The Man Tamer

Dear Man Tamer:

My boyfriend loves sports. Sometimes I think he loves them more than he loves me. He is always going to games or watching them on television. Our entire social calendar is planned around baseball, hockey, football and basketball season. Now he’s talking about taking up golf! What can I do to save this relationship?

Hates Sports

Dear Hates Sports:

This is a tough one. For many men, sports are like a religion. They identify with teams and players and are invested in the outcome of games. But these are only games and the trick is to show the man in your life how much he is missing of real life—i.e., a relationship with you—by being so involved in sports. I suggest you start by attempting to distract him by planning fabulous evenings alone. Favorite foods and hot sex are usually winning distractions. Some women have had success in learning to love sports and sharing them with their men, but if you do this, I suggest insisting he meet you halfway and learn to love movies or ballet or whatever your passion is. After all, a relationship is a partnership. You shouldn’t do all the work. In the end, you may have to confront him with an ultimatum. Does he choose sports or you? If he chooses sports, your heart may be broken, but at least you won’t have wasted your life on someone who couldn’t give you the love you need. Let me know how it goes!

The Man Tamer

RACHEL WATCHED Wild Man Kelly’s departure. Her fingers still tingled from the touch of his tongue. Her breasts felt heavy and aching, and the dull throbbing in her groin testified to how fully turned on she’d been within mere seconds of first laying eyes on him. He’d had her so under his spell that if he’d suddenly laid her back on the buffet table and begun stripping off his clothes she wouldn’t have protested.

She shifted and squeezed her thighs together, breathless at the thought of herself laid out among the chocolate tarts and cream puffs, a half-naked Garret looming over her.

He’d certainly lived up to his nickname so far. If she didn’t have serious business to discuss with Denton, she wouldn’t have minded getting to know Garret better. Not that he was at all her type, but he would probably be fun for a fling—provided he didn’t get too wigged out by her occupation.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Denton asked. “I haven’t got all evening.”

Denton’s prompt pulled her back to the present. “Have you made a decision on the afternoon slot on KTXK?” she asked.

“No. I’ve got a chance to buy the rights to reruns of Space Cadet Coeds.”

“Space Cadet Coeds?” Was he for real? “I’ve never heard of it.”

“Number one in Japan last year,” he said. “I think it’ll be a big hit.”

“Who’s going to watch a Japanese import when they can have a hometown star?” She drew herself up to her full five feet six inches. “The Man Tamer is the number-one relationship column in the state,” she said. “A Man Tamer television show would draw the coveted twenty to forty-year-old female demographic, plus it would increase readership for my column.”

Denton waved away her words as if he was brushing off a pesky fly. “I’m also thinking about filling that slot with a show all about lacrosse. If would be a great way to build interest for the team.”

“You said yourself lacrosse is already hot. Why would you need a show about it?”

“Lacrosse is something that appeals to both men and women. Especially with a star like Wild Man on the team. Who’s going to watch your show but a bunch of women with man troubles?”

Only every woman in the city, if you put it that way, she thought. In her experience, every man was some kind of trouble. “So what if the show mainly appeals to women?” she asked. “That’s a lot of viewers. Not to mention with my training in psychology and the strong following I already have with the magazine, I could be the next Dr. Phil.”

Denton looked pained. “Rachel, you apply dog-training techniques to handling men. It’s a cute concept for a column, but I just don’t see it translating to television.”

“It’s not dog training!” she practically shrieked. Noticing half a dozen people turn to look at them, she sucked in a deep breath and tried to remain calm. “My columns promote the use of proven behavior modification techniques.”

“Dog training,” Denton repeated.

“Call it what you want, but it works. I have hundreds of letters from satisfied readers who’ve tried my man-taming techniques and transformed their relationships.”

Denton looked thoughtful. “So you’re telling me you can take any man and turn him into the perfect tame boyfriend using your techniques?”

“Of course.”

“Even someone like Wild Man Kelly?”

She glanced toward where Garret was standing by the keg, surrounded by half a dozen admiring men and women. He stood with one hand in his pocket, the other holding a plastic cup, a casual, slouching pose. The too long hair, beard stubble and general demeanor spoke of a quintessential bachelor who didn’t care much about his appearance. No doubt his apartment was a sty and his idea of a balanced meal was a slice of pizza in one hand and a beer in the other. Hundreds of women had written to her about similar men in their lives.

“I’ve seen worse.” Of course, none of those men had managed to reduce her to a whimpering mass of hormones within two minutes of meeting her.

“Then maybe we can make a deal.”

“Huh?” She blinked at Denton, coming out of her lust-induced fog.

“I’ll make you a little bet.” Denton actually rubbed his hands together, a gesture she had never seen outside of a B-movie. “You apply your man-taming principles to Garret Kelly to tame him and if you succeed, you can have your show.”

“That’s fantastic!” In her elation, she almost hugged Denton, but restrained herself just in time. “This will be the easiest bet I ever won.”

“Don’t count on it,” Denton said. “Kelly’s got way too much testosterone in his system to tame.” He chuckled. “I don’t call him Wild Man for nothing. And from what I hear, that applies to both on and off the field.”

She glanced toward Garret again. A short brunette was beaming up at him, her expression telegraphing the message, Take me, I’m yours. So maybe Wild Man wouldn’t be a pushover. No one ever said she didn’t like a challenge.

“I can handle the Wild Man,” she said, a thrill running through her at the thought. Okay, so she’d like to handle him in more ways than one. All in good time….

“Denton, how marvelous to see you!” Rhonda, her timing impeccable as always, descended on them in a perfumed cloud. She offered her cheek to Denton, who obligingly kissed her. Rhonda made a show of just now noticing Rachel’s presence. “Hello, Rachel. I didn’t know you were here.”

“Of course not. Why would you notice little old me?” She took a step closer to Denton, in an attempt to keep him from being completely lured away by Rhonda’s black-belt charm. “Denton and I were just discussing our plans for a television show based on my Man Taming columns.”

She ignored Denton’s frown and kept her gaze fixed on her sister.

Rhonda’s smile vanished, replaced by an expression more appropriate for funerals and firing squads. “Oh no! Please tell me you aren’t going to embarrass yourself—not to mention the rest of the family—by taking these ridiculous ideas of yours public.”

“Hello? I write a monthly column with a circulation of over two hundred thousand. I’d say that’s pretty public.”

“The Man Tamer is one of Belinda magazine’s most popular features,” Denton said. His defense of her pleased Rachel, though she suspected the billionaire just liked pitting the sisters against each other. The socially acceptable equivalent of female mud wrestling.

Rhonda’s expression didn’t lighten in the least. “I suppose reality television and daytime talk shows prove the general public has a taste for sensationalism,” she said. “Still, it’s difficult to accept that a beloved family member would lower herself so.”

Only Denton’s presence and fear of making a public scene saved Rachel from slapping her sister. She forced a saccharine smile to her face. “Just think of it as my way of helping people to get the most out of their relationships,” she said. “I know how interested you are in philanthropy.” Rhonda was on the board of half a dozen Dallas charities—not because she was so interested in the underprivileged, but because it kept her name and face in the spotlight.

“Speaking of charity…” Rhonda latched onto Denton’s arm and fixed him with a dazzling smile. Rachel thought about telling her to lay off the teeth whitening. It was starting to look a little scary. “I wanted to discuss the upcoming fund-raiser for the Children’s Hospital….” Ignoring Rachel, she steered Denton away, a determined tugboat towing a not-so-reluctant barge.

Rachel headed back toward the buffet table and a fresh plate of strawberries—and a pile of napkins. She was going to drown her frustrations in chocolate and plot her next move with Garret Kelly. A positively evil smile shaped her lips as she pictured herself, on Garret’s arm, introducing him to Rhonda. “This is Wild Man Kelly,” she’d say. “The star of the Dallas Devils and my very good friend.” One older husband—no matter how wealthy and socially prominent—wasn’t a match for a muscular hunk with a sexy foreign accent. Rhonda would be positively green. A good color on her, Rachel thought.

“MEN LIKE GARRET KELLY think they’re happy living the way they do, but that’s only because they don’t know what they’re missing.” The following Monday, Rachel stirred sweetener into her iced tea and eyed Moira across the café table. “I can show men like him how to improve their lives.”

“For your sake, I hope it involves regular sex,” Moira said. “That’s something that’s been missing from your life for a while.”

Rachel ignored the dig. “I can’t let myself get distracted by my personal desires,” she said. “This is serious business. If I can prove my man-taming principles work on a he-man like Garret Kelly, I can have a whole new career in television.”

“That’s a big if.” Moira added pepper to her salad. “A man who goes by the nickname ‘Wild Man’ might not respond well to taming.”

“I’m not going to fail.” No matter what Denton or Rhonda or anyone else thinks. “I’m going to devote all my energy to this project. I will have that television show.”