My Baby, My Love

When Noah smiled like that a woman better be heavily grounded in reality, Sydney decided, or she’d find herself in a helpless puddle at his feet.

“You know, I’ve been thinking about the attacker,” she told Noah after a time, breaking their comfortable silence and shoving the remains of her lunch to one side. “I don’t think the attacker meant to choke me like that. I think he was trying to keep me from screaming and applied too much pressure. But I wish I knew what it was he wanted from me.”

Noah reached out and stroked her arm. He had rough, coarse hands with strangely long, graceful fingers. There was strength in those hands.

“You showed amazing presence of mind pressing that call button, Syd. That action probably saved your life.”

“You know, I hate being called Syd.”

He smiled, another slow smile she felt clear to her toes.

“I’ll try to remember that. What do you say we go over to your apartment and get you something to wear?”

“I’d rather not,” she said quickly.

“What’s wrong?”

How could she explain? “I’m not ready to go back to the apartment. Not just yet.”

“You’re going to have to face the place sooner or later, Syd.”

“I vote for later,” she told him firmly. She wanted to tell him that it wasn’t her apartment. That it had never been her apartment. All she’d brought to her marriage were her clothes and her plants—and her dreams. The only thing left was the plants.

Noah studied her with eyes that saw far more than she wanted to reveal. “I have clothes at my…at the apartment I used to share with Laura and Hannah. It’s closer.”

“All right.”

She closed her eyes against the questions she could almost hear. Without warning, memories sprang from ambush, catching her unaware. She tried to push them aside and couldn’t.

If the nurse hadn’t come in response to her call…if she hadn’t started screaming right away…

Sydney shuddered. She felt Noah touch her arm, but her mind had suddenly shifted, drawing her back inside the bank where bright red blood had stained the white tile floor.

So much blood.

The shots echoed over and over again. She could feel the weight of Jerome’s body pressing against hers as they fell, felt her head snap back….

“Sydney! Hey, easy. Take it easy.”

“Sorry.” She couldn’t see his face. Her eyes filled with pools of tears despite her best efforts to hold them at bay. “There was so much blood.”

Noah swore softly. “How did we get from clothes to blood? Never mind. It’s okay. It’s just reaction. Everything’s all over.”

She tried to tell him that she knew it was okay. That she didn’t want to cry. But her throat was clogged with unshed tears, pushing for release.

“I should have done something.”

Noah shook his head. “There was nothing you could have done.”

He didn’t understand. He didn’t know how it had been. Jerome telling her how to dress, how to act. Her words bouncing off his anger without impact. Attempts to communicate that failed repeatedly.

She shook her head from side to side. The kaleidoscope of images was becoming all twisted and confused. Noah’s hand rested kindly on her shoulder, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. Couldn’t bear to see his pity.

Jerome was dead, but she was pregnant and someone wanted to hurt her. What was she going to do?

She didn’t remember moving, but she found herself sitting on the bed, her face pressed against Noah’s hard chest while tears matted his clean white shirt. Fear and horror mingled with hopeless regret. They spilled into racking sobs she couldn’t contain.

She cried forever, unable to stop. Only when a teardrop brushed her forehead did she manage to rein in the tide of emotions. Noah was crying, too? The idea that this strong man could shed a tear for his brother finally stemmed her own grief.

How Jerome would have loved this scene.

Sydney brushed at her wet face, unable to look at Noah. He stroked her hair then stood and strode into the bathroom. She’d embarrassed him as well as herself.

Water ran in the basin. When he returned, he handed her a damp washcloth. Gratefully, she wiped her face, aware that her damp hair was plastered around it.

“Excuse me.” She fled into the bathroom without looking at him.

Noah didn’t move as she disappeared. He was as shaken by his own grief as he was by hers.

The hair dryer started and he wondered how she was going to dry her hair with only one hand. Then he decided he didn’t care as long as she didn’t ask him for help.

He’d thought he had complete control of his emotions—until Sydney came apart in his arms. Her helpless anguish had finally released the grief he had buried right along with his parents, and now his only brother. It was as if Sydney had given him a conduit to his own emotions.

Noah had deliberately fostered the distance between himself and his brother when he was younger. He’d been unable and unwilling to accept Jerome, because it meant accepting his father’s infidelity. Noah would live with that regret for the rest of his life.

He couldn’t go back, but he could move forward. And forward meant Sydney and the child she carried. She didn’t seem to realize that the baby was an unbreakable connection between them. A biological link that meant he would never be able to walk away from his brother’s wife.

Part of him was selfishly glad.

Noah expelled a sigh and repacked his bag. He checked the room for loose articles and called the front desk to check out. All he needed was his shaving gear and he’d be ready to go.

The telephone rang.

Noah eyed the instrument with suspicion. “Hello?”

“Major Inglewood? Agent Wickowski. I’m sorry to bother you, but we need to come up and talk with Sydney right away.”

“This isn’t a go—”

“They fished a man out of the Potomac River a little while ago.”

“So?”

“Long hair? Beard? Mustache? Ring a few bells, Major?”

Noah sucked in his breath.

“He was wearing hospital scrubs and carrying Sydney’s wallet. Someone shot him in the head at point-blank range.”