Head Kid

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It was a strange tune, picked out in the eerie, ghost-story plinky-plinky style that all musical boxes play. It was like a nursery rhyme tune, a mix of “Ring a Ring o’ Roses” and “London Bridge is Falling Down” and “Three Blind Mice”. But with a tiny element of “Let’s Marvin Gaye and Get it On” by Charlie Puth, featuring Meghan Trainor.

“That’s odd,” said Mr Carter, staring at the musical box.

“Yes,” said Dionna. “‘Let’s Marvin Gaye and Get it On’? How can that possibly be the tune? The box is far too old for—”

“No, I mean,” he said, “it hasn’t been wound up. I doubt it’s been wound up for years.” He shrugged and turned back to Ryan and Dionna. “Anyway, where were we?”

Neither Ryan nor Dionna wanted to answer that question. But luckily they didn’t have to because at that point Mr Carter fainted.

His eyes closed, his knees buckled and he crumpled in a heap on the floor.

“Blimey,” said Dionna.

She turned to Ryan, expecting to see him smirking because maybe he’d put something in Mr Carter’s tea, or set up some kind of prank that had led to the head teacher fainting.

But Ryan, too, was crumpled in a heap on the floor.

“Oh!” said Dionna. “What’s happening?”

“I don’t know,” said Mrs Wang from where she’d been standing in the corner of the office all along. “But I’d really like you to take your pants back. It’s very hard to hold them up when you’re on crutches.”