Moon Over Water

He needed her then as he’d needed her so many times before. Despite the advanced state of her pregnancy, he kissed her with little gentleness and she responded with a hunger that quickly ignited his own. When he would have stopped, she pulled him to the bed and drew him close.

Azucena deserved a much better man than he would ever be. She deserved someone who would love her completely for herself. A man who could give his name to the child who grew inside her. It shamed him that she was only two years older than his daughter, but that didn’t stop him from burying himself between her thighs. In the moment of his release he cried out Ginny’s name. It wasn’t the first time, and he suspected it wouldn’t be the last.

Lorraine had read the letter so many times she’d memorized it. She’d given up sleeping at her own place and spent the nights at her mother’s house instead. While she stayed there, she slept very little. Exhausted and angry, she sat in the dark living room night after night and tried to make sense of what she’d learned.

She was vaguely aware that two weeks or so had passed since that afternoon in Dennis Goodwin’s office. Morning dawned and bright light spilled into the room and still Lorraine hadn’t slept. She wasn’t capable of dozing for more than an hour or two. The deep satisfying sleep of those at peace with life seemed forever lost to her.

The mother she’d known and loved was someone whose existence had virtually disappeared. Virginia—or the person she’d pretended to be—was completely out of reach now. Her actions were beyond Lorraine’s understanding—or forgiveness. Lorraine felt as if the foundation of her entire world had crumbled beneath her.

Although she knew each word of the letter by heart, she removed it from the envelope and read it once again.

Dearest Ginny,

Today is our daughter’s twenty-first birthday. Where did all those years go? It seems only yesterday that I bounced Raine on my knee and sang her to sleep. It hurts to realize how much of her life I’ve missed.

I know you don’t want to hear this, but I never stopped loving you or needing you. I wish things could have been different for us. All I ask of you now is that you tell Raine the truth about me.

The decision to tell her I was dead is one we made together. At the time it seemed the right thing to do, but I’ve regretted it every day since. You know that. You also know I’m a man of my word. I’ve done as you wanted and stayed out of your lives, but I’m pleading with you now to tell Raine the truth. All of it. She’s legally an adult and old enough to make her own judgments.

I’m teaching at a small school in a coastal town called El Mirador on the Yucatán Peninsula. You can reach me by phone at the number on the bottom of the page. The school will make sure I get the message.

Are you well, Ginny? Do you lie awake at nights and think of me the way I do of you? Are you happy? This is my prayer for you, that you’ve found peace within yourself.

I’ll always love you.

Thomas

Three truths hit Lorraine full force each and every time she went over the letter. First and foremost, despite what she’d been told, her father was alive and well. Second, he loved her. Last—and what had the most profound impact on her—her mother had lied to her all these years.

There was a loud knock at the front door, yanking Lorraine from her thoughts.

She wasn’t surprised to find Gary standing on the other side of the screen door. “I thought you’d be here.” He glanced into the living room and eyed the disarray.

“What time is it?” she asked, although it was obviously morning.

“You were due at work an hour ago.”

“Is it that late already?” she asked. She drifted around the room, picking up books and papers and videotapes, piling them neatly on a shelf. Anything to avoid looking at him. Anything to delay telling him what she’d done.

“I don’t know what to do to help you anymore,” he said, lifting his palms in a gesture of helplessness. When she didn’t answer, he walked into the kitchen and opened the cupboard, then pulled out a tin of coffee.

Lorraine followed him.

“It might be a good idea if you dressed for work,” he suggested pointedly.

Rather than argue with him, she did as he asked, taking a quick shower and putting on her uniform, although she had no intention of showing up at the clinic. The scent of freshly brewed coffee greeted her when she returned. Gary handed her a mug and poured himself one.

“Let’s talk,” he said, motioning for her to sit at the table.

Once more she complied, because fighting him demanded too much energy.

He took the chair across from her. “Sweetheart, I know this is difficult, but you’ve got to get on with your life.”

She didn’t pretend not to know what he was talking about. “I realize that and I will.”

“That’s a good start.” He sipped his coffee, then sighed heavily, as if he’d dreaded this confrontation. “You haven’t been yourself ever since that meeting with your mother’s attorney.”

“I know.”

He hesitated, as if unsure how far to press her. “I realize the letter upset you. Hell, it would’ve upset anyone, but you’ve got to come to grips with reality. Sleeping here every night, watching the same videos over and over isn’t going to help.” He paused and changed tactics. “It’s been a month now, and you haven’t dealt with your mother’s death any better than when it first happened.”

“You’re right, I haven’t,” she agreed, cradling the mug with both hands, letting its warmth seep into her palms. Somehow she managed to go in to work most days, but she’d been late a number of times. Again and again she sat in front of the television and escaped into her favorite movies. Movies her mother had loved, too—romance, adventure, suspense, anything that would take her mind off the lies Virginia had told her. Lies both her parents had conspired in.

“What do you do here every night?” he asked. “Besides watch Humphrey Bogart and Cary Grant movies.”

“Do?” It seemed he had only to look around for an answer to that.

He glanced back into the living room and frowned.

Lorraine tried to look at the house through his eyes and had to admit its appearance must come as something of a shock. She was as neat and orderly as her mother had been. Both were meticulous housekeepers, yet Lorraine had gone about systematically tearing every room apart. The house was a shambles.

“What do you hope to prove?” he asked.

Lorraine was stunned by his lack of comprehension. “I’m not hoping to prove anything. I’m hoping to find what else my mother saw fit to hide from me.”

He stared into the distance as if it took some effort to assimilate her words. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but have you thought about talking to a counselor?” he asked gently. He risked glancing in her direction.

“You mean a mental-health professional?”

“Ah…yes.”

Lorraine couldn’t help it. She burst out laughing. “You think I’ve gone off the deep end? That I’m losing it?” As her laugh turned to a giggle, she wondered if he wasn’t far from right. At times the sense of betrayal and pain threatened to strangle her. That her parents, particularly her mother, had chosen to lie to her was incomprehensible.

“I know how difficult this is for you,” Gary added, rushing his words. “I’m trying to understand, and I know the people at Group Wellness are, too, but there’s a limit to just how accommodating everyone can be while you deal with this.”

“I agree with you.”

Gary’s eyes revealed his suspicion. “You do?”

“I’m booking the next month off work.”

“A month?” She could tell he was taken aback by the news. “That long? I think a week or two should be sufficient, don’t you?”

“Not for what I have in mind.”

“I thought we’d decided to save most of our vacation time for our honeymoon and—” He stopped midsentence and his eyes narrowed. “Have in mind? You have something in mind?”

“I’m going to see my father.”