Not Your Average Cowboy

“Yeow,” she yelled, pressing her hand against her burning cheek. She leaned back into the car as the horse pranced beside her.

The beast swung its tail again. This time she was spitting the horse’s tail hair out of her mouth and brushing it away from her eyes. Her elbow hit the horn.

The horse whinnied, took off at a gallop, leaped the guardrail and plunged down the cliff with Buck Porter hanging on for dear life.

“Whoa, Bandit. Easy boy.”

Buck pulled on the reins, but not too much. He might as well give Bandit his head and just go with it. The Bandit could handle anything.

Why the hell had the fool woman laid on her horn? Didn’t she know that it would spook his horse?

Buck leaned as far back in the saddle as he could. Cactus needles stabbed into his duster and scraped his chaps. During the plunge down the mountain, it didn’t take long to figure out that Meredith Something Turner was going to be trouble.

“She’s a celebrity chef. She’s on TV and has written several cookbooks,” Karen had told him. “She’ll bring in a lot of good publicity. Besides, she’s my best friend, and I haven’t seen her in a long time. We can do some catching up.”

Buck didn’t want any part of turning Rattlesnake Ranch into a dude ranch. He liked it just the way it was. Unfortunately, he didn’t have much choice. He’d been outvoted by his two sisters and brother, who, along with him, each owned one-fourth of the Rattlesnake, left to them by their parents.

“Whoa, Bandit,” he yelled, leaning back even more. “Easy, big guy.”

Finally, Bandit hit level ground and stopped dead in his tracks. Shaking his head, the big black stallion pawed at the ground with a hoof.

“Yeah, I know. I know. The city gal probably didn’t know any better.”

He heard a sound like the wailing of a coyote and looked up. There she was, hanging over the guardrail.

“Do you need help?” she yelled.

She’d made a megaphone over her mouth with her hands. If he did need help, what would she do? Make blueberry scones?

“No,” he shouted back.

“Are you hurt?”

She was scaring every bird, animal and lizard within a fifty-mile radius. Bandit was fidgeting like he was going to jump out of his skin.

“I’m fine,” he yelled. “Get in your car and go.”

“But I don’t know where to go.”

“Go back to Boston,” he mumbled, then shouted, “Follow the road until the end. Turn left, then right, then your second left. Rattlesnake Ranch will be on the right.”

“Any of these streets have colorful Western names? You know, something I can remember?”

“Like Beacon Hill?” he said.

“Wha-a-at?”

“No. No names.” No one ever bothered naming the dusty paths that ran through Rattlesnake Ranch, least of all him.

“Right. Left, left. Then turn right. Or did you say two rights? I should write this down. Right? Stay there until I get a pen and paper from my purse, will you?”

Oh, for Pete’s sake. He had chores to do, and leading a city gal around by the nose wasn’t one of them.

A scream cut through the air, startling the buzzards and vultures right out of the trees. Her again.

He released his grip from the saddle horn and catapulted off Bandit. Grabbing his rifle and rope, he ascended the same path he’d just ridden down.

“Meredith? Hey, Meredith Something Turner, are you okay?”

Silence.

“Answer me, dammit,” he shouted, struggling up the steep incline.

The gravel crumbled under his feet, but he was making progress. Cactus needles stabbed his arms through his duster, through his shirt. Sweat poured down his face as he scrambled higher…higher.

He set the rifle down, shook loose some rope, twirled it over his head several times and let it fly. It hit his target—a post of the guardrail. He tugged to test it and took up the slack. With his rifle tucked under his arm, he climbed up the rope hand over hand as quickly as he could.

“Meredith?”

Another scream split the air.

In one smooth motion, Buck vaulted over the guardrail, rolled to the ground and took aim….

What the hell?

Two wild burros were eating the contents of Meredith Something Turner’s purse. Papers and cosmetics were spread out on the road, and the burros were busy grazing on them. She was pressed against her car, wide-eyed as another burro nibbled on the lapel of her pink suit.

He could tell she was ready to let loose another granddaddy of a scream, and he didn’t think his ears could take any more.

But she surprised him. Instead of screaming, she croaked out, “Don’t shoot them. Just get them away from me.”

He lowered his head, so she wouldn’t see his grin. Securing his rifle, he got up from the ground and took off his hat.

“Shoo,” he said, waving the air with his hat as he walked across the road. “Scat. Go on. Get on. You’re scaring the lady and she’s scaring half the state of Arizona.”

They eyed him, then trotted off down the road.

Buck turned toward her. “What the hell’s wrong with you? You scared me half to death.”

“You? You were scared? What about me?” She walked over to the mess on the road, picked up a pack of tissues and, after careful inspection, blew her nose into one. “What were those things?”

“Wild burros.”

“W-why aren’t they in a zoo?”

“This isn’t Boston, lady.”

She sniffed and brushed off her lapels. “No kidding.”