Vampire Rites Trilogy

Such pessimistic words were on everybody’s lips. Even those who scoffed outright at the idea of a Vampaneze Lord always seemed to end with a ‘still …’ or ‘however …’ or ‘but …’ The tension was clogging the dusty mountain air of the tunnels and Halls, constantly building, stifling all present.

The only one who didn’t seem troubled by the rumours was Kurda Smahlt. He turned up outside our chambers, as upbeat as ever, the third night after Harkat had delivered his message.

“Greetings,” he said. “I’ve had a hectic two nights, but things are calming down at last and I’ve a few free hours. I thought I’d take Darren on a tour of the Halls.”

“Great!” I beamed. “Mr Crepsley was going to take me but we never got round to it.”

“You don’t mind if I escort him, Larten?” Kurda asked.

“Not in the slightest,” Mr Crepsley said. “I am overwhelmed that one of your eminence has found the time to act as a guide so close to your investiture.” He said it cuttingly, but Kurda ignored the elder vampire’s sarcasm.

“You can tag along if you want,” Kurda offered cheerfully.

“No thank you,” Mr Crepsley smiled thinly.

“OK,” Kurda said. “Your loss. Ready, Darren?”

“Ready,” I said, and off we set.

Kurda took me to see the kitchens first. They were huge caves, built deep beneath most of the Halls. Large fires burned brightly. The cooks worked in shifts around the clock during times of Council. They had to in order to feed all the visitors.

“It’s quieter the rest of the time,” Kurda said. “There are usually no more than thirty vampires in residence. You often have to cook for yourself if you don’t eat with the rest at the set times.”

From the kitchens we progressed to the breeding Halls, where sheep, goats and cows were kept and bred. “We’d never be able to ship in enough milk and meat to feed all the vampires,” Kurda explained when I asked why live animals were kept in the mountain. “This isn’t an hotel, where you can ring a supplier and re-stock any time you please. Shipping in food is an enormous hassle. It’s easier to rear the animals ourselves and butcher them when we need to.”

“What about human blood?” I asked. “Where does that come from?”

“Generous donors,” Kurda winked, and led me on. (I only realized much later that he’d side-stepped the question.)

The Hall of Cremation was our next stop. It was where vampires who died in the mountain were cremated. “What if they don’t want to be cremated?” I asked.

“Oddly enough, hardly any vampires ask to be buried,” he mused. “Perhaps it has something to do with all the time they spend in coffins while they’re alive. However, if someone requests a burial, their wishes are respected.

“Not so long ago, we’d lower the dead into an underground stream, and let the water wash them away. There’s a cave, far below the Halls, where one of the larger streams opens up. It’s called the Hall of Final Voyage, though it’s never used now. I’ll show it to you if we’re ever down that way.”

“Why should we be down there?” I asked. “I thought those tunnels were only used to get in and out of the mountain.”

“One of my hobbies is map-making,” Kurda said. “I’ve been trying to make accurate maps of the mountain for decades. The Halls are easy but the tunnels are much more difficult. They’ve never been mapped and a lot are in poor shape. I try to get down to them whenever I return, to map out a few more unknown regions, but I don’t have as much time to work on them as I’d like. I’ll have even less when I’m a Prince.”

“It sounds like an interesting hobby,” I said. “Could I come with you the next time you go mapping? I’d like to see how it’s done.”

“You’re really interested?” He sounded surprised.

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

He laughed. “I’m used to vampires falling asleep whenever I start talking about maps. Most have no interest in such mundane matters. There’s a saying among vampires: ‘Maps are for humans’. Most vampires would rather discover new territory for themselves, regardless of the dangers, than follow directions on a map.”

The Hall of Cremation was a large octagonal room with a high ceiling full of cracks. There was a pit in the middle – where the dead vampires were burnt – and a couple of long, gnarly benches on the far side, made out of bones. Two women and a man were sitting on the benches, whispering to each other, and a young child was at their feet, playing with a scattering of animal bones. They didn’t have the appearance of vampires – they were thin and ill-looking, with lank hair and rags for clothes; their skin was deathly pale and dry, and their eyes were an eerie white colour. The adults stood when we entered, grabbed the child and withdrew through a door at the back of the room.

“Who were they?” I asked.

“The Guardians of this chamber,” Kurda replied.

“Are they vampires?” I pressed. “They didn’t look like vampires. And I thought I was the only child vampire in the mountain.”

“You are,” Kurda said.

“Then who –”

“Ask me later!” Kurda snapped with unusual briskness. I blinked at his sharp tone, and he smiled an immediate apology. “I’ll tell you about them when our tour is complete,” he said softly. “It’s bad luck to talk about them here. Though I’m not superstitious by nature, I prefer not to test the fates where the Guardians are concerned.”

(Although he’d aroused my curiosity, I wasn’t to learn more about the strange, so-called Guardians until much later, as by the end of our tour I was in no state to ask any questions, and had forgotten about them entirely.)

Letting the matter of the Guardians drop, I examined the cremation pit, which was just a hollow dip in the ground. There were leaves and sticks in the bottom, waiting to be lit. Large pots were set around the hole, a club-like stick in each. I asked what they were for.

“Those are pestles, for the bones,” Kurda said.

“What bones?”

“The bones of the vampires. Fire doesn’t burn bones. Once a fire’s burnt out, the bones are extracted, put in the pots, and ground down to dust with the pestles.”

“What happens to the dust?” I asked.

“We use it to thicken bat broth,” Kurda said earnestly, then burst out laughing as my face turned green. “I’m joking! The dust is thrown to the winds around Vampire Mountain, setting the spirit of the dead vampire free.”

“I’m not sure I’d like that,” I commented.

“It’s better than burying a person and leaving them to the worms,” Kurda said. “Although, personally speaking, I want to be stuffed and mounted when my time comes.” He paused a moment, then burst out laughing again.

Leaving the Hall of Cremation, we set off for the three Halls of Sport (individually they were called the Hall of Basker Wrent, the Hall of Rush Flon’x, and the Hall of Oceen Pird, though most vampires referred to them simply as the Halls of Sport). I was eager to see the gaming Halls, but as we made our way there, Kurda paused in front of a small door, bowed his head, closed his eyes and touched his eyelids with his fingertips.

“Why did you do that?” I asked.

“It’s the custom,” he said, and moved on. I stayed, staring at the door.

“What’s this Hall called?” I asked.

Kurda hesitated. “You don’t want to go in there,” he said.

“Why not?” I pressed.

“It’s the Hall of Death,” he said quietly.

“Another cremation Hall?”

He shook his head. “A place of execution.”

“Execution?” I was really curious now. Kurda saw this and sighed.