Life According to Lucy

“I have to choose a side? I didn’t know we were having a fight.”

She clenched her hands into fists. “We aren’t, but we will be if you keep insisting on defending that bimbo.”

Gloria shook her head and made a tsking sound. “Now, be rational.”

“I don’t want to be rational!” Honestly, what was rational about this situation? This was her father they were talking about, not some stranger. A man who had spent almost every Saturday for the past ten years at the hardware store or watching sports on television. Why was he suddenly chasing around after a woman half his age?

“You don’t even know her,” Gloria said. “She might be very nice.”

She took a deep breath. This was one of the things she didn’t understand about life: just when she thought she was all grown-up, a sensible, mature woman, something like this would happen to make her feel like a six-year-old. The thought of throwing a temper tantrum was eerily satisfying at the moment.

About that time the woman in question started sucking the sugary remnants of the funnel cake off her fingers with an enthusiasm that caused her dad’s eyes to glaze over, and Lucy’s brief stab at maturity to flee. “I don’t care if she teaches kindergarten to underprivileged children and spends Sundays volunteering at the nursing home,” she growled. “I don’t want her dating my father.”

The couple started off walking again and Gloria and Lucy followed at a distance. They were holding hands now, her father standing so erect, shoulders squared and chest out, that Lucy wondered how he could breathe.

It wouldn’t be so bad if he dated someone his own age, she thought. Someone sweet and motherly. But what did a bombshell like this gal see in a fifty-five-year-old man? Okay, so he was in pretty good shape for his age, but honestly…What if she was trying to scam him? Dad would be easy to take advantage of. After all, he’d been out of the dating scene a long time. He didn’t know what it was like out there. Things were bound to have changed a lot and he’d be an easy mark for some unscrupulous bimbo.

Dad and the woman stopped at a booth selling ceramic masks. While she admired one of the fanciful creations, Dad turned to face Lucy and Gloria, gazing idly around. Lucy ducked into the large tent to keep from being seen.

The tent featured all kinds of bushes and trees growing in pots and cut into fanciful shapes. “Topiaries,” Gloria said, admiring a baby elephant sculpted of ivy. “These are very nice.”

Lucy peeked out from behind a penguin made of privet. “Are they still over by the masks? I can’t see.”

Gloria glanced behind her. “They’re still there.”

Lucy moved up, still keeping behind the displays in case Dad looked this way again. “What are they doing?”

“I think she’s trying to convince your father to buy one for her.”

“I knew it! She thinks he’s her next sugar daddy.”

“Good afternoon, ladies. May I help you?” A smiling, older Latina woman approached. “That is a beautiful poodle, isn’t it?”

Lucy stepped back and realized she’d been lurking behind a larger-than-life sized rendition of a poodle. “Uh, yes. Yes, it is.” She thought of Millie. Why hadn’t she stayed home with her today instead of ending up in this mess?

“Are you looking for something in particular?” the saleswoman asked.

She shook her head. “Uh, no. We’re just looking.”

“Uh-oh,” Gloria hurried to join her behind the poodle. “They’re headed this way.”

The saleswoman looked confused. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Everything’s fine.” She retreated further into the tent. “We’ll have a look over here.”

“Over there!” Gloria nudged her and pointed to a sign marked Maze.

She followed her into the maze, which had been formed out of pots of clipped hedges. The only problem was, the hedges were only chest high. They had to crouch down to stay hidden. Which meant her butt was sticking up. Not the most attractive position.

“I think this must be for kids,” Gloria said.

She peeked over the top of the maze and saw her dad and the woman enter the tent. Her dad pointed to the poodle and said something that made the woman laugh. She ducked down again, narrowly avoiding being seen.

“Why don’t you go out there and introduce yourself?” Gloria said.

She was right, of course. This was a public place. There was no reason she shouldn’t walk right up to her father and say hello. Except how would she explain what she was doing in the kiddie maze?

That, and the fact that she was a coward.

“They’re coming this way,” Gloria hissed.

She tried to see through the bushes, but they were too thick. Then she spotted a gap a little farther down the line. If she spread a couple of branches apart with her hands, she could just fit her head through…there. Now she could see them and she was pretty sure they couldn’t see her.

The woman was clinging to Dad’s arm as if she might fall over without support and Dad still looked slightly dazed. He was carrying a plastic bag that she guessed held the mask and no telling what other swag she’d talked him into buying for her. Come over here a little closer, she thought, glaring at her. I’ll drag you into these bushes and show you what happens to women who take advantage of my father.

About that time, they turned in her direction and she shrank back. Of course, she had no real intention of getting into a catfight in the middle of the children’s maze. She liked to think she was tough, but her real nature had the fortitude of warm custard.

Something on the far side of the tent caught the bimbo’s eye and she dragged Dad off in that direction. Lucy heaved a big sigh. While the woman and Dad were occupied elsewhere, maybe she could sneak away.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Gloria said. Lucy felt her crawl past.

She had every intention of joining her friend, but when she tried to turn around, her head wouldn’t move. She was wedged firmly in the tightly woven branches. “Uh, Gloria?” she said in a loud whisper.

But apparently Gloria was already too far away to hear her. Lucy wrapped her fingers around the limbs on either side of her neck and tried to pry them apart, but all that got her was scratches on her arms. Great, she thought. I’ll be stuck here forever.

“Daddy, what’s that lady doing over there?”

“I don’t know dear. Perhaps she lost a contact lens. Let’s not bother her.”

Yeah right. Everybody looks for contact lenses in the walls of a maze. She guessed it made as much sense as spying on your own father. She pulled back harder, tears stinging her eyes as twigs raked her skin and tangled in her hair.