Collins Letter Writing

1 Which adjectives you would use to describe the writer’s style.

2 What impression of himself the writer thinks he is creating.

3 What impression of himself he is really creating.

To Madame de Meurteuil

I shall not be seeing you today, my love, and here are my reasons, which I beg you will indulgently accept.

Yesterday, instead of returning here directly, I stopped at the Countess of ____’s, which was not far out of my way, and stayed there for dinner. I did not arrive in Paris until nearly seven o’clock, when I made my way to the Opera where I hoped you might be.

After the performance, I went to revisit my acquaintance of the greenroom. There I found my old friend Emilie surrounded by a host of admirers of both sexes for whom she was that very evening to provide supper at P_, I had no sooner joined the company when the invitation was, by general acclaim, extended to me, and in particular by a short and corpulent little man, who jabbered it out in Dutchman’s French. He I perceived to be the real hero of the occasion, I accepted.

On the way I learned that the house we were bound for represented the price fixed upon for Emilie’s favours to this grotesque creature and that the evening’s supper was in fact to be a sort of wedding feast. The little man could not contain his delight at the prospect of the happiness he was soon to enjoy. He looked so pleased with himself that I was tempted to disturb his complacency: which, as it happens, is what I did.

My only difficulty lay in prevailing upon Emilie: the burgomaster’s riches had made her a little scrupulous. After some hesitation, however, she gave her approval to my plan for glutting the little beer-barrel with wine, so putting him hors de combat for the rest of the night.

The high opinion we had formed of Dutch drinkers led us to employ every known method in our attempts: which succeeded so well that at dessert he no longer had strength enough to hold up his glass. Nevertheless the obliging Emilie and I continud to vie with each other in filling it up. He collapsed at length under the table in a drunken stupor such as cannot but last for a week. We decided then to send him back to Paris, and as he had not kept his carriage, I had him packed into mine and remained behind in his place. Whereupon I received the compliments of the company who retired soon after leaving me in possession of the field. So much amusement, and perhaps my long retirement, has made me find Emilie so desirable that I have promised to stay with her until the Dutchman returns to life.

This kindness I confer in exchange for one she has just done me. I have been using her for a desk upon which to write to my fair devotee – to whom I find it amusing I should send a letter written in bed, in the arms, almost, of a trollop, in which I give her an exact account of my situation and my conduct. Emilie, who read it, split her sides laughing: I hope you will laugh too.

As my letter must be franked in Paris, I am sending it to you; I leave it open. Be so good as to read it, to seal it….Good-bye, my love.

P__

Letter 47 in Les Liaisons Dangereuses (Dangerous Liaisons), by Choderlos de Laclos, from the Vicomte de Valmont to Madame de Meurteuil.

ANSWERS

1 A possible list of answers might include: sarcastic, cynical and bitter.

2 As above, plus his great wit, his good taste, his sophistication and, above all, his cleverness.

3 He is manipulative, intelligent and vain. He cares little for other people and yet is tremendously anxious about what image he strikes with them. He is selfish, cynical and thoroughly unpleasant.

This is one of the most famous fictional letters in French literature precisely because Choderlos de Laclos has managed to create a really interesting, witty and clever villain without making him in any way likeable. One of the characteristics that makes the character so menacing is that his style is so perfectly formed but, like that of Wilde’s Dorian Gray, contains a seething mass of corruption underneath. Style isn’t all. Just because the Vicomte de Valmont is, undoubtedly, clever and entertaining, that doesn’t make him nice.

Simple is best. Say what you mean. Only say it once.

The lessons one might learn from this exercise are to avoid using superfluous words and to steer carefully away from ludicrously inappropriate adjectives. It is sensible to avoid repetition wherever you can. If the reader needs to clarify your message, they may simply get the letter back out and reread it.

If you have to use adjectives, try not to use the same ones over and over again – ‘It’s lovely weather here in Bournemouth and our hotel is really lovely. We are having a lovely time.’ This is both boring and irritating to read. If you wish to emphasise a particular point it may well be necessary to repeat information but do try to vary the format, the sentence structure, or merely the order in which the words fall in the sentence. All these will make your letter more interesting to read and therefore more likely to be acted upon.

HOW TO TOP AND TAIL A LETTER (#ulink_0c127fa4-1fe7-5439-a6b9-e1af381b5fe0)

BEGINNING: Starting a letter badly can ruin the impression you are trying to create even before you begin writing. It goes without saying that most English correspondence begins with the word ‘Dear’. Letters have used this format since the 17th century and there is no real alternative to the formula in the English language.

This may sound obvious, but it is absolutely crucial to get the recipient’s name correct. If you do not bother to find out the exact spelling of their name, including their initials, titles and hyphens, you cannot really expect them to be well disposed towards you. People care about their names and to get them wrong generally indicates that you have not really put enough effort into your communication. If you don’t take those extra few minutes to get these things right, then why should the recipient make an effort? It is not difficult to check. Simply telephone the person’s office and ask the switchboard or the secretary for the correct spelling of the name in question. Nobody will find this in any way peculiar.

When writing to a woman, try to address her correctly and exactly as she would wish to be addressed. Check first whether she is ‘Miss’, ‘Mrs’ or ‘Ms’, ‘Dr’ or anything else. It is really annoying to be given the incorrect title. Writing to a man is not quite as hazardous but the same rules apply.

‘Dear Sir’ is very formal and should really be used only for particularly impersonal correspondence, including letters to public organisations or law firms. It should not really be used when addressing specific individuals within those firms. If you want a positive response from one of these anonymous and immense organisations, however, it would always be sensible to ring them up first and ask for the name of an individual within the department with which you are trying to do business. If you do not name a specific recipient, your letter may go to the bottom of a slush pile of post and may then take weeks to be read. Again, telephone the switchboard and ask for the correct name and title of a suitable individual.

Modifications of the word ‘Dear’ should be used with caution. ‘My dear X’ can sound patronising and old-fashioned. Launching into a letter without using the word ‘dear’ at all – ‘Lily, how are you?’, for example -could be taken as implying that Lily is not dear, and, in fact, that you probably don’t like her. It might be staid and conventional, but to avoid the potential negativity of this impression it’s best to stick to the safety of ‘Dear’.

ENDING: If you have begun your letter with the recipient’s own name (whether this be surname or first name), then you should always end your letter with the phrase ‘Yours sincerely’. Yours begins with a capital Y while the s of sincerely is in lower case.

Start with ‘Dear Tom,’ end with ‘Yours sincerely’.

If you have begun your letter with the phrase ‘Dear Sir’ or ‘Dear Madam’, then you should end with the phrase ‘Yours faithfully’.

Start with ‘Dear Sir’ (or Madam), end with ‘Yours faithfully’.

And that is basically the rule.

All other phrases are merely modifications of this formula. If you particularly like someone, or don’t want to appear too formal, then signing off with the word ‘Yours’ is a good middle option. ‘Best wishes’ might suffice if you are writing to a relative with whom you are not particularly friendly or to a close colleague with whom you feel you have a really good working relationship.

ILLUSTRATION 3 Basic layout for a standard letter

‘Love’ should, not unreasonably, be reserved for personal correspondence and, even then, only for people for whom it might be appropriate. Your parents, your children and your siblings are obvious contenders. If you’re a woman, you can use ‘love’ for all your close friends also. If you’re a man, you might not want to.

The very final element of your letter will be your signature. Your signature represents you. Most people, when composing formal correspondence, sign themselves with an initial for their first name and then conclude with their full surname: ‘J. Author’. More fulsome souls might sign themselves ‘Jemima Author’, which is fine but suggests that you want the recipient to know your first name. Anything longer than this, however, merely takes up a lot of paper and looks rather self-seeking. Anything shorter – ‘Jemima’ – is certainly inappropriate for business correspondence. Bear in mind that your signature might not be absolutely legible, so always try to print your full name underneath your signature so that the recipient knows exactly how to spell it, should he or she need to reply.

ADDRESSES

You should always include your own address, preferably across the top of the page. If you have headed notepaper, the matter is settled for you, but if you don’t, then it is very rude not to supply your own details.

DO include the recipient’s name and address at the top left of the page in full.

Always use the recipient’s full postcode – what’s the point of getting this wrong, even on quite a short letter? If you don’t know the correct code then you can telephone the recipient’s office and check. It takes a few seconds and will ensure that your letter gets there as quickly as possible. If you don’t want to ring the office, you can ring the Royal Mail Postcode Enquiries desk who will tell you the exact postcode for the address you have written down. You can also check postcodes on the web at

WEB TIP

http://afis.postoffice.co.uk:8080/RoyalMail/PBS/pcodefin.asp.

It is correct to follow the number of the building by a comma, but common practice these days is to leave it out.

DON’T place the name of any house in inverted commas. It looks really messy and slightly old-fashioned.

In professional correspondence there should be no comma at the end of each line of the address. In personal correspondence, a comma may be used at the end of each line if you feel the recipient might appreciate a truly old-fashioned style. Use your discretion.

Always remember to use the recipient’s postcode, even on quite a short letter.

MAIN COUNTY ABBREVIATIONS

(See appendix on p. 236 for a full list of conventional county abbreviations.)

DATES