Skulduggery Pleasant: Books 7 - 9

“Probably wise. But then we all decided it would just be easier to become vegetarians, so we did. Do you eat meat?”

“Yes.”

Lenka sat forward, eyes sparkling. “What was the last piece of meat you ate?”

“Uh,” said Valkyrie, “I don’t know, it was... It was before I got on the plane. I brought a sandwich with me. Chicken and stuffing.”

“Chicken!” Lenka exclaimed. “How was it? How did it taste?”

“It was OK. It tasted fine. Like chicken.”

“Wow,” said Lenka. “It tasted like chicken. I envy you so much, being able to eat chicken and being able to do… things. I’d love to spend a day in the world. Just walking around. Going into shops. Going to a concert. Sitting in an office.”

“An office?”

“Oh, yeah. And everyone’s wearing shirts and ties and arguing about annual reports and the photocopier not working... That’d be heaven.”

“Are you sure?”

“The hum that phosphorescent lights make – is it as comforting as I remember?”

“Uh...”

“I miss that sound so much.” She looked away, and after a moment Valkyrie became aware of a very low hum that was coming from Lenka’s direction.

Valkyrie cleared her throat. “Can I ask you something?”

Lenka stopped humming. “Sure.”

“Why did you come here? I mean, I can’t imagine making that decision, to leave everything behind just to watch over one person that you don’t even know.”

Lenka smiled. “Tyren asked. How could I refuse? I’d just started working for the Sanctuary, and I was full of ideals and pure thoughts. Once you start working there, you give yourself over to a higher duty, don’t you? You become a protector. You’re ready to give your life to ensure the safety of others.”

“That’s a very dramatic way of looking at things.”

“I’m a very dramatic person. But I’m sure you’re the same.”

“Dramatic?”

“Willing to give your life for the safety of others.”

“Eh, I don’t think so. Have you met those others? Most of them are idiots.”

“So there is no one you would die for?”

Valkyrie went quiet for a moment. “I’d die for my parents and my sister.”

“See?” Lenka said. “Out there, in the world, there are people I would die for. They are the reason I’m here. They are the reason I’ve sacrificed a normal life. I do this to keep them safe.”

“I hope they appreciate it.”

“Sadly, they will never know. They think I just disappeared one day. I couldn’t even leave them a note.”

“My God. That’s the most... selfless thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Then you should talk to the others,” Lenka said with a little laugh. “They’ve all sacrificed just as much as me, if not more. But we do what we do to make the world a safer place. When it gets cold here, really cold, that thought keeps me warm.”

“I... I want to hug you.”

“Hugging also keeps me warm.”

Valkyrie hugged her and Lenka laughed again.

“When you’re quite finished,” Skulduggery said, walking by.

Valkyrie got up. “See you around?” she said to Lenka.

Lenka held up her hands. “It’s kind of inevitable.”

Valkyrie caught up to Skulduggery. “These people are really nice. I’m not used to nice people. I’m used to you.”

“I’m nice,” he said.

“I can’t believe that you are what I now think of as normal, so that whenever I meet nice people they seem like weirdos.”

“I’m very nice.”

“You insult everyone you meet.”

“Not every single person. I don’t have time to insult every single person. And have I insulted anyone since we got here? No, I have not, because I am, as I said, nice.”

“I don’t think I’d be as nice as these guys if I’d been stuck here for the last thirty years. What kind of person do you think you’d need to be in order to spend thirty years in a mountain?”

“I don’t know,” Skulduggery said. “The kind of person who loves mountains, perhaps?”

“I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.”

“Me neither. I’d say you’d be quite cranky. But Lament picked them for a reason. They each have the right temperament. They each have a little thing called patience.”

Valkyrie snapped her fingers. “See, that’s why I’d be useless in here.”

“It’s definitely one of the reasons.”

She scowled at him.

The corridor split and they veered left until they came to the only room in there that didn’t have natural rock for walls. The laboratory was all stainless steel and polished surfaces, as precise and detailed as anything Valkyrie had ever seen in the Sanctuary. It was sleek and so compact that she almost missed the fact that the room was packed full of machinery and monitors. Lament sat in the corner, drinking tea.

“Hi,” Valkyrie said as they approached.