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The Great and Secret Show

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2018
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‘No,’ she said.

‘Only when you … you … you …’ He was stumbling over the word, the muscles in his jaw working like he was chewing gum. ‘…. You …,’ he kept saying, ‘… you…’

‘I thought the same,’ she said, hoping her finishing his thought wouldn’t offend. It seemed not to. He gave a smile, his face relaxing.

‘It’s strange,’ she said. ‘You’re not from the Grove, are you?’

‘No. Chicago.’

‘That’s a ways to come.’

‘I was born here, though.’

‘You were?’

‘My name’s Howard Katz. Howie.’

‘I’m Jo-Beth …’

‘What time do you finish here?’

‘Around eleven. It’s good you came in tonight. I’m only here Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. If you’d come in tomorrow you would have missed me.’

‘We’d have found each other,’ he said, and the certainty in his statement made her want to cry.

‘I have to go back to work,’ she told him.

‘I’ll wait,’ he replied.

At eleven-ten they stepped out of Butrick’s together. The night was warm. Not a pleasant, breezy warmth, but humid.

‘Why did you come to the Grove?’ she asked him as they walked to her car.

‘To meet you.’

She laughed.

‘Why not?’ he said.

‘All right. So why did you leave in the first place?’

‘My mother moved us to Chicago when I was only a few weeks old. She never really spoke much about the ol’ home town. When she did it was like she was talking about hell. I suppose I wanted to see for myself. Maybe understand her and me a bit better.’

‘Is she still in Chicago?’

‘She’s dead. Died two years ago.’

‘That’s sad. What about your father?’

‘I don’t have one. Well … I mean … is … is –’ He started to stumble, fought it, and won. ‘I never knew him,’ he said.

‘This gets weirder.’

‘Why?’

‘It’s the same for me. I don’t know who my father is either.’

‘Doesn’t matter much, does it?’

‘It used to. Less now. I’ve got a twin, see? Tommy-Ray. He’s always been there for me. You must meet Tommy. You’ll love him. Everybody does.’

‘And you. I bet every … every … everybody loves you too.’

‘Meaning?’

‘You’re beautiful. I’m going to be competing with half the guys in Ventura County, right?’

‘Nope.’

‘Don’t believe you.’

‘Oh they look. But they don’t touch.’

‘Me included?’

She stopped walking. ‘I don’t know you, Howie. At least, I do and I don’t. Like when I saw you in the Steak House, I recognized you from somewhere. Except that I’ve never been to Chicago and you’ve not been in the Grove since –’ She suddenly frowned. ‘How old are you?’ she said.

‘Eighteen last April.’

Her frown deepened.

‘What?’ he said.

‘Me too.’

‘Huh?’

‘Eighteen last April. The fourteenth.’

‘I’m on the second.’

‘This is getting very strange, don’t you think? Me thinking I knew you. You thinking the same.’

‘It makes you uneasy.’

‘Am I that obvious?’

‘Yes. I never saw … saw … I never saw a face so … transparent. Makes me want to kiss it.’
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