arduous. Instead, we can simply turn our attention to this moment, this life, and let it speak to us of wonder, mystery, harmony, and peace. There is no better moment in which to awaken and discover everything our heart longs for, than the moment we are in.

CHAPTER 1 Simplicity (#ulink_1fda47d8-1520-56a2-a624-e6ca8e6c2fc0)

The birds have vanished into the sky,And now the last cloud fades away.We sit together, the mountain and I,until only the mountain remains. LI PO

LIVING in Asia as a young woman, my entire life could fit into a single backpack and be moved within minutes. The momentous challenges of the day involved choosing between three varieties of lentils to cook, selecting which of four outfits to wear, and deciding when to meditate. Today, it would take more than one removal van to transport my life; endless planning and words such as “priorities,” “commitments,” and “meetings” have become a regular part of my vocabulary.

We are the first generation of spiritual aspirants to attempt to find a life of awakening and freedom while living in the world rather than within the cloistered walls of a monastery. There are few sure voices or blueprints to guide us. We are learning the lessons of engaged renunciation—treasuring simplicity within a life of consciously loving, working, and creating. The dilemma each one of us faces is how to meet our heart’s longing for calm simplicity amid a complex life. It is a journey that may involve a change in our lives. It will surely involve a change of heart. It is a journey that asks for honesty, commitment, wisdom, and a willingness to learn.

Spiritual traditions throughout history remind us that we can live with joyous simplicity; a life where our mind is our friend, our hearts are loving; where we are at home in our body and at peace with each changing moment of life. Simplicity is the mother of creativity and immediacy, intimacy and understanding, compassion and depth. The key to profound happiness and freedom lies in our capacity to discover simplicity in each moment.

Idealizing simplicity, we dream of mountain caves far removed from life’s demands and challenges. We envy the hermits and monks who appear unflustered by timetables, commitments, and responsibilities. Yet any monastic would tell us that renouncing the material world has its hardships, but letting go of the agitation and complexity of the mind is much, much harder. A newly-ordained monk confided that beneath the serene appearance he presented in his first years, much of his inner life had been dedicated to designing his home of the future, replaying conversations of the past, and engaging in endless arguments with the discipline he outwardly bowed to.

Simplicity may be projected into the future where we believe we will reclaim our time and our lives from the obligations or circumstances that now define them—our families, work, and economic demands. Dreams of enlightened retirement appear in those moments when we feel overwhelmed by the complexity of our lives. We may even believe that the path to simplicity lies solely in solving the outer predicaments and challenges. It is easy to forget that the tyranny of complexity in our lives does not lie as much in our life circumstances, timetables, and obligations, but in our relationships to them and the paths of living we choose and embody.

The shape of our world and our experience of it is molded in our hearts and minds. The commuter on the train may be taking that moment to be still, to cultivate calmness and sensitivity. The hermit in the cave may spend countless moments daydreaming of a better life or replaying some old, familiar song of resentment. Outer change carries no guarantee of inner change; in the quest for simplicity we are invited to examine the rhythm and quality of our own life. It is authentic inner transformation, born of investigation and understanding, that translates our dreams of simplicity and freedom into reality.

The world that invites profound transformation is the one we carry within us. The only moment that offers the possibility of transformation and simplicity is this moment. Calm simplicity is not born of rejecting this moment or this world, but of our own willingness to probe the causes of agitation and complexity. We do not need to look further than this moment, this world, to find the simplicity we hunger for. Simplicity and stillness are not born of transcending our life but of a radical change in our hearts and minds. The endless strategies we engage in to ease the tension and unrest in our hearts are like rearranging the furniture in an overcrowded room. Every great meditative path encourages us to turn directly towards all that preoccupies and burdens us. Learning to cultivate inner calmness, to care wholeheartedly for the moment we are in, to learn to release anxiety and agitation; these are lessons we can only learn while living our lives.

The Source of Happiness and Unhappiness

The Buddha said so simply and clearly that the source of happiness and unhappiness lies nowhere else but in our minds and hearts. We can make endless journeys to find happiness, and engage in countless strategies to rid ourselves of unhappiness, but—the key traveler on all the journeys and the central player in all the strategies is ourselves, and it is to ourselves we always return. There is a wonderful Zen saying, “The only Truth you find on top of the mountain is the truth you brought with you.” We discover happiness through making peace with ourselves and the circumstances of our lives, not through trying to escape from them, nor through living in fantasies about the future. Our lives will continue to present us with unexpected challenges and opportunities. Our bodies will age and become fragile, our teenagers will rebel, our colleagues may frustrate us, financial demands will continue to appear. We will meet with allies and adversaries. We will be asked to find room in our hearts for the needs of others, to embrace our own demons, and to respond to the changing circumstances of each moment. We make peace with our lives through learning to connect with the simple truths of each moment. As the graffiti on the bridge tells us, “We are not in a traffic jam. We are the traffic jam.”

We do not have to travel far to discover simplicity. Each encounter, event, and moment is a mirror that reflects our reactions, fears, longings, and stories. When we encounter another person, in that moment we also meet ourselves in our thoughts, feelings, and responses. Exploring and touching our own heart and mind, we become intimate with all hearts and minds. Fear and anger, greed and jealousy, loving kindness and generosity, compassion and forgiveness are not personal possessions, but universal, human feelings. Understanding how our world is created on a moment-to-moment level, we understand all worlds.

The present moment we are in offers everything we need to discover the deepest serenity and most profound simplicity. There is not a better moment, a more perfect moment for us to awaken and uncover the immediacy and well-being we long for. Tolstoy once said, “If you want to be happy; be.” Yearning for simplicity we are guided to turn our attention to those events, circumstances, and inner experiences that appear most entangled. The places where we feel the most lost and confused are the places we are asked to shine the light of clear and kind attention.

The Buddha said, “I teach only one thing—there is suffering and there is an end of suffering.” All Buddhist traditions and practices rest upon this one simple statement. We all live in the same world experiencing sounds, sights, tastes, smells, feelings, and thoughts. We share the same story of birth, aging, sickness, and death. We all have the capacity for delight and distress, great compassion and great struggle. In the universal story none of us will remain untouched by loss, sadness, and pain, and we will all be touched by moments of simple joy and gladness—we will all laugh and we will all weep. It is a story of change and unpredictability, and it will not always be under our control. This is the story of life.

Simplicity will not be found in trying to mold life to comply with our desires and expectations. The events and circumstances of our world feel no obligation to conform to our expectations. Again and again we learn that the gap between what is and what “should be” is an ocean of distress, disappointment, and frustration. These feelings are not intrinsic to living but derive from our unwillingness to turn our hearts and minds to the realities of each moment. To have the wisdom to acknowledge the bare truths of the moment—“this is grief,” “this is fear,” “this is frustration”—enables us to lay down the burden of our stories and “shoulds,” and follow the road to peace. Simplicity is born of a depth of understanding that enables us to harmonize our inner world with the changes and unpredictability of life.

Personal Story, Life Story

Our personal story is rooted within the universal story, but we each bring to it different ways of experiencing and holding it. To each moment we bring our past memories, hopes, fears, and preferences, and the world reflects back to us the state of our minds. A traveler came to the gates of a new city and asked the gatekeeper, “What kind of people live here?” The gatekeeper answered with a question of his own, “What kind of people lived in the city you just came from?” The traveler replied, “They were mostly a cantankerous lot, greedy and self-centered.” The gatekeeper answered, “I expect you will find the people here just the same.” Soon after, another traveler met the gatekeeper and asked the same question. Again the gatekeeper asked, “How did you find the residents of the city you visited last?” The traveler answered enthusiastically, “They were warm and hospitable; truly a fine group of people.” The gatekeeper responded, “I expect you will find these folk just the same.”

Love and loss, frustration and contentment, intimacy and separation, praise and blame, beginnings and endings—this is the story of life. For each person who meets life with joy and ease, there is another who lives with fear and conflict. The story of life offers us possibilities of entanglement and intensity, or simplicity and ease. To discover the peace of simplicity we are asked to see through the layers of misunderstanding and confusion that camouflage the serenity that is possible for us. The Buddha said, “We carry in our eyes the dust of entanglement.” Entanglement comes with our historical resentments, images, and fears that distort our present. Again and again we find ourselves superimposing our experiences and stories from the past upon the present. Losing ourselves in the stories, we deny to ourselves the capacity to see fully the person in front of us, the moment we are experiencing, or ourselves.

Someone offends us. The next day we encounter them again. No sooner do we set eyes upon them than we find ourselves replaying our resentment, the story of yesterday, at the forefront of our mind. Can we see that person without the veils of the story? Can we see them as someone who may not even know that they have hurt us or as someone caught up in the same agitation we ourselves have experienced? Do we find ourselves already avoiding, rejecting, or judging? Can we learn to breathe out, to let go of the story, and find the generosity to be wholeheartedly present with that person?

Disentanglement comes with the calm patience and attention that illuminates those places and moments where we founder, learning to let go and establish ourselves in the simple truths of each moment. Being present does not imply that we erase our past and the impact it has had upon us. Being present invites us to allow the memories and the stories rooted in the past to be just whispers in our minds that we no longer solidify with unwise attention. We free ourselves to turn a wholehearted attention to this moment.

Calm simplicity and peace are not only reserved for those with fortunate lives, bulging spiritual portfolios, or for the karmically blessed. Serenity, compassion, and stillness are not accidents but consciously cultivated paths. They are possible for each of us, born of wisdom, dedication, and the willingness to clear the dust of entanglement. It is there for all, born of wisdom, dedication, and the willingness to see clearly.

If a group of people were taken to the foot of a mountain, each person intending to climb to the top, every individual would approach the ascent guided by their own personal story and by their inner sense of possibility or limitation. There would be the person who takes one look at the trail and retires in despair without even taking a single step. There would be the person equipped for every eventuality with parachute, pitons, rations, and a hot water bottle. There would be the person who throws away the map and attacks the hardest route, driven by the ambition to be first to the top. There would be the climber who manages to ascend halfway before getting lost in the pleasant views, quite forgetting the rest of the journey. There would be the climber who has spent countless hours rehearsing and planning each step of the journey. There might also be that rare person who sees how far there is to go, but remains unhurried, carefully placing each foot on the ground; who delights in the views and the sounds but never gets lost; whose journey is completed in every step.

This last is the path of simplicity—always available to us in each sight, step, event, and moment. It is a path of peace and completeness. The habits of our lives become solid and familiar with time through endless repetition. We see them in our relationships, work, speech, and choices. We learn where these habits lead to agitation, complexity, and entanglement. We also discover that just because these habits have a long history, this does not imply that they have a long future. The willingness to bring to these habits a calm, clear mindfulness has the power to open the door to new pathways of response, speech, choice, and ways of relating. The present, unencumbered by the past, becomes simpler, more accessible, and free.

The Middle Way

In the story of Siddhartha’s journey of awakening, after leaving his palace of luxury, security, and pleasure, he commenced an ascetic path of meditation that involved complex practices of severe austerity. Punishing his body almost to the point of death, he found himself recalling a time in his childhood when he sat beneath the shade of a tree, watching the farmers tend their fields. He remembered the quiet contentment and happiness found in the simplicity of that moment. Nothing special was happening; the birds were singing, the sun shining, his mind and body were at ease, yet that moment was filled with a powerful sense of “enough.” Nothing lacking, nothing to be added, nothing needed—simply seeing, listening, being, and a profound happiness and stillness. It was a powerful memory, reminding him that simplicity of peace did not lie in another dimension, nor could it be gained through mortifying or manipulating his body or his world.

The recollection of this simple peace was the beginning of his search for a “middle way”—not one rooted in avoidance or gain, denial or ambition, but through turning a wholehearted attention to shine upon this moment and discover the freedom he longed for. We need to find the “middle way” in our own lives. It is the art of finding balance. Reflecting upon our lives, we soon discover what serves us well—nurturing calmness, ease, and simplicity. We also discover what it is that leads to entanglement, confusion, distress, and anxiety. Wisdom is being able to discern the difference, then knowing what we need to nurture and what we need to learn to let go. Foolishness is the belief that we can continue treading the same, familiar pathways of confusion and complexity, hoping that at some point they will lead to a different outcome.

The Buddha said, “This is the path of happiness leading to the highest happiness and the highest happiness is peace.” He never said that the path of meditation was a path of misery in pursuit of greater misery; it is a path dedicated to the discovery of peace in each moment. To understand this deeply, we are called upon to reconsider our understanding of true happiness. Happiness is more than the roller coaster highs we experience through excitement, success, or gain. We all encounter these moments in our lives and they bring a delight to be savored and appreciated. But they also remind us to discover a deeper happiness that is not dependent upon such circumstances. Happiness that is dependent on pleasant experiences is a fragile happiness which can trigger an inner busyness that only thirsts for more sights, sounds, tastes, and experiences. Living a life governed by the pursuit of the pleasant experience and the avoidance of the unpleasant rarely leads to a sense of ease and simplicity but instead to a complex web of pursuit and avoidance. Once, when I was teaching a retreat for young children, we spent some time talking about the nature of wanting. I asked the group what they felt would happen if they went through their lives always wanting something more, never feeling that they had enough in their lives to be happy. There were a few quiet moments, then a five-year-old voice piped up, “Trouble.”

Just as moments of delight will touch our lives and hearts, we will also be asked to respond to encounters with loss, failure, blame, and pain. There will be times when we are separated from those we love, face disappointed dreams, experience loneliness and tension, or are hurt by others. Can we be at peace with all these moments? Can we find a simple, clear understanding within our hearts vast enough to embrace the variety of our experiences? Speaking to a community of monks and nuns, the Buddha said, “Any monk or nun can be at peace when showered with praise, kindness, and adoration. Show me the one who stays serene and balanced in the midst of harshness and blame; this is the monk or nun who is truly at peace.” If we do not know peace in our hearts, it will elude us in all the areas of our lives. True peace is not a destination projected into the future, but a path and practice of the moment. Thich Nhat Hanh, the wonderful Zen teacher, once said, “Buddhism is a clever way of enjoying life. Happiness is available. Please help yourself.”

Peace is not the absence of the unpleasant or challenging in our lives. Peace is most often found in the absence of prejudice, resistance, and judgment. Learning to live with simplicity does not mean that nothing difficult, unpleasant, or challenging will happen to us. Meditation is not an attempt to armor ourselves against life’s realities. Instead, it is about learning to open, to discover a heart as vast as the ocean that can embrace the calm and the turbulence, the driftwood and the sparkling waves. Peace is not a denial of life but the capacity to be wholeheartedly with each moment, just as it is, without fear or avoidance. We learn to simplify, to strip away our expectations and desires, to let go of our fears and projections, and see the simple truth of each moment. Out of this simplicity is born an understanding and wise responsiveness that manifests in our speech, actions, and choices. We discover what it means to embrace our lives.

A woman once came to me wanting to be taught how to meditate. She was understandably distressed by the tension, struggle, and conflicting demands present in her life—financial hardship, an alcoholic partner, and a hostile stepson. She said, “All I want is some peace.” After receiving some instructions she went home to practice only to return a week later even more distressed. She spoke of how, as her mind began to calm down, she became even more acutely aware of the nature of the conflicts in her life and what she would be called upon to change to bring the tension to an end. Puzzled, because it seemed that the meditation was indeed working, I asked her what the problem was. She answered, “I didn’t ask for awareness, I only wanted peace.”

Awareness and understanding have real implications in our lives. We need to be willing to be changed by the insights that come to us. When we recognize our habitual pathways of complexity, we are invited to find new pathways to travel. Understanding the rhythm of change, the beginnings and endings intrinsic to life, is an insight that invites us to let go more easily. To try to hold onto, maintain, or preserve anything in this life, inwardly or outwardly, is to invite the experiences of deprivation, anxiety, and defensiveness into our hearts. Learning to embrace and live in harmony with all the changes, the births and deaths, beginnings and endings that life will inevitably bring to each of us, is to invite stillness and serenity into our hearts.

Simplicity is a journey that involves both our inner and outer worlds—they are interconnected, endlessly informing each other. Our lives are simply our hearts and minds taking form, made manifest. Our words, thoughts, actions, and choices are born within our hearts and minds. Untangling the knots of complexity found within our thoughts, feelings, and perceptions, we learn to untangle the knots of our lives. We learn how to be at home in each moment with calmness, balance, and the willingness to learn. Simplicity is not passive, a benign detachment from the turbulence of life; it is a way of placing our finger upon the pulse of our life and discovering the ways of liberation.

Patience and Compassion

In the Tao Te Ching it is said,

I have just three things to teach:Simplicity, patience, and compassion.