It's A Guy Thing!

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he said.

“That’s all right.” She yawned and rolled over onto her back to look up at him. “I was lying here thinking, and I must have drifted off.”

He sat down on the edge of the sofa. “What were you thinking about?”

The fire crackled as a log settled, and outside the window the wind howled. Cassie closed her eyes and didn’t say anything.

“I did a lot of thinking while I was chopping wood, too,” he said. He rubbed his hands together, trying to keep from touching her.

Her eyes flew open. “Oh?”

“I was thinking about why I came up here this weekend.”

“Why is that?” Her voice was soft, breathy, like a caress.

“I was trying to figure out my life. What I wanted.” A thought popped into his head, like a neon sign glowing bright, that what he wanted was Cassie. He quickly pushed it aside. He hardly knew the woman. How could she be the answer to the restlessness that had plagued him?

She sat up and swung her feet to the floor. Her shoulder brushed his, but he didn’t move away. “I guess I came up here for pretty much the same reason,” she said.

Jealousy pricked at him, sharp and painful. He didn’t like remembering that she’d come here to be with another man.

As if reading his thoughts, she turned her head to look at him. “This weekend wasn’t really about Bob,” she said. “I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but I think I knew things were over between us.” She smoothed the afghan across her lap. “I told myself I was coming here to try to salvage our relationship, but I think I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do something daring. Something different.”

“You mean this isn’t how you usually spend your spare time?”

He purposely made the words teasing.

She looked away from him, at the fire. “When you first saw me at the coffee shop, what did you think?”

He smiled, remembering. “I thought my kid sister’s friend had certainly grown up.” He watched her out of the corner of his eye as he spoke. “I wanted to ask you out.”

She stared at him. “You didn’t.”

“Yeah, I did.” He laced his fingers together, wanting to reach for her but afraid she’d pull away. “I didn’t know what Amy would think of it and before I could ask her, I heard you were already involved with someone.”

Sadness shadowed her eyes. “Do you think Amy wouldn’t approve of you going out with me?”

He took her hand in his then, unable to stop himself any longer. “Do you?”

Cassie held herself still, not pulling away from him, but not moving toward him either. “We didn’t exactly part on good terms.”

He tried to remember when Amy and Cassie had ceased to be friends, but he couldn’t pin it down to a specific date. Cassie had stopped coming around and Amy had never mentioned her again. “What happened?”

She shrugged. “She didn’t approve of my quitting the team.”

“Was this after her accident?”

She nodded. “She was still in a wheelchair, after her surgery, but she came to team meetings and watched films and helped coach everybody.” She looked at him, eyes glistening. “It was so hard seeing her like that. I thought she’d understand when I told her I couldn’t race anymore.”

He squeezed her hand, fighting a knot in his own throat. He’d cried for his sister once, but it had been a long time ago. “But she didn’t.”

She hung her head. “No. She told me I was settling for being ordinary, when I could have been extraordinary.”

He cupped her chin and turned her head until their eyes met. “I think you’re pretty extraordinary.”

“No, I’m not. I’m a quiet, ordinary, even timid person. I’m the kind of person other people take for granted.” Her eyes darkened, her expression intense. “But sometimes, I feel like there’s so much more. Like there’s this other side of me trying to get out—a person who’s daring and exciting. A person no one would ever take for granted.” She frowned. “Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.” He squeezed her hand. “Maybe this other side of you just needs a little encouraging.”

“I don’t know how to do that.” The sadness in her voice tore at him.

He pulled back and looked at her intently. “Was there ever anything you really wanted to do in your life, but you never did it?”

She looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

He thought a moment, trying to find the right words. “Something like…well, even when I was in high school, I wanted to own my own business. Something to do with adventure and the outdoors. I was still in college when I started going around to banks, trying to get financing for a store that would offer all sorts of outdoor gear. Everyone said I was crazy—I was too young, I had no experience. But it was my dream, and I didn’t let what others said stop me.”

She nodded. “And now your store’s a big success and everyone’s saying you’re a genius.”

“Not everyone. But I’m proud I didn’t let others talk me out of my dream.” He cradled her hands between both his own, savoring the smoothness of her skin. “Now it’s your turn. What’s your dream that hasn’t come true yet?”

She thought a moment, obviously reluctant. “Well…I want to be a massage therapist. I mean, it’s something I really think I’ll stick with.”

“So you’re already doing that. What else? What haven’t you done yet that you want to do?”

She furrowed her brow. “I wish now I hadn’t given up racing.”

“Why did you? Because you were afraid of getting hurt?”

She shook her head. “No. I think that was just an excuse.”

“Then why?”

She worried her lower lip between her teeth. “My mother had been after me for a while to give it up.” She ducked her head, but not before he read the hurt in her eyes. “She said it was selfish to waste so much time and energy on something I’d never be able to make a living at.”

Cassie selfish? Admittedly, he didn’t know her that well, but he couldn’t picture her as selfish.