A tap at the front door drew my attention. ‘I’ll just see who that is,’ I announced, trying to appear calm as I left the room. As if I didn’t know. Sam, Jack and Holly bustled through the front door, then stamped their feet on the welcome mat. The three of them were giggling excitedly and I overheard the words sledging and snowman. I’d have to check the forecast because more snow was definitely needed at Hawthorne Manor. It just had to dump more of the fluffy white stuff to make their Christmas perfect. But once we’d been out to get a tree. Not before. We needed a tree.
Trying to control the weather now, Katie?
‘Hi, Katie!’ Sam approached me with a child clinging to each hand.
‘Hi, Sam.’ I tried to sound nonchalant but my heart was in my throat. He looked positively edible. His black hair and eyebrows emphasised the chocolate pools of his eyes. He wore faded jeans with a light-grey sweater and a pair of bulky black Caterpillar boots. (I have a thing for boots like that. They remind me of workmen on a building site, all manly and full of testosterone. I always think that men wearing that type of footwear must be big enough and strong enough to appreciate a full-bodied woman like me.) Sam’s fitted jeans showed off wide shapely thighs a rugby player would be proud of, and his sweater did nothing but draw my attention to the rippling muscles underneath. I sighed inwardly; there was no way that anything could ever happen between us again…was there?
‘Bacon!’ I blurted out.
‘Sorry?’ He was so close now that I could enjoy his scent. Fresh citrus shower gel mingled with something deeper and sexier like cloves and cinnamon. I closed my eyes and licked my lips.
‘Daddy, why is Katie sleeping standing up?’ I blinked quickly and my cheeks flushed. Ooops!
‘She’s just a bit tired this morning, Holly,’ Sam said to the tiny person at his side.
‘I thought she was after a kiss under the mistletoe,’ Jack said as he pointed to the previously unnoticed greenery above our heads. Who had put that there?
‘Well I’d hate to disappoint a lady.’ Sam grinned at me and my insides somersaulted. He wasn’t serious?
‘Go on then Daddy.’ Holly shook Sam’s hand. ‘Kiss her.’
‘Katie?’ Sam raised his eyebrows and released his children’s hands. He leaned forwards and whispered in my ear, ‘I guess it couldn’t hurt.’
What choice did we have? It would look strange now if I refused. I had no choice. Really.
I took a step closer to him and gazed into his eyes. They were so warm and inviting that I could have written a romance novel about them. He raised his hands and cupped my cheeks, his palms cool and smooth against my sensitive skin. My heart thundered as he moved towards me, my senses went into overdrive as his scent overwhelmed me. Then his soft warm lips met mine and I melted completely, my knees trembling as I struggled to stay upright. I was a ragdoll, a puppet to be manipulated. The room swirled and the ground swayed beneath my feet. It was at once familiar yet brand new, as if we hadn’t once been deeply in love, yet as if we’d never been apart.
But it was over as soon as it had begun, and I had to swallow a sigh of disappointment.
‘Well done, Daddy,’ Jack patted Sam’s back. ‘It was probably easier to do that this morning now that she hasn’t got her clown make-up on.’
Sam’s lips twitched and I turned away quickly and muttered, ‘From the mouths of babes and all that.’
They followed me into the dining room and took their seats while Mum fluttered around them, piling their plates with bacon, eggs and grilled tomatoes and filling glasses with freshly squeezed orange juice and mugs with coffee. I sat next to Aunty Gina and she took my hand under the table and leant in close.
‘I saw that, you know.’
‘What?’ I tried not to blush again.
‘Under the mistletoe.’
‘Oh…it was just…his children, they uh… Where’s Rebecca? Hasn’t she got up yet?’
‘Don’t try to change the subject, Katie. I hung the mistletoe in the doorway this morning. I saw how he was looking at you last night and I thought it would give him the perfect opportunity.’
I stared at her. My funny, eccentric Aunty Gina, so reminiscent of my little old grandmother. Of course, Granny had wiry white hair and thick crow’s feet etched into her tiny face. But Gina’s eyes were lit with a similar wisdom, experience and mischief. Maybe she was right. Maybe not. But it was nice to imagine that she could be. That Katie Warham could really be the girl that Sam might choose to kiss under the mistletoe. Even after all that had happened.
But life’s not that easy or straightforward, right?
***
Once the breakfast things had been cleared away, we all gathered in the spacious hallway.
‘So who’s coming into Tonbridge?’ Karl asked as he slung an arm around Angelo’s shoulder. I watched as his boyfriend leant in to him, his gaze full of adoration.
‘I am!’ I waved my hand.
‘Not me,’ Dad said. ‘I’m spending the morning with the papers and a pot of coffee.’
‘I’m with your father on that one,’ Gina said. ‘And I still have some presents to wrap.’
‘Mum?’ Karl patted Esther’s arm.
‘Oh no, darling. I have far too much to do here.’
‘It’ll be a bit busy for the kids on Christmas Eve.’ Sam wrinkled his nose. ‘So I’d better stay here. They both hate crowded shops.’ He smiled but I could sense disappointment.
‘Well I have an idea,’ Mum spoke up. ‘I have lots of baking to do and I could really use some help.’
Oh no! I should have offered to stay but I still had a few last-minute gifts to get. Especially now that Sam and the children were here. I ought to get them something. I glanced at Mum but she wasn’t looking in my direction.
‘What do you think, Jack and Holly? Can you make gingerbread men?’
She was asking the children so that Sam could go into town. Well done, Esther! Was she coming out on the other side of the menopause with a brand-new heart?
‘Yes please!’ Holly shouted. ‘Can I, Daddy?’
‘I don’t know. Are you sure, Esther? I mean, won’t they get under your feet?’
‘Not at all.’ Mum smiled and her eyes actually lit up. ‘I’d love to have their company.’
‘Can I make gingerbread soldiers instead?’ Jack asked.
‘If you like.’ Esther raised her eyebrows, probably wondering how she’d create that particular shape and if they’d have to have guns.
‘Okay. Thank you, Esther. I’ll owe you.’ Sam flashed Mum a smile and she waved her hand at him. She always did have a soft spot for him, and she was really disappointed when Sam and I split up. But she’d also said that in light of what had happened, it might be best for both of us.
‘No trouble at all, Sam. Come on then, team. Into the kitchen we go.’
‘I’ll just take Sportacus and Stephanie on a quick walk then I’ll be ready,’ Sam said.
‘We just need to brush our teeth,’ Karl said and he and Angelo headed upstairs. I tried not to notice how Karl patted Angelo’s backside. I hoped they weren’t off for a quickie. Dad and Gina went into the drawing room and I was left alone with Sam.
‘What’s up, Katie?’
‘Huh?’
‘You’re nervous.’