Monster War

Just before the Golem slammed into the Plaza Hotel in a massive explosion of concrete and steel, he snapped open a portal. As the landmark structure collapsed around them, everyone leaped through the gateway, which hung in space like a balloon.

Moments later, the Plaza Hotel, which had stood for over a hundred years, was gone…and so were Charlie and his friends.

CHAPTER SIX THE HIDDEN HEADMASTER (#ulink_e60ec3cf-2f42-51e0-a63d-ce2f3b3e7ea3)

Afiery portal snapped open on the red brick in front of Buckingham Palace. Charlie stepped through first, followed by Violet.

“So where do you figure they are exactly?” she asked, glancing around.

“Don’t know,” Theodore replied, stepping through next, followed by Brooke. “But I bet the guys in the hairy hats do.” He pointed to the main entrance of the palace. It was guarded by several bayonet-wielding men wearing red jackets and furry black hats. “Let’s just tell them to bring us to the Headmaster before giant monsters destroy the world.”

Brooke grinned. “We could do that…or we could try it my way.”

“And which way is that?” Violet asked.

“The pretty girl way.”

She walked over towards the nearest royal guard with her thousand-watt smile turned on full blast. “Hey there, soldier! I love your uniform…it makes you look so strong and tall.” She leaned towards him. “So listen, we think a good friend of ours is a guest inside the palace. Can you help us find her?”

The guard stared straight ahead, unblinking, not responding in any way.

Brooke glanced at Charlie, baffled - being ignored was clearly something she didn’t have much experience with. She turned back to the guard with a flip of her pretty blonde hair. “Hey, don’t worry. I get it. You’re just supposed to stand there like a statue. That’s your job, right? Totally cool. You’re rocking that look really well, by the way. So here’s what we’re going to do. I’ll tell you who I’m looking for and you just whisper where she is - it’ll be our little secret. Her name is Headmaster Brazenhope.”

No reply from the guard.

Charlie could tell from Brooke’s expression that she was getting frustrated and he knew that when she got frustrated, she got angry and when she got angry—

“Look here!” the tall girl snapped. “I don’t like this attitude! Now you better help us out this instant because if we don’t get in there and see the Headmaster right away, giant monsters are going to destroy the world - comprende?”

“Hey, that was my plan…” Theodore mumbled.

“Comprende?” Charlie asked, walking up to her. “He doesn’t speak Spanish, Brooke - he’s British.”

“Actually, I do know a little Spanish,” the guard said defensively. He held his thumb and forefinger a few centimetres apart. “Un poquito.”

“You talked!” Brooke shouted. “I knew you could!”

“Hey, kid!”

Charlie was startled by a man’s voice high above. He looked up to discover Rex Henderson hanging out of a third-storey window, waving cheerily. Against the majesty of Buckingham Palace, the cowboy’s glowing lasso and weathered Stetson made him seem like a page out of ‘What’s Wrong With This Picture’.

“Stop goofing around and get on up here! We got a lot to talk about!”

Charlie and his friends rushed inside, past the palace guard. As soon as they were out of earshot, the man sighed heavily. “Americans…”

Charlie had never seen anything as ornate as the inside of the palace. Elegant statuary and priceless paintings seemed to fill every nook and cranny.

“Hey, is that a Rembrandt?” Theodore said, pointing to a haunting portrait of a dour-looking man. He ran his fingers across it. “Look, you can feel the paint - it’s real!”

“Of course it’s real,” a clipped British voice scolded. “And now it’s ‘real’ dirty.”

They all turned to see a thin, older man walking towards them with a puffy cloud of white hair atop his skeletal head. He was dressed in an extravagant purple suit - velvet by the look of it.

“Sorry about that, sir,” Violet said. “That’s just Theodore.”

“And I am one of Her Majesty’s valets. My name is Oscar.”

“Like the Grouch?” Theodore blurted.

The man turned to him. “What an atrocious little boy you are.”

“Exactly,” Theodore replied, nodding. “Definitely atrocious.”

“Believe it or not,” Charlie said, “he’s actually got a few good qualities.”

“Perhaps we should mount an expedition to find them someday. Until then - follow me, please.”

With that, Oscar strode through the maze of hallways and stairs as the rest of the group struggled to keep up. Before long, they arrived at a heavy, hand-carved door. Oscar opened it and led the group into an elegant parlour filled with antique furniture. Rex was perched casually on the arm of a peacock-blue sofa that Charlie guessed cost more than his father had made in his entire lifetime. Tabitha Greenstreet stood on the other side of the room, her red, bejewelled hair perfectly framed by the pattern on the ivory wallpaper.

“There you are,” Tabitha said, rushing to them. She hugged Charlie tightly. “We’ve been so worried.”

“We’re fine,” Charlie replied. “But the rest of the world isn’t doing too good. Have you seen what’s going on with the Elemental Golems?”

Rex nodded. “Yup. Just when you think you know every Nethercritter out there, them fiends whip up some new ones to throw at ya. It’s…it’s wearying, is what it is.”

“May I get you anything?” Oscar asked. Then, with the slightest of devilish grins, “A selection of cheeses, perhaps?”

“No more cheese!” Rex roared. “I mean, ya’ll been unbelievably kind to us, but I’m about cheesed out. Everything here is cheese! Cheese selections, cheese sandwiches, cheese on toast. I had a dream last night where I was crushed under a giant wedge of cheddar cheese before being rescued by pirates from a cheese boat that was sailing on an ocean of melted cheese. In other words - no more cheese, ya got that!”

“Am I to understand,” Oscar said mildly, “that you would not care for any more cheese?”

“Let me put it this way - if I ever ask for cheese again, I want you to—”

“Is there any way we could see the Headmaster?” Charlie interrupted. “We really need to talk.”

The Headmaster lay propped up in bed in the room just off the parlour. Her normally brown skin looked waxy and ashen. She listened carefully as Charlie finished his story.

“So basically, we’re exiled and not allowed to do anything or we’ll get Reduced, but we have to do something because the whole planet’s in danger.”

The Headmaster nodded and Charlie detected a wince of pain. The wounds she’d suffered in the icy lair of the Named were grave, and she was still only in the beginning stages of recovery. Watching her now, Charlie flashed back to the last time he had seen her healthy and active - mowing down literally hundreds of Nethercreatures as they swarmed across her like ants on a sugar lump.

“The fate of the planet is in your hands,” she said, her voice not much more than a whisper. “As you witnessed, the Fifth cannot be destroyed by any mortal means. Even weapons with a touch of the Nether on them, like yours—” she gestured to Charlie’s rapier with a trembling hand “—won’t harm her. To destroy her, you need one of the Ancient Weapons, forged in the Nether eons ago. You need the Sword of Sacrifice.”

“Fine. How do we get it?” Violet asked. Her eyes were as flinty as the axe at her side and Charlie was struck once again by how hard she seemed now. The Banisher that stood beside him was a far cry from the gentle, artistic girl he had met just over six months ago.

“You don’t get the sword, Ms Sweet,” the Headmaster said softly. “Only a Double-Threat can wield something so powerful. And since Pinch has betrayed us and I’m clearly in no condition to get out of this bed, let alone fight, the task falls to Mr Benjamin, I’m afraid. But he cannot do it alone.”

Theodore stepped forward. “We’ll protect him - no problemo there. Nobody hurts Charlie Benjamin when Theodore Dagget is around. Nobody.”