Navy Blues

As a Lieutenant Commander aboard the submarine USS Atlantis, Steve was at sea for as long as six months out of a year. From the first Carol hadn’t seemed to mind sending him off on a three-to-four month cruise. She even used to joke about it, telling him all the projects she planned to complete when he was at sea, and how pleased she was that he would be out of her hair for a while. When he’d returned she’d always seemed happy that he was home, but not exuberant. If anything had gone wrong in his absence—a broken water pipe, car repairs, anything—she’d seen to it herself with barely more than a casual mention.

Steve had been so much in love with her that the little things hadn’t added up until later— much later. He’d deceived himself by overlooking the obvious. The physical craving they had for each other had diluted his doubts. Making love with Carol had been so hot it was like a nuclear meltdown. Toward the end she’d been eager for him, but not quite as enthusiastic as in the past. He’d been trusting, blind and incredibly stupid when it came to his ex-wife.

Then by accident he’d learned why she’d become so blasé about his comings and goings. When he left their bed, his loveless, faithless wife had a built-in replacement—her employer, Todd Larson.

It was just short of amazing that Steve hadn’t figured it out earlier, and yet when he thought about it, he could almost calculate to the day when she’d started her little affair.

“Steve?”

Lindy’s voice cut into his musings, and he lifted his gaze to meet hers. Her eyes were round and dark with concern. Steve experienced a small twinge of guilt for the way he’d reacted to his sister and Rush’s marriage. When he’d learned his best friend had married his only sister after a dating period of a mere two weeks, Steve had been furious. He’d made no bones about telling them both the way he felt about their hurry-up wedding. Now he realized his own bitter experience had tainted his reasoning, and he’d long since apologized. It was obvious they were crazy about each other, and Steve had allowed his own misery to bleed into his reaction to their news.

“Okay, okay. I’ll return Carol’s call,” he answered in an effort to appease his younger sibling. He understood all too well how much Lindy wanted him to settle matters with Carol. Lindy was happy, truly happy, and it dismayed her that his life should be at such loose ends.

“When?”

“Soon,” Steve promised.

The front door opened, and Rush let himself into the apartment; his arms were loaded with Christmas packages. He paused just inside the kitchen and exchanged a sensual look with his wife. Steve watched the heated gaze and it was like throwing burning acid on his half-healed wounds. He waited a moment for the pain to lessen.

“How’d the shopping go?” Lindy asked, her silky smooth voice eager and filled with pleasure at the sight of her husband.

“Good,” Rush answered and faked a yawn, “but I’m afraid it wore me out.”

Steve playfully rolled his eyes toward the ceiling and stood, preparing to leave the apartment. “Don’t tell me you two are going to take another nap!”

Lindy’s cheeks filled with crimson color and she looked away. In the past few days the two of them had taken more naps than a newborn babe. Even Rush looked a bit chagrined.

“All right, you two,” Steve said good-naturedly, reaching for his leather jacket. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

One glance from Lindy told him she was grateful. Rush stopped Steve on his way out the door and his eyes revealed his appreciation. “We’ve decided to look for a place of our own right away, but it doesn’t look like we’ll be able to move until after the first of the year.” He paused and lowered his gaze, looking almost embarrassed. “I know this is an inconvenience for you to keep leaving, but …”

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve countered with a light chuckle. He patted his friend on the back. “I was a newlywed once myself.”

Steve tried to sound casual about the whole matter, but doubted if he’d succeeded. Being constantly exposed to the strong current of love flowing between his friend and his sister was damn difficult, because he understood their need for each other all too well. There’d been a time when a mere look was all that was required to spark flames between him and Carol. Their desire seemed to catch fire and leap to brilliance with a single touch, and they couldn’t get to bed fast enough. Steve had been crazy in love with her. Carol had appealed to all his senses and he’d ached with the desire to possess her completely. The only time he felt he’d accomplished that was when he was making love to her. Then and only then was Carol utterly his. And those times were all too brief.

Outside the apartment, the sky was dark with thick gray clouds. Steve walked across the street and headed toward the department stores. He didn’t have much Christmas shopping to do, but now appeared to be as good a time for the task as any.

He hesitated in front of a pay phone and released a long, slow breath. He might as well call Carol and be done with it. She wanted to gloat, and he would let her. After all, it was the season to be charitable.

* * *

The phone rang just as Carol was coming in the front door. She stopped, set her purse on the kitchen counter and glared at the telephone. Her heart rammed against her rib cage with such force that she had to stop and gather her thoughts. It was Steve. The phone might as well have been spelling out his name in Morse code, she was that sure.

“Hello?” she answered brightly, on the third ring.

“Lindy said you phoned.” His words were low, flat and emotionless.

“Yes, I did,” she murmured, her nerves clamoring.

“Do you want to tell me why, or are you going to make me guess? Trust me, Carol, I’m in no mood to play twenty questions with you.”

Oh Lord, this wasn’t going to be easy. Steve sounded so cold and uncaring. She’d anticipated it, but it didn’t lessen the effect his tone had on her. “I … I thought we could talk.”

A short, heavy silence followed.

“I’m listening.”

“I’d rather we didn’t do it over the phone, Steve,” she said softly, but not because she’d planned to make her voice silky and smooth. Her vocal chords had tightened and it just came out sounding that way. Her nerves were stretched to their limit, and her heart was pounding in her ear like a charging locomotive.

“Okay,” he answered, reluctance evident in every syllable.

“When?” Her gaze scanned the calendar—the timing of this entire venture was of primary importance.

“Tomorrow?” he suggested.

Carol’s eyes drifted shut as the relief worked its way through her stiff limbs. Her biggest concern was that he would suggest after the Christmas holidays, and then it would be too late and she would have to reschedule everything for January.

“That would be fine,” Carol managed. “Would you mind coming to the house?” The two bedroom brick rambler had been awarded to her as part of the divorce settlement.

Again she could feel his hesitation. “As a matter of fact, I would.”

“All right,” she answered, quickly gathering her wits. His not wanting to come to the house shouldn’t have surprised her. “How about coffee at Denny’s tomorrow evening?”

“Seven?”

Carol swallowed before answering. “Fine. I’ll see you then.”

Her hand was still trembling a moment later when she replaced the telephone receiver in its cradle. All along she’d accepted that Steve wasn’t going to fall into her bed without some subtle prompting, but from the brusque, impatient sound of his voice, the whole escapade could well be impossible … this month. That bothered her. The one pivotal point in her plan was that everything come together quickly. One blazing night of passion could easily be dismissed and forgotten. But if she were to continue to invite him back one night a month, several months running, then he just might catch on to what she was doing.

Still, when it had come to interpreting her actions in the past, Steve had shown a shocking lack of insight. Thankfully their troubles had never intruded in the bedroom. Their marriage relationship had been a jumbled mess of doubts and misunderstandings, accusations and regrets, but their love life had always been vigorous and lusty right up until the divorce, astonishing as it seemed now.

* * *

At precisely seven the following evening, Carol walked into Denny’s Restaurant on Seattle’s Capitol Hill. The first year she and Steve had been married, they’d had dinner there once a month. Money had been tight because they’d been saving for a down payment on the house, and an evening out, even if it was only Saturday night at Denny’s, had been a real treat.

Two steps into the restaurant Carol spotted her former husband sitting in a booth by the window. She paused and experienced such a wealth of emotion that advancing even one step more would have been impossible. Steve had no right to look this good—far better than she remembered. In the thirteen months since she’d last seen him, he’d changed considerably. Matured. His features were sharper, clearer, more intense. His lean good looks were all the more prominent, his handsome masculine features vigorous and tanned even in December. A few strands of gray hair streaked his temple, adding a distinguished air.

His gaze caught hers and Carol sucked in a deep, calming breath, her steps nearly faltering as she advanced toward him. His eyes had changed the most, she decided. Where once they had been warm and caressing, now they were cool and calculating. They narrowed on her, his mistrust shining through as bright as any beacon.

Carol experienced a moment of panic as his gaze seemed to strip away the last shreds of her pride. It took all her willpower to force a smile to her lips.

“Thank you for coming,” she said, and slipped into the red upholstered seat across from him.

The waitress came with a glass coffeepot, and Carol turned over her cup, which the woman promptly filled after placing menus on the table.

“It feels cold enough to snow,” Carol said as a means of starting conversation. It was eerie that she could have been married to Steve all those years and feel as if he were little more than a stranger. He gave her that impression now. This hard, impassive man was one she didn’t know nearly as well as the one who had once been her lover, her friend and her husband.

“You’re looking fit,” Steve said after a moment, a spark of admiration glinting in his gaze.