Born Under The Lone Star

“That summer.”

“But how—”

“Remember when I had that bad case of mono and dropped out of school and Frankie told mother she would tutor me and take care of me in Austin?”

Robbie nodded.

“Then that summer when I was supposed to be at that Christian leadership camp for a month? Well, I didn’t ever have mono and it wasn’t a leadership camp.”

Troubled emotions flitted across Robbie’s face as she struggled to add it all up. “I remember when Frankie moved you down to her apartment. That was right before she married Kyle.”

“Yes. She finished nursing school that May,” Markie supplied.

“Right.” Robbie nodded.

“She and Kyle got married—”

“At the courthouse. You know, I think she always resented the fact that Mother and Daddy threw a huge hometown wedding for me and Danny.”

“It was Kyle’s idea to skip the wedding. They were in a big hurry to settle in and set up their first apartment in time for him to start his residency. Then I popped into the picture. It was no picnic, living with young marrieds as a pregnant teenager. Kyle wasn’t all that great about it. Poor Frankie. She was trying to help her baby sister and at the same time trying to please a very demanding young husband.”

“And now he’s a demanding old husband,” Robbie pronounced. Kyle, barely past forty, wasn’t exactly old. But Markie knew that Robbie and Danny had never cared for their uppity, sneering brother-in-law.

“Yeah. I was glad he was off on his residency rotations most of the time.”

“I can’t believe she married the guy, even if he is handsome as all get out. Was that it, Markie?” Robbie turned on her younger sister, eyes radiating sympathy. “Your big sisters were falling in love and getting married so you got in a big hurry to do the same? You always were trying to keep up with us like that.”

“No, that wasn’t it!” Markie couldn’t keep the annoyance out of her voice. “Look,” she continued more gently, “I was genuinely in love with the father of the baby. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving him.”

“Who was it?” Robbie asked softly. “If you don’t mind my asking. I mean, I don’t remem—” Robbie stopped as if a truck had slammed into her. “Oh, my gosh. It was that congressman’s son! What was his name?”

“Justin Kilgore. It’s all in there.” Which was foolish, she supposed, having the whole thing written down like that. But even with all the pain recorded in its pages, some compulsion had kept Markie from being able to part with the diary.

“Justin Kilgore.” Robbie’s soft voice was full of awe. “I don’t believe it. Justin and his father used to come into the Hungry Aggie back when I was waiting tables. I always kind of liked him. I remember how he’d always ask about you, how he always found a way to work your name into even the briefest conversation. And then when you guys started seeing each other…oh, my.” Robbie’s shoulders sank and her soft voice grew hushed. “It was partly my fault, wasn’t it? I mean, I helped you go sneaking around with an older guy.”

“Robbie. It wasn’t your fault. I was a big girl. I made my own choices.”

“I guess. But I should have told Mother what was going on. But you seemed so…so happy with him. I thought he was kind of right for you. He was so handsome, Markie. And so smart. So very nice. What a terrible ordeal.” Robbie lowered her head.

Markie lowered her head, too. As she did, she brought the diary to her lips, fighting tears. “Yes,” she whispered with her lips pressed against the dry, musty fabric, “it was.”

“Oh, my poor baby!” Robbie wrapped her arms around her sister’s shoulders. “I can’t imagine how painful it was for you.”

Markie struggled not to let herself feel it—all the emotion she had kept bottled up for eighteen long, lonely years. “It’s nothing compared to what you’re going through now.”

Robbie turned her head into Markie’s shoulder.

Markie clasped her sister’s forearm, holding on tight, afraid that what she had kept so carefully sealed away would crush them both if she let it out now.

But when Robbie started to cry, Markie knew there was no hope of holding her own tears in.

For a moment the two wept and clung in a sisterly hug.

Finally Robbie held her sister away at arm’s length. “You had a baby with Justin Kilgore.” She looked into Markie’s brimming eyes and pronounced each word slowly, as if trying to cement the fact in both their minds.

Markie swiped at her eyes and looked down at the worn floorboards. How she had hated this barren room as a young girl, especially after the warmth of her sisters was gone from it. “Yes. I just hate it that you found out this way, now of all times.”

But Robbie, who could be incredibly strong as well as kind, shook her head. She wiped at her eyes with the sash of her robe and suddenly she looked more like her old self than she had in days. “I hate it that you suffered with it alone all this time. I can’t imagine. Being so young and having a baby off in Austin, with a congressman’s son, no less.”

Another silence stretched before Markie said, “I wouldn’t say it was with him.” She glanced at Robbie to see if she comprehended.

But Robbie frowned. “What do you mean?”

“He never knew.”

“You mean he never knew that…” Robbie hesitated, and Markie imagined her sister was still struggling with the fact that she had a living, breathing nephew somewhere in Dallas. “That you gave the baby away?”

“No. He never even knew I was pregnant.”

“Mar-kie.” Robbie stared at her. “He never even knew—I don’t understand.” Robbie tilted her head, looking disturbed now, as well as perplexed. “I mean, I can see how you kept this from me, maybe, but how could you keep such a thing from the baby’s father?”

“He… I didn’t think he wanted to know. I was young. I was convinced. People—the congressman and Mother—convinced me that it would ruin Justin’s future if he knew, that there was no point in telling him if I wasn’t going to keep the baby, anyway.” Markie’s voice trailed off as she realized how weak and sorry her excuses sounded now, coming from a competent woman of thirty-five. But back then, she had been one very scared teenager. And back then, she had felt so angry, so betrayed.

“Besides…” Markie had trouble admitting this next part even to herself, much less to her sister. “He was already engaged.”

“Engaged?” This time when Robbie stared, her jaw dropped, as well. “The guy was engaged and he…he…when you were just a teenager?”

“He was only twenty-one himself.”

“Stop defending him! Apparently all that Mr. Nice Guy stuff was nothing but an act. He was busy getting you pregnant while he was engaged to another girl, Markie.”

“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t about the sex.”

“Oh, please. Let’s call a spade a spade, okay? The guy was a creep. I mean, when did he decide to tell you about his fiancé? Right before he dumped you and went back east?”

Markie bit her lip to gain control. Robbie could be so small town, so black and white in her thinking. She of all people would never understand what had happened between the young couple. “He never did tell me, exactly. Mother found out about the engagement from his father and she was the one who told me.”

Robbie shook her head sadly. “Mother.”

Markie nodded. “Yeah.” Nothing more needed to be said on that score. “She took over my life after she found out about me and Justin and the fact that I was pregnant. She read all about it. In here.” Markie stroked the dairy in a gesture that was resigned, gentle.

Robbie’s jaw dropped in genuine shock. “That’s how she found out? By snooping around in your diary?”

Markie shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. The whole thing happened so fast. She would have discovered the truth sooner or later, anyway.”

“Oh, man. I imagine she had a cow. And there you were, all alone in this house with her.”

“I had Daddy.”