Moll Flanders

I would fain have the conduct of my sex a little regulated in this particular, which is the same thing in which of all the parts of life I think at this time we suffer most in: ‘tis nothing but lack of courage, the fear of not being married at all, and of that frightful state of life, called an old maid. This, I say, is the woman’s snare; but would the ladies once but get above that fear and manage rightly, they would more certainly avoid it by standing their ground in a case so absolutely necessary to their felicity, than by exposing themselves as they do; and if they did not marry so soon, they would make themselves amends by marrying safer; she is always married too soon who gets a bad husband, and she is never married too late who gets a good one: in a word, there is no woman, deformity or lost reputation excepted, but if she manages well may be married safely one time or other; but if she precipitates herself it is ten thousand to one but she is undone.

But I come now to my own case, in which there was at this time no little nicety. The circumstances I was in made the offer of a good husband the most necessary thing in the world to me; but I found soon that to be made cheap and easy, was not the way: it soon began to be found that the widow had no fortune, and to say this was to say all that was ill of me: being well bred, handsome, witty, modest, and agreeable; all which I had allowed to my character, whether justly or no is not to the purpose: I say, all these would not do without the dross. In short, the widow, they said, had no money!

I resolved therefore that it was necessary to change my station and make a new appearance in some other place, and even to pass by another name if I found occasion.

I communicated my thoughts to my intimate friend the captain’s lady, who I had so faithfully served in her case with the captain, and who was as ready to serve me in the same kind as I could desire: I made no scruple to lay my circumstances open to her; my stock was but low, for I had made but about £540 at the close of my last affair, and I had wasted some of that: however, I had about £460 left, a great many very rich clothes, a gold watch and some jewels, though of no extraordinary value, and about £30 or £40 left in linen not disposed of.

My dear and faithful friend, the captain’s wife, was so sensible of the service I had done her in the affair above that she was not only a steady friend to me, but knowing my circumstances she frequently made me presents as money came into her hands; such as fully amounted to a maintenance, so that I spent none of my own; and at last she made this unhappy proposal to me, namely, that as we had observed, as above, how the men made no scruple to set themselves out as persons meriting a woman of fortune of their own, it was but just to deal with them in their own way, and if it was possible to deceive the deceiver.

The captain’s lady, in short, put this project into my head, and told me if I would be ruled by her I should certainly get a husband of fortune without leaving him any room to reproach me with want of my own. I told her that I would give up myself wholly to her directions, and that I would have neither tongue to speak, or feet to step in that affair, but as she should direct me; depending that she would extricate me out of every difficulty that she brought me into, which she said she would answer for.

The first step she put me upon was to call her cousin, and go to a relation’s house of hers in the country where she directed me, and where she brought her husband to visit me, and calling me cousin, she worked matters so about that her husband and she together invited me most passionately to come to town and live with them, for they now lived in a quite different place from where they were before. In the next place she tells her husband that I had at least £1,500 fortune, and that I was like to have a great deal more.

It was enough to tell her husband this, there needed nothing on my side; I was but to sit still and wait the event, for it presently went all over the neighbourhood that the young widow at Captain —’s was a fortune, that she had at least £1,500, and perhaps a great deal more, and that the captain said so, and if the captain was asked at any time about me he made no scruple to affirm it, though he knew not one word of the matter other than that his wife had told him so; and in this he thought no harm, for he really believed it to be so. With the reputation of this fortune, I presently found myself blessed with admirers enough, and that I had my choice of men, as they said they were, which, by the way, confirms what I was saying before: this being my case, I who had a subtle game to play, had nothing now to do but to single out from them all the properest man that might be for my purpose; that is to say, the man who was most likely to depend upon the hearsay of fortune, and not enquire too far into the particulars; and unless I did this I did nothing, for my case would not bear much enquiry.

I picked out my man without much difficulty by the judgment I made of his way of courting me: I had let him run on with his protestations that he loved me above all the world; that if I would make him happy, that was enough; all which I knew was upon supposition that I was very rich, though I never told him a word of it myself.

This was my man, but I was to try him to the bottom, and indeed in that consisted my safety, for if he baulked I knew I was undone as surely as he was undone if he took me; and if I did not make some scruple about his fortune, it was the way to lead him to raise some about mine; and first therefore, I pretended on all occasions to doubt his sincerity, and told him perhaps he only courted me for my fortune; he stopped my mouth in that part with the thunder of his protestations as above, but still I pretended to doubt.

One morning he pulls off his diamond ring, and writes upon the glass of the sash in my chamber this line,

You I love, and you alone.

I read it and asked him to lend me the ring, with which I wrote under it thus,

And so in love says everyone.

He takes his ring again, and writes another line thus,

Virtue alone is an estate.

I borrowed it again and I wrote under it,

But money’s virtue, gold is fate.

He coloured as red as fire to see me turn so quick upon him, and in a kind of rage told me he would conquer me, and wrote again thus,

I scorn your gold, and yet I love.

I ventured all upon the last cast of poetry, as you’ll see, for I wrote boldly under his last, I’m poor: let’s see how kind you’ll prove.

This was a sad truth to me, whether he believed me or no I could not tell; I supposed then that he did not. However he flew to me, took me in his arms, and kissing me very eagerly, and with the greatest passion imaginable, he held me fast till he called for a pen and ink, and told me he could not wait the tedious writing on a glass, but pulling out a piece of paper he began and wrote again,

Be mine with all your poverty.

I took his pen, and followed immediately thus,

Yet secretly you hope I lie.

He told me that was unkind because it was not just, and that I put him upon contradicting me, which did not consist with good manners, and therefore since I had insensibly drawn him into this poetical scribble, he begged I would not oblige him to break it off, so he writes again,

Let love alone be our debate.

I wrote again,

She loves enough that does not hate.

This he took for a favour, and so laid down the cudgels, that is to say, the pen; I say he took it for a favour, and a mighty one it was if he had known all: however, he took it as I meant it, that is, to let him think I was inclined to go on with him, as indeed I had reason to do, for he was the best-humoured merry sort of a fellow that I ever met with; and I often reflected how doubly criminal it was to deceive such a man; but that necessity which pressed me to a settlement suitable to my condition was my authority for it, and certainly his affection to me and the goodness of his temper, however they might argue against using him ill, yet they strongly argued to me that he would better take the disappointment than some fiery tempered wretch, who might have nothing to recommend him but those passions which would serve only to make a woman miserable.

Besides, though I had jested with him (as he supposed it) so often about my poverty, yet when he found it to be true, he had foreclosed all manner of objection, seeing, whether he was in jest or in earnest, he had declared he took me without any regard to my portion, and, whether I was in jest or in earnest, I had declared myself to be very poor, so that, in a word, I had him fast both ways; and though he might say afterwards he was cheated yet he could never say that I had cheated him.

He pursued me close after this, and, as I saw there was no need to fear losing him, I played the indifferent part with him longer than prudence might otherwise have dictated to me: but I considered how much this caution and indifference would give me the advantage over him when I should come to own my circumstances to him; and I managed it the more warily because I found he inferred from thence that I had either the more money or the more judgment, and would not venture at all.

I took the freedom one day to tell him that it was true I had received the compliment of a lover from him, namely, that he would take me without enquiring into my fortune, and I would make him a suitable return in this, namely, that I would make as little enquiry into his as consisted with reason, but I hoped he would allow me to ask some questions which he should answer or not as he thought fit; one of these questions related to our manner of living, and the place where, because I had heard he had a great plantation in Virginia, and I told him I did not care to be transported.

He began from this discourse to let me voluntarily into all his affairs, and to tell me in a frank open way all his circumstances, by which I found he was very well to pass in the world; but that great part of his estate consisted of three plantations which he had in

Virginia, which brought him in a very good income of about £300 a year; but that if he was to live on them, would bring him in four times as much. Very well, thought I, you shall carry me thither then as soon as you please, though I won’t tell you so beforehand.

I jested with him about the figure he would make in Virginia; but found he would do anything I desired, so I turned my tale. I told him I had good reason not to desire to go there to live, because if his plantations were worth so much there, I had not a fortune suitable to a gentleman of £1,200 a year, as he said his estate would be.

He replied he did not ask what my fortune was, he had told me from the beginning he would not, and he would be as good as his word; but whatever it was, he assured me he would never desire me to go to Virginia with him, or go thither himself without me, unless I made it my choice.

All this, you may be sure, was as I wished, and indeed nothing could have happened more perfectly agreeable; I carried it on as far as this with a sort of indifferency that he often wondered at, and I mention it the rather to intimate again to the ladies that nothing but want of courage for such an indifferency makes our sex so cheap, and prepares them to be ill used as they are; would they venture the loss of a pretending fop now and then, who carries it high upon the point of his own merit, they would certainly be slighted less, and courted more; had I discovered really what my great fortune was, and that in all I had not full £500 when he expected £1,500, yet I hooked him so fast and played with him so long, that I was satisfied he would have had me in my worst circumstances; and indeed it was less a surprise to him when he learnt the truth than it would have been, because having not the least blame to lay on me who had carried it with an air of indifference to the last, he could not say one word except that indeed he thought it had been more, but that if it had been less, he did not repent his bargain; only that he should not be able to maintain me so well as he intended.

In short, we were married, and very happily married on my side, I assure you, as to the man: for he was the best humoured man that ever woman had, but his circumstances were not so good as I imagined, as on the other hand he had not bettered himself so much as he expected.

When we were married I was shrewdly put to it to bring him that little stock I had, and to let him see it was no more; but there was a necessity for it, so I took my opportunity one day when we were alone to enter into a short dialogue with him about it. “My dear,” said I, “we have been married a fortnight, is it not time to let you know whether you have got a wife with something or with nothing?”

“Your own time for that, my dear,” says he; “I am satisfied I have got the wife I love; I have not troubled you much,” says he, “with my enquiry after it.”

“That’s true,” said I, “but I have a great difficulty about it, which I scarce know how to manage.”

“What’s that, my dear?” says he.

“Why,” says I, “‘tis a little hard upon me, and ‘tis harder upon you; I am told that Captain—” (meaning my friend’s husband) “has told you I had a great deal more than ever I pretended to have, and I am sure I never employed him so to do.”

“Well,” says he, “Captain — may have told me so, but what then, if you have not so much, that may lie at his door, but you never told me what you had, so I have no reason to blame you if you have nothing at all.”

“That is so just,” said I, “and so generous, that it makes my having but a little a double affliction to me.”

“The less you have, my dear,” says he, “the worse for us both; but I hope your affliction is not caused for fear I should be unkind to you for want of a portion; no, no, if you have nothing, tell me plainly; I may perhaps tell the Captain he has cheated me, but I can never say you have, for did not you give it under your hand that you was poor, and so I ought to expect you to be?”

“Well,” said I, “my dear, I am glad I have not been concerned in deceiving you before marriage, if I deceive you since, ‘tis ne’er the worse; that I am poor, ‘tis too true, but not so poor as to have nothing neither.” So I pulled out some bank bills and gave him about a hundred and sixty pounds. “There is something, my dear,” says I, “and not quite all neither.”

I had brought him so near to expecting nothing, by what I had said before, that the money, though the sum was small in itself, was doubly welcome; he owned it was more than he looked for, and that he did not question by my discourse to him but that my fine clothes, gold watch, and a diamond ring or two, had been all my fortune.

I let him please himself with that £160 two or three days, and then having been abroad that day, and as if I had been to fetch it, I brought him a hundred pounds more home in gold, and told him there was a little more portion for him; and, in short, in about a week more, I brought him £180 more, and about £60 in linen, which I made believe I had been obliged to take with the £100 which I gave him in gold, as a composition for a debt of £600, being little more than five shillings in the pound, and over-valued too.