Baby Trouble: The Spy's Secret Family

“You’re back.” The abject relief in his voice broke her heart a little. What he clearly meant was, “So I get to live another day in this beautiful illusion? Thank God.”

“The doctors say you can go home soon. You’ll still need around-the-clock medical care, but I can hire nurses to look after you.”

Terror flashed in his eyes at the mention of leaving the hospital.

She pretended not to see it and asked lightly, “Do you think when you actually come home to live with me and Adam you’ll believe all of this is real? That you’re free and you have a family?”

He answered slowly, “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Hey, progress! He’d spoken of his feelings. Maybe he’d finally accepted that he was not living in a dream or a terrible trick. She picked up his bony hand and cradled it in hers. It had been so strong once, so capable of giving her pleasure, so confident in its gestures. She murmured, “I love you, Nick. If you believe nothing else, please believe that.”

“Even if you’re lying, the notion makes me happy.”

She smiled down at him. “Give it some time. Give me some time to prove this is real.”

He shrugged. “It isn’t like I have any choice. I’m along for the ride, here. So far, it’s a great dream.”

She smiled bravely while the knife twisted in her gut. “You’ll be on your feet and kicking up your heels in no time. You’ll be able to do whatever you want.”

And please God, let that include staying with her and Adam. Their son desperately needed a father, and she desperately needed the man she loved. Yes, she hadn’t seen him in five years. And yes, he might be an entirely different person than the one she fell in love with way back then. But surely, at least part of the intelligent, passionate, confident man who’d swept her off her feet was still in there, somewhere.

“How can you possibly be real?” he asked reflectively. “You’re too perfect.”

She laughed lightly, praying her panic at his declaration wasn’t audible. “I’m far from perfect. Trust me.”

“Trust. That is the thing, isn’t it? Who will trust whom first in this little chess game?”

“This isn’t a game, Nick. You’re free, you’re going home soon and I love you. That’s the God’s honest truth.”

He made a noncommittal sound, and his cobalt gaze slid away from hers.

He really did have to give his captors credit for playing out this farce to the hilt. Six weeks since his “rescue” and still no hint of tossing him back in his box. He gazed around the plush bedroom suite, decorated in dark woods and deep, comforting colors. It was a far cry from his former prison. Hard to believe he actually caught himself missing the container’s bare metal walls now and then. After a while, its confines had felt safe. Comforting. A steel embrace that kept out worse horrors.

He supposed if he had to trade one cage for another, this one wasn’t bad. It was warmer and softer, and definitely had better food. The hallway door opened and Laura slipped into the room, wearing a slim wool skirt and a silk blouse that clung to her elegant curves in all the right places. Her cheeks were pink and her eyes bright. He added better-looking captors to his list.

In all fairness to her, she’d been nothing but kind and loving to him since she’d opened his box and let him out. She really was a delightful woman, witty and warm, with a quick smile that made her impossible to resist. And she was a devoted mother.

She moved to his side, and he closed his laptop. Yet again, his unreasoning fear at what lurked in his past had prevented him from typing in his real name to an internet search engine. Just a few simple keystrokes, and he’d finally know what monsters lurked in the recesses of his mind. But his terror was just too great. He’d sat there for an hour with the damned computer in his lap and never managed to type a single letter.

Leaning over the chair, Laura kissed him warmly. He didn’t find it hard to believe that he’d loved her once. The only thing keeping him from giving in to serious attraction to the woman was the prospect of losing her. He figured as soon as he fell for her, that would be when the rug got yanked out from under him.

“How’re you feeling today?” she asked eagerly, almost impatiently.

“Fine. You look about ready to burst. Do you have a surprise for me?” His gut clenched. He hated surprises. He was still waiting for the big, nasty one where his captors swept him out of this paradise and whisked him back to Hell Central.

“I do have a surprise for you, Nick. A good one, I hope. Are you strong enough for a bit of a shock?”

Every cell in his being froze. This was it. Sick heat and then icy cold washed through him, leaving him so nauseous he could hardly breathe. His heart pounded and his breathing accelerated so hard that, in seconds, he was light-headed.

His gaze darted about, seeking escape. Seeking a weapon. Anything to defend himself from the attack to come. His gaze lighted on the window. He could make a dash for it. Fling himself through the glass. It was three stories to the ground. If he went head first, the fall ought to kill him. If nothing else, maybe he’d be hurt so bad they couldn’t throw him back in his box. Maybe they’d have to hospitalize him for a few more months.

“I’m pregnant, Nick. We’re going to have a baby.”

His mind went blank. Ever so slowly, his brain managed to form a thought. Not a particularly coherent one, but a thought. What new game was this?

“Did you hear me?” Laura asked excitedly. “You’re going to be a father again.”

His brain simply refused to absorb the information. He couldn’t find a context to put the words in. Couldn’t comprehend the purpose of this new torture.

Laura was laughing. “… too fertile for our own good … first time we made love we got Adam, and now, after that first night you were free, we’re going to have another baby … should really be more careful about birth control in the future …”

She was making words and sentences and probably was even stringing them together in some sort of logical order. But he didn’t understand a thing she was saying.

He did understand, though, that the hallway door was not bursting open. No thugs had come for him yet. The next few minutes passed with him murmuring inane nothings at proper intervals in response to Laura’s babbling joy. And still no one had come.

Could it be? Was this real? Was Laura really pregnant and expecting his child?

Something cracked in his chest. It hurt, but it was a good kind of pain. Was he truly free? Was a life, a future with Laura and his children a possibility? Did he dare hope?

Hope. Now there was a concept.

A baby, huh? His and Laura’s. A little brother or sister for Adam. How he’d love to experience all of it—the morning sickness and messy delivery and midnight feedings. Another child to crawl inside his heart and hold it in his or her tiny, precious hands. Lord knew, Adam had already completely wrapped him around his little finger in the short time he’d spent with the boy. Nick said a fervent prayer every night that, even if all the rest of this was a horrible, cruel lie, God would please let Adam be real. He loved the little boy with all his heart.

And now there might be another child for him to love?

Something exploded in his gut with all the bright fury of a fireworks display, burning away everything that had gone before, cauterizing old wounds, and leaving him empty. New. Reborn.

And then he gave that something a name. Joy.

He was free. Really, truly free. The nightmare was over. He surged up out of the chair and wrapped Laura in a crushing embrace. And then, for the first time, he cried for the right reasons.

Laura didn’t know what clicked for Nick, but after she told him she was pregnant, he changed. He took new interest in food and exercise and spending time with Adam and generally engaged in life more. He got stronger, and gradually, as her belly grew, the haunted look faded from his eyes. He quit eyeing closed doors suspiciously, and the nightmares seemed to fade.

For a while there, she’d wondered if he was too far gone, if she’d be able to pull him out of the emotional abyss into which he’d fallen. But this baby seemed to have done the trick. She rubbed her rounded tummy affectionately. Things were working out better than she could ever have dreamed. Life was darned near perfect.

Nick stared at the laptop on his desk for the hundredth time. He’d been avoiding the thing for months, ever since Laura had told him she was pregnant, afraid to rock the boat of this new life. Everything was so good for him—for all of them—that he had no desire to do anything to threaten the perfection of it all.

But his curiosity had been building. Maybe it was a sign of his recovery that he was starting to feel the tug of waiting answers. What had happened during those lost years? Why the lies about his identity? Who’d had him kidnapped and thrown into a box? And why hadn’t that person or persons just killed him outright?

Certainty that he did not want to know the answers, no matter how tantalizing they might be, still raged in his gut. Whatever his former life had been, he had no pressing need to resume it. Laura was wealthy enough for them and their children to live in the lap of luxury for several lifetimes. Whoever else he’d left behind in his old life had no doubt made peace long ago with his disappearance and gotten on with their own lives. His return now could only cause disruption and chaos.

But what if his old life, his old identity, came looking for him?

Nah. Surely that had been the whole point of his kidnapping. To turn him into a ghost. Make him disappear for good. As long as he stayed a ghost, made no effort to resume his former life, there was no reason for his past to come looking for him. Right?

The key was to keep a low profile. He closed the laptop with a solid thunk. Nope. Curiosity or no curiosity, he was not going anywhere near his old life.

Chapter 2 (#ulink_761ee30d-8a76-59fd-9afe-7895db4d14c1)