‘I don’t…’
‘Oh, come on! You can’t have it all just for free, can you? Have the balls to confirm you’re a whore!’
Anastasia almost syllabified the last word. She felt her superiority and capability to have pressure on Vic. She liked mocking her. Being in shock Victoria looked so funny! Up to a certain time.
Suddenly there was a black veil before Victoria’s eyes. The girl smiled. Rose up.
‘8 years ago… maybe 10,’ Victoria whispered, closing the eyes. ‘A park. There is so much foliage, summer is all bluster and life intents on spreading… It’s a big park. The title The Botanic Garden is not finished on the map…’
‘What are you speaking about?’ Anastasia tried to interrupt Vic with no ideas what Victoria was speaking about.
‘I’m sad… offended. My parents don’t understand me, they refuse to understand. But I’m so cleaver. I’ve been living enough to have my own opinion about life and future.’
‘Are you insane indeed?’ Anastasia looked worrying.
‘Rustles. Bushes. The nearest to me. I’m scared. A man with no trousers? He’s in the bushes, his trousers half down below the knees, his hands don’t know tiredness… I wanna scream… I’m scared…and interested. I’m turning to him…’
‘Hey!’ Anastasia hissed. ‘Shut up, will you?’
‘Oh, yes… I wanna leave but curiosity is holding me tightly. The man asks not to leave. I’m staying. He asks to get on my knees and make a blow job. There’s money in his hand. I take his money it’s not much. I’m shocked but not scared yet. The man reminds me that I have to touch him, there’s another note in his hand. I need money… I take the note and do what he wants me to do. It’s hot and pulsative in my hands…’
‘You idiot!’ Anastasia hissed. ‘Shut up now!’
‘It’s not disgusting for me. I’m still interested… and it’s pleasant now. Why not try? It seems to be ugh, but I like it… There’s another note is his hand.’
Victoria opened the eyes and with naughty smile stared at her colleague in whose past she’d been crawling tight now shamelessly.
‘Do you still think that the person whose behaviour is supposed to be obscene is me in this room?’
The poison was juicing out of her lips, enveloped the words with its venom, hurting Anastasia. Of course, she remembered that story. Perfectly remembered. For a while she had thought that she was nobody, but she found strengths to reassure herself about it. Besides she was definitely sure that nobody would ever know about her part-time work.
‘I can see the similar case in your life and not the only one…’ Victoria said, ‘and it wasn’t the last one…Huh… Whore!’
‘How did you know it?’ Anastasia screamed and ran out of the office, having slammed the door.
The smile disappeared at once from Victoria’s face like if the slammed door exorcised an evil spirit out of her. By no means Victoria didn’t mean to mock and much less humiliate Anastasia. She didn’t understand what had come over her. She didn’t recognize herself. Victoria drew in breath, covered her face with her hands and sat down into her armchair.
There was an envelope on the dim screen. With no desire Victoria touched the mouse.
Unknown Person: “Well, look who decided to show up… I’m glad that people remember of me when they’re in troubles. Trying to help you. What’s it now? Whom you’re gonna call for? Lucifer again?”
Victoria: “Your sarcasm is out of place. I’ve got a severe problem with my head”
Victoria furiously typing the message.
Unknown Person: “I’ve already noticed it. What happened?”
Vic was looking at the screen, squeezing and cracking her fingers. She felt uncomfortable because of a thought what was going to happen next. What would Sergey think of her after she told him about her imaginary friends? What if he decided that she was crazy? Vic couldn’t bear it.
Victoria: “When can you call a person crazy?”
For a long time Victoria was waiting for an answer, looking at the empty screen and being afraid that she plunged the man into a shock.
Unknown Person: “Two answers. The first is you can call a person a crazy in any way, as we don’t know what insanity is indeed. We can just assume that if someone behaves in a strange way he or she means to be out of wreck. The second is bad one. All are crazy who burn their lives, wasting time on empty things”
Victoria: “So you mean people who hallucinate can’t be called psychos?”
Unknown Person: “What way do they hallucinate in? Distorting walls after having eatenPsilocybe cubensis or phantom of a dead friend?”
Having read the answer Victoria gave a shiver. Phantoms. Sergey also spoke about them. There were either two people with the same symptoms or coincidence. But Victoria stopped trusting in coincidence. She didn’t know yet what it meant. There was nothing by accident in her life. And if there was it just seemed to be by accident and Vic couldn’t get the source of what happened.
Victoria: “I can get the Psilocybe cubensis effect. People who see phantoms… Why can they see them?”
There was silence again hanging for several minutes, echoing in hundreds of hours. The nerves were shivering and waiting for the answers anticipating events. Victoria forgot about it. she was interested in only Sergey’s answer. And he did.
Unknown Person: “Mediums. Witches. Magicians. Psychics and herbalists and all their derivate. This is the category of psychos who can see other people among people. They can see them because for some people they are lying psychos and for others: they have a gift and we don’t know where it came from”
Victoria: “How to understand that it’s a phantom not a hallucination?”
Unknown Person: “Why’re you asking, Vic? Let’s be honest”
Victoria got stuck in a holding mood. Actually, she was afraid of answering anything to Sergey. What if he made fun of her and then call her a crazy fool?
The girl put away the laptop and stared at the wall sadly. There was a fight pro and contra inside. And in 5 minutes pro won having made the girl text the answer.
Victoria: “I think I’m going crazy. I can see people whom nobody can see. I can hear voices silent to others. I can feel touches of disembodied things in comparison to people. I can see things which can’t be described. There are fragments of lives that I didn’t get through. I can be thrown in a time storm and I don’t know how to stop it. Am I crazy? Shall I see mental specialist?”
Victoria sent the message and smiled so doomy, getting ready for a negative answer. To live with craziness was easier when you confirmed its presence. It meant you were aware of your actions and thoughts. And if there were consciousness and awareness so there was a chance that insanity is false.
A half and an hour had passed before Sergey answered. Victoria expected to see a big text with many questions, distrust and accusations, mick and sarcasm. But there was only one sentence in his replay.
Unknown Person: “Were there magician, witches or psychics in your family?”
Vic frowned. Did he decide to play along? Or did he pretend to be a psycho?
Victoria: “What magicians and psychics, dude? I mean it! My family is a depository of intellectuals and materialist by blood. They were always like this. There are no witches”
Unknown Person: “Well, congratulations, dear, you’re the first in your family”
Victoria: “I’ve asked to be serious, Sergey”
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