Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 1 - 3

“So do you believe that the Sceptre is real?”

“It certainly looks that way.”

“I suppose this is a big deal for you, huh? Finding out that your gods really existed?”

“Ah, but we don’t know that. If the Sceptre is real, its true history could have been mixed up with the legends. Its existence does not prove that it was used to drive away the Faceless Ones.”

“Funny. I wouldn’t have thought that a living skeleton would be such a sceptic. So what’s our next move?”

Skulduggery was silent for a bit. “Right, well, we’ve got to work out what we need. We’ve got to work out what we need, how we get it and what we need to get to get what we need.”

“I think I actually understood that,” Stephanie said slowly. The car went over a bump. “No, it’s gone again.”

“We need the Elders to take action, so we need proof that Serpine has broken the Truce. We need to find the Sceptre and we also need to find out how to destroy the Sceptre.”

“OK, so how do we do the first one?”

“We’ll get the proof once we find the Sceptre.”

“And how do we find the Sceptre?”

“We find the key.”

“And how do we destroy the Sceptre?”

“Ah,” he said. “That’ll be the little bit of crime that we’ll have to embark on.”

“Crime,” Stephanie said with a smile. “Finally.”

11 (#uc0cf2925-679b-5137-b0eb-2046d781b6d1)

THE LITTLE BIT OF CRIME

rom their vantage point, parked across the road, they watched the vampires, once again in their blue overalls, walk up the steps and enter the gleaming art gallery. They were chatting and didn’t look intimidating at all. A few minutes later the staff and day shift security started to trickle out of the building. When every one of them was accounted for, Skulduggery reached into the back seat and pulled the black bag into his lap.

“We’re going now?” Stephanie asked, looking up into the evening sky. “But it’s still bright.”

“And that’s precisely why we’re going now,” he said. “Twenty minutes from now, there’ll be two fully-fledged vampires prowling around in there. I want to get in, find out how to destroy the Sceptre and get out before that happens.”

“Ah. Probably wise.”

“Very probably.”

They got out of the horrible Canary Car and crossed the street, left the pavement and moved through the garden area to a tall tree behind the gallery. Making sure they wouldn’t be seen, Skulduggery put the bag over his shoulder and started to climb. Stephanie jumped for the lowest branch, grabbed it and started climbing up after him. She hadn’t done anything like this in years, but climbing a tree was like falling out of one – easy. The tree’s limbs were long and strong, and they quickly came adjacent to the gallery’s roof, which was ridged with a dozen skylights. Stephanie hoisted herself up on a branch and sat there, regarding the large gap between building and tree with curiosity. It looked too far to jump.

“You sure I can’t come with you?” Stephanie asked.

“I need you out here in case something goes terribly, terribly wrong.”

“Like what?”

“Oh, any one of a number of things.”

“Fills me with confidence, that,” she muttered.

Skulduggery manoeuvred himself on to the longest branch and then walked along it, bent-legged and stooped over. His balance was unnatural. But there was still that gap. Without pausing he sprang forward, off the branch. He brought his arms up by his sides and out in front, and a tremendous gust of wind buffeted him over to the rooftop.

Stephanie promised herself that, one day, she’d get him to teach her how to do that.

Skulduggery looked back. “The gallery is outfitted with the most elaborate security systems,” he said as he opened the bag. “But because of the vampires, the alarms on the outer corridors are never set, so once I get by the main hall, it should be plain sailing, as they say.”

“As who say?”

“I don’t know. People who sail presumably.” He opened the bag and took out a harness that he started to strap himself into. He looked up at her. “Where was I?”

“I have no idea.”

“Oh, yes, my cunning plan. I need to access a control panel on the east wall. From there, I can disable everything. The floor is pressure sensitive, so I’m going to have to stay off it, but that shouldn’t be a problem for someone of my natural grace and agility.”

“You’re very impressed with yourself, aren’t you?”

“Exceedingly so.” He secured a thin wire on to a ventilation duct, looped it through his harness and led it back to one of the skylights.

Stephanie frowned. “You’re going to lower yourself down from here?”

“Yes. That’s the fun bit.”

“Right. But you’re going to have to open the skylight, yes? Won’t that set off an alarm?”

“Only a small one,” Skulduggery said with confidence.

She stared at him. “And wouldn’t that be enough?”

“It’s a silent little thing, hooked up to the nearby police station. Or it was hooked up. I passed by their transformer box before I collected you this morning. Oddly enough, it happened to short out at the exact same time. Something to do with a large amount of water mysteriously manifesting inside. I think they’re baffled. They certainly looked baffled…”

“And your entire plan hinges on the hope that they haven’t restored electricity yet?”

“Well, yes,” he said, after a slight hesitation. “But anyway.” He looked over at the setting sun then back at Stephanie.

“If you hear any screaming,” he said, “that’ll be me.”

He passed his hand over the lock and it broke apart, then opened up one of the halves of the skylight and climbed over the side. She watched him disappear into it, and then heard a slight whirring as he used the hand-held control to lower himself down in the harness.

Stephanie sat back against the tree trunk, keeping an eye out for… whatever she was supposed to be keeping an eye out for. Anything unusual. She frowned to herself, not entirely certain of what constituted “unusual” any more, and then she heard an unsettling scraping noise. She looked up.

The wire Skulduggery had attached to the ventilation duct was slipping.

She watched in horror as it slipped again, getting closer to the edge, closer to slipping off entirely. She thought of the pressure-sensitive floor, thought about Skulduggery crashing down and setting off every alarm in the place and the vampires running in and catching him. Although he didn’t have any blood for them to drink, she was sure they’d be able to find some other ways to punish the trespass.