“This isn’t the time to play guessing games. Tell me what you’re thinking,” she snapped, hardly believing he could be holding something back. Jerry knew as well as she did what kind of predicament the company was in.
Her brother set down his briefcase and motioned toward the leather chair. “Perhaps you should take a seat.”
“Me?” She noted that his voice was strained, which surprised her almost as much as his request.
“You, too, Alek,” Jerry advised as he moved to the opposite end of her office.
Julia turned toward him and tried to read his features in the gloom of late afternoon. The storm had darkened the sky, stationing shadows around the room until it resembled a dungeon, Julia thought.
“Whatever you have to say, please say it, Jerry. You’ve never worried about phrasing before.”
Jerry’s eyes traveled from Julia to Aleksandr, and she saw that his cheeks were flushed. He sighed. “There’s only one legal way I know to keep Aleksandr in the country.” Slowly he leveled his gaze on Julia. “You could marry him.”
“I was hoping you’d stop by and see me.” Julia’s grandmother, Ruth Conrad, spoke softly, stretching out one hand. She was sitting up in bed, her thin white hair arranged in a chignon of sorts. Ruth was pale, her skin a silky shade of alabaster, her eyes sunken now with age, revealing only a hint of the depth and beauty that had been hers in years past. She was frail and growing more so daily.
The cool facade Julia wore in her role with Conrad Industries quickly melted whenever she saw her grandmother. She sank gratefully into the chair next to the brass four-poster bed and slipped off her shoes, tucking her feet beneath her.
Visiting Ruth at the family home was an escape for her. She left her worries and troubles outside. Her world was often filled with chaos, but with Ruth she found calm; the day’s tension was replaced by peace and solace.
The storm outside seemed far removed from this bedroom haven.
“The thunder woke me,” Ruth said in a low voice, smiling weakly. “I lay back and I could hear huge kettledrums in the sky. Oh, how they rumbled. Then I had Charles open the drapes so I could look outside. The clouds billowed past like giant puffs of smoke. It was a marvelous show.”
Julia took her grandmother’s hand and released a slow, uneven breath. She glanced around the room, studying the treasures Ruth had chosen to keep nearby. A row of silver-framed pictures rested on the nightstand, next to several prescription bottles. There was one of her son—Julia’s father—another of the family together, plus Ruth’s own wedding portrait and a candid photo of her beloved husband, Louis. A chintz-covered Victorian chair sat in front of the fireplace, a wool afghan draped over the back for when Ruth felt well enough to venture from the bed. The round table beside the chair was covered with a dark velvet cloth. Julia’s picture, one taken shortly after she’d graduated from college, was propped up beside the lamp. Julia looked away, unable to bear the naïveté and innocence she saw in that younger version of herself.
“I’m so pleased you stopped by,” Ruth said again.
Julia came almost every day, knowing the time left with her grandmother was shrinking. Neither spoke of her death, although it was imminent. Julia was determined to do whatever she could to make these last days as comfortable and happy for her as possible. That was what kept Julia going day after day. She spent hours talking to her grandmother, telling her about Alek’s ideas, the innovations he was currently working on, her own hopes for the company. They discussed the future and how the entire industry was about to change because of Alek’s vision. Her grandmother had been as impressed with Alek as Julia was. Ruth had wanted to meet him, and Julia had asked Jerry to bring Alek over. From what she heard later, the two had been quite charmed by each other.
“I’ve been meaning to talk to you,” Ruth whispered.
She sounded so weak. “Rest,” Julia said urgently. “We’ll talk later.”
Ruth responded with a fragile smile. “I don’t have much longer, Julia. A few weeks at the most.…”
“Nonsense.” The truth was too painful to face, yet much too persistent to ignore. “You’re just tired, that’s all. It’ll pass.”
Ruth’s eyes drifted shut, but determination opened them a moment later. “We need to talk about Roger,” her grandmother said insistently.
A muscle in Julia’s neck tensed, and a cold shiver went down her backbone. “Not…now. Some other time. Later.”
“Might not…have later. Best to do it now.”
“Grandma, please…”
“He betrayed you, child, and you’ve held on to that grief all these years. Your pain is killing you just as surely as this heart of mine is draining away my life.”
“I don’t even think of him anymore.” Julia tried to reassure her, although it was a lie. She struggled to push every thought of Roger from her mind, but that wouldn’t happen until she’d completely rebuilt what he’d destroyed.
“Regret and anger are poisoning you like…like venom.… I’ve watched it happen and been too weak…to help you the way I wanted.”
“Grandma, please, Roger is out of my life. I haven’t seen him in over a year. What’s the point of talking about him now?”
“He’s gone…but you haven’t forgotten him. He failed you.”
Julia clenched her teeth. That was one way of putting it. Roger had failed her. He’d also betrayed, tricked and abandoned her. When she thought of how much she’d loved him, how much she’d trusted him, it made her physically ill. Never again would she allow a man into her heart. Never again would she give a man the power to manipulate her.
“The time’s come to forgive him.”
Julia closed her eyes and shook her head. Her grandmother was asking the impossible. A woman didn’t forgive the things Roger had done. Roger, the company’s onetime director of research and development—and Julia’s fiancé—had taught her the most valuable lesson of her life. She wasn’t going to turn her back on the humiliation he’d caused her. Forgive him? Out of the question. She’d rather bury herself in work, insulate herself from love, than forgive Roger.
“I want you to love again,” Ruth said, but her voice was so frail Julia had to strain to hear. “I don’t think I can die in peace, knowing you’re so miserable.”
“Grandma, how can you say that? Jerry and I are working hard to rebuild the company. We’re on the brink of doing truly amazing things. I’ve told you about them and about everything Aleksandr’s done. How can you say I’m miserable? These are the most challenging, exciting days of my life.”
“None of that means much…not when you’re still imprisoned in pain. I’ve waited all these years for you to break free and fall in love again. It hasn’t happened. I…look at you—” she hesitated and tears moistened her faded eyes “—and my heart aches. I want you to marry, to discover the happiness I found. It’s the only thing that’s kept me alive. I’ve waited for your season of suffering to pass.…”
“I’ll never be able to trust another man.”
“You must for your own sake.”
“I can’t, not after what Roger did. Surely you understand. Surely you—”
With what must have required supreme effort, Ruth raised her hand, cutting Julia off. “I’ve longed for the day you’d proudly introduce me to the man you love. I was hoping it would be Aleksandr.… He’s such a dear man, and so brilliant. I’d also like Jerry to find a woman to love.…” She paused. “I can’t wait any longer. My time is short, so…very short.” Her eyes drifted closed once more and her head slumped forward.
Julia sat quietly while the seeds of fear took root within her. Love again? Impossible. Something she refused to even consider.
Marriage. To Alek.
Twice in the same day someone had suggested she marry him. First Jerry, as a ridiculous solution to their problem with the Immigration people, and now her grandmother, as the answer to her pain.
Julia stood, her arms wrapped around her. Glancing over at Ruth, she realized her grandmother was asleep. The grandmother who’d loved and supported her all her life, who’d stood by her when the whole world exploded. When Ruth had lost her son and Julia her father, when the man who was supposed to love her betrayed them all.
Julia remembered a time, long past, when she’d been a child and a fierce thunderstorm had raged in the dead of night. Terrified, she’d raced down the hallway to Ruth’s room and slipped into bed with her. Even then she’d known that was the safest place in all the world for her to be.
That security had always been with her. Soon she would lose her anchor, the person who’d guided and loved her. Ruth had never asked anything of her before. Julia didn’t know how she could refuse now.
Julia’s request came as no surprise. Aleksandr had been waiting for it since the scene in her office the day before. If he lived to be a wise, old man he doubted he’d ever understand this country he’d come to love. Nor was he likely to understand Julia Conrad. She was a woman encased in frost, a woman with a wounded soul. He’d recognized this from the moment they’d met. She was uncomfortable with him; he knew that from the way she avoided eye contact. He hadn’t had much contact with her, and he suspected she preferred to communicate through her brother.
Julia’s assistant let him into the office and announced his arrival. Julia was sitting at her desk writing. When he entered the room, she glanced up and smiled.
“Please, sit down,” she said politely, motioning toward the chair on the other side of her desk. “I hope I’m not interrupting your work.”
For a few seconds Aleksandr didn’t trust himself to speak. Her pain was closer to the surface than ever before, almost visible beneath the facade she’d erected.
“I’m never too busy for you, Ms. Conrad,” he said, bowing his head slightly.
Her features seemed perfect to him, her beauty so flawless it was chilling. He noted that her creamy skin was flushed but her eyes dark and clear as they studied him with equal interest.