Cabal

Now that they were here, Lori was gladder than ever of Sheryl’s company. Her verve and good humour were an affront to this sombre place; they kept whatever haunted it at bay.

Ghosts could be laid with laughter; misery was made of sterner stuff. For the first time since Decker’s telephone call she felt something approximating bereavement. It was so easy to imagine Boone here, alone and confused, knowing his pursuers were closing on him. It was easier still to find the place where they’d shot him down. The holes the stray bullets had made were ringed with chalk marks; smears and splashes of blood had soaked into the planks of the porch. She stood off from the spot for several minutes, unable to approach it yet equally unable to retreat. Sheryl had tactfully taken herself off exploring: there was nobody to break the hypnotic hold the sight of his death-bed had upon her.

She would miss him forever. Yet there were no tears. Perhaps she’d sobbed them out back in the diner washroom. What she felt instead, fuelling her loss, was the mystery of how a man she’d known and loved – or loved and thought she’d known – could have died here for crimes she’d never have suspected him of Perhaps it was the anger she felt towards him that prevented tears, knowing that despite his professions of love he’d hidden so much from her, and was now beyond the reach of her demands for explanation. Could he not at least have left a sign? She found herself staring at the blood stains wondering if eyes more acute than hers might have found some meaning in them. If prophecies could be read from the dregs in a coffee cup surely the last mark Boone had made on the world carried some significance. But she was no interpreter. The signs were just of many unsolved mysteries, chief amongst them the feeling she voiced aloud as she stared at the stairs:

‘I still love you Boone.’

Now there was a puzzle, that despite her anger and her bewilderment she’d have traded the life that was left in her just to have him walk out through that door now and embrace her.

But there was no reply to her declaration, however oblique. No wraith breath against her cheek; no sigh against her inner ear. If Boone was still here in some phantom form he was mute, and breathless; not released by death, but its prisoner.

Somebody spoke her name. She looked up.

‘– don’t you think?’ Sheryl was saying.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Time we went,’ Sheryl repeated. ‘Don’t you think it’s time we went?’

‘Oh.’

‘You don’t mind me saying, you look like shit.’

‘Thanks.’

Lori put her hand out, in need of steadying. Sheryl grasped it.

‘You’ve seen all you need to, honey,’ she said.

‘Yes …’

‘Let it go.’

‘You know it still doesn’t seem quite real,’ Lori said. ‘Even standing here. Even seeing the place. I can’t quite believe it. How can he be so … irretrievable? There should be some way we could reach, don’t you think, some way to reach and touch them.’

‘Who?’

‘The dead. Otherwise it’s all nonsense, isn’t it? It’s all sadistic nonsense.’ She broke her hold with Sheryl; put her hand to her brow and rubbed it with her fingertips.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I’m not making much sense, am I?’

‘Honestly? No.’

Lori proffered an apologetic look.

‘Listen,’ Sheryl said, ‘the old town’s not what it used to be. I think we should get out of here and leave it to fall apart. Whadda you say?’

‘I’d vote for that.’

‘I keep thinking …’ Sheryl stopped.

‘What?’

‘I just don’t like the company very much,’ she said. ‘I don’t mean you,’ she added hurriedly.

‘Who then?’

‘All these dead folk,’ she said.

‘What dead folk?’

‘Over the hill. There’s a bloody cemetery.’

‘Really?’

‘It’s not ideal viewing in your state of mind,’ Sheryl said hurriedly. But she could tell by the expression on Lori’s face she shouldn’t have volunteered the information.

‘You don’t want to see,’ she said. ‘Really you don’t.’